We know from our prior discussions that failure is not something to be feared and that failures themselves are not the end of the road. Today I want to share some additional insights with you that relate to the topic of Failure and Self-Development.

Development follows Demand

Think of any goal you want to accomplish and you’re in essence thinking of a scenario involving development. Obviously, we all know that development doesn’t happen overnight. Yet all too often we get frustrated when development doesn’t happen as quickly as we would like [my hand is raised here] and we get discouraged when failure seems to be our only ‘accomplishment.’

If this sounds like you too, take hope. A slight change in mindset could be the solution you need to open new pathways to success.

Recognize the following truths

Allow your development to occur as a result of ‘progressive’ demand.

Instead of trying to climb to the top of the mountain in one day, ask yourself to do it in stages.

Push yourself to the upper limits of your current comfort zone each day and then just a teensy-bit over.

Do this consistently over time and your comfort zone (and your ability to achieve) will gradually expand.

2. Don’t ignore your comfort zone, but recognize that comfort zones CAN change over time.

It’s important to be aware of your comfort zone and to challenge yourself here, but if you put undue expectations on yourself and push yourself too far, too fast with unrealistic expectations, then you’re setting yourself up for discouragement. Remember the classic goal-setting acronym “SMART” — goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. Use SMART goals that will help you expand your comfort zone over time — it may take a little longer, but you’ll increase your chances of success in the long run.

3. Development is a river of little failures.

As you challenge yourself to expand your comfort zone, undoubtedly you will fail along the way. But rather than be discouraged, use all these little failures as stepping stones along the way to reaching your goals.

Source: Pixabay/Soej24 CCO Creative Commons

Try It

Put this wisdom to the test: pick a goal you want to achieve and see if it works.

For example, let’s say you want to be able to do XX number of pushups. Start today by just doing 1 or 2, then tomorrow try for 3–4, and so on gradually until you reach your goal. You may find you can’t immediately achieve the next step(s) every day and that some days your progress is better than others — that’s ok and is to be expected.

Don’t focus so much on the end goal; instead focus on the process.

Remember the old adage “Life is about the journey, not just the destination” — use this mindset as you expand your comfort zone over time, and by accepting failure just a natural part of the developmental process, you’ll turn what you thought were barriers on the path to reaching your goal into road signs that signify important progress markers on the journey to your dreams.

Want More Wisdom Like This?

My goal is to help people like you live a better life. I do this by sharing practical tips, life lessons, and action-oriented wisdom that you can use today to live your best life NOW. No BS, just real-world solutions that I can personally verify work. If that sounds like it would be helpful to you, check out my other articles on Medium.

If you want to engage with me even more — take a quick sec and connect with me — I’d be happy to share a complimentary copy of one of my novels with a new fan like you.

Life Lessons

Wait, You Mean the Sky is NOT Falling?

January 19, 2018 ThatHelpfulDad

Hitchhiking with Chicken Little

Lesson #102: When faced with a problem, rather than act rashly and increase your odds of doing something stupid, instead THINK and ACT from a position of wisdom.

Today’s Life Lesson was inspired by Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) who sums up our lesson with two simple words (1)…

Don’t Panic!

Sage wisdom for the Chicken Little in your life.

Ah, Mike, the Sky is still falling!

Don’t Panic? Great. I feel so empowered — not.

Come on, Mike, I got a Chicken Little situation here. I need help. I need some water. I need some air. Who took my towel. Heeeeeeelp!

Slow down there, cowboy. Take a breath. Let’s worth through this together.

We face new challenges every day, and that’s going likely to change. But here’s the good news — the sky is actually not falling. You have time to catch your breath. You have time to think.

How you view your problems and how you react to them will make all the difference.

Do you see your challenges for what they appear to be on the surface — as difficult obstacles designed to stop you?
Or do you see them for what they could be if you look a little harder — as new opportunities you can use to your advantage?
Do you react hastily and just try to bulldoze your way through the challenge?
Or do you take a moment to think first in order to come up with multiple options?

My goal here is to help you understand that how you react to your problems can mean the difference between capitalizing on an opportunity or making another foolish error and missing out…like Chicken Little.

How about an Example?

This is a bit tongue in cheek but amuse me for a moment since my 8-year old son Jax likes it….

Remember that time back in school (for me it was a loooooong time ago!) when your teacher sprang a surprise assignment on you in English class?

Teacher: “Mikey, I want you to give a presentation to the class next week about Abe Lincoln.”

“Ah, ok, Mrs. Wimpydimple.” You replied — totally bummed out at the thought of giving a speech. So went home and cursed life upset that you were now going to have this presentation ‘thing’ hanging over your head all weekend.

Doing your best Chicken Little impression you panicked out the wazoo. But after an hour or two — when you realized this ‘thing’ wasn’t going away — you decided you had to come up with a plan.

After giving it some thought, you came up with the following options:

Get pissed off, decide not to do the presentation, play Super Mario (2) instead, and just take an F on the assignment.
Realize that you have more than a week to come up with your presentation so you do a little bit each day to prepare for it. (First step — who the heck is this Abe Lincoln guy anyway?)
Agree to do the assignment but play Super Mario all weekend and just do everything for the presentation on the day before it’s due.
Something else — most likely involving playing Super Mario.

Let’s explore the options you had at the time.

Option A: If you chose this, you’d likely have had a hard time convincing the teacher (and your parents) that it was the correct decision — oh sure, you could have made this decision, but even back then you knew the consequences of it were probably not going to turn out well for you. As a result, you thought twice about picking this choice.
Option C: It was the same for this choice— at least this option was a bit better than Option A, and you knew you likely wouldn’t fail the assignment, but you also knew you probably wouldn’t score very high either. Sure you could have worked on your Mario skills, but you knew that waiting till the last minute would have put a lot of unnecessary stress on you — trying to finish the school assignment in a rush? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what wouldn’t be fun. Try again.
Option B: Even back then, you knew this was obvious ‘right’ answer (or at least the one your teacher and parents would have wanted you to choose).True, you didn’t like the fact that your teacher gave you a surprise assignment, but you were smart enough to realize it’s just a part of life. So you chose to go with this plan. As the week unfolded you discovered that by doing just a little each day in a calm manner, not only did you gain confidence that the presentation preparation would be easy, but also you discovered that you still had plenty of time to play Mario, and even enjoy the weekend with your friends. When the day came to give the presentation, you were confident and calm — knowing you were well prepared. The result: you knocked the presentation out of the park.

OK, so maybe your younger self wasn’t really that smart (I know that I wasn’t). Maybe you let your Chicken Little self-control you a bit (read: a lot!) longer than just a couple hours. But I like to think that sooner or later you made the right choice. So kudos to your younger self!

What’s the Takeaway?

Adversity happens to all of us and things don’t always go our way. However, if you can stop for a moment and just breath, you’ll soon realize that you have options.

Don’t panic.

Pick a plan.

Take action.

Gain confidence.

Realize the sky is actually not falling.

Follow-through with your plan to the end.

Gain more confidence.

Win.

Wait, what about Option D?

Ah, Option D. Yes, we almost forget that.

So, should your younger self have just eliminated that this one like you did with Options A and C? Not necessarily.

Jax used Option D to show some outside the box thinking. (Can you say “Proud Papa?).

Perhaps Option D is the best option of all. Think about it for a moment: you spend a bit of time making sure your presentation is strong and then you add the Minecraft statue into the mix. Can you say ‘extra credit, baby?’

Indeed, if you choose Option D, you get to have your cake and eat it too.

And suddenly life isn’t so hard.

Wait, where did Chicken Little run off to? Oh, it seems he went hitchhiking again…

Mike’s Notes:

The simple phrase “Don’t Panic” is actually on the front page of Adams’ famous book. As Adams amusedly writes, “Despite its many glaring (and occasionally fatal) inaccuracies, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy itself has outsold the Encyclopedia Galactica because it is slightly cheaper, and because it has the words ‘DON’T PANIC’ in large, friendly letters on the cover.” How appropriate for our discussion. Unfortunately I don’t think Chicken Little ever got a copy.
In 2018 Super Mario would of course be substituted with Minecraft or Roblox, but shockingly Mario is still hanging on isn’t he? I’m sure there’s a lesson in there somewhere.

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Product Reviews

15 Reasons Why The Last Jedi is the WORST Star Wars Movie Ever… and 1 Reason Why It Isn’t — Which Side of The Force are YOU On?

January 6, 2018 ThatHelpfulDad

OK, so Star Wars The Last Jedi wasn’t all that good. Hey, it’s happened before, and it will happen again. Need I remind you of such infamous sequels as Rocky V, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, and Prometheus (Alien), among others? These please-let-me-forget-what-I-just-saw films are often despised by loyal fans of said franchises. And while the Star Wars brand already had at least one film on this list (1), the immediate fan backlash over Star Wars The Last Jedi (TLJ) has ignited a firestorm that will surely burn for years to come. The question is why? In this article I’m going to give you 15 reasons why I believe TLJ is indeed the worst of the Star Wars films. But rather than just complain, I challenged myself to also come up with 1 reason why it isn’t – after all, this blog is about finding wisdom (often in the most unlikely of places) and TLJ certainly meets the definition of ‘unlikely place to find wisdom!’

Before We Begin – Who Am I?

I am nobody of importance — which, according to TLJ, makes me amazingly similar to Rey (2). Does that qualify me to talk about Star Wars? Clearly not. I’m not a professional movie critic, I can’t tell you why TLJ should/not win an Oscar for Cinematography, and I don’t have a clue why the Rotten Tomatoes website scores between critics and fans are so polar opposite (3) – nor do I really care. The fact is that I’m just an Average Joe (husband, father, worker bee) who was born in 1971 and grew up with Star Wars – which is to say you can probably trust me more than the Hollywood in-crowd who have a vested interest in trying to influence you why TLJ is so great. Like you, I know what I like about the franchise and what I don’t, so for me it’s just about common sense – if something looks like a duck, moves like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. TLJ is that duck.

As a way of level setting with you, here is my rank of Star Wars films:

Episode 4 – A New Hope (ANH): a true space opera adventure.
Episode 7 – The Force Awakens (TFA): a controversial rank I know, but I honestly loved this one.
Episode 5 – The Empire Strikes Back (ESB): everything a sequel should be.
Rogue One (R1) – the acting on this was amazing and I loved the non-Hollywood ending.
Episode 2 – Attack of The Clones (AofC): Yoda’s fight scene with Count Dooku was 10 seconds of pure awesomeness!
Episode 6 – Return of the Jedi (RofJ): a satisfying ending to the original trilogy at the time and ‘Slave Leia’ is an all-time classic.
Episode 3 – Revenge of the Sith (RotS): it wasn’t as bad as people said.
Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace (TPM): Liam Neesom was no match for the bad acting of young Anakin and the I-watch-to-rip-my-ears-off voice of Jar-Jar Binks.
Episode 8 – The Last Jedi (TLJ): let’s be honest, it’s a mess.

I provided this list so you can get a better perspective of where I stand. Either it will give me credibility with you (4) or you’ll think I’ll totally insane (5).

Now that we have all that out of the way, let’s get started…

15 Reasons why TLJ is the WORST of the SW Films

It was too formulaic — the entire movie felt overly-scripted, as if the director was following some Star Wars recipe card.
1. Step 1: Start with Spaceships chasing each other.
2. Step 2: Show the evil old white guy empire villains about to launch a weapon of mass destruction.
3. Step 3: Add in the jokes.
4. Step 4: Show some cute creatures to get more laughs.
5. Step 5: Explain what the force is.
6. Step 6: OK, now we need a lightsaber battle.
7. Step 7: don’t forget to include a “Join Me” scene.
8. Step 8: Show the current ‘emperor’ on the throne.
9. Step 9: Have emperor figure torture hero/heroine and create conflict for emperor’s apprentice.
10. Step 10: Have emperor figure talk about how he can see into the mind of his apprentice yet have the same omnipotent emperor fail to see his apprentice about to trick him.
11. Step 11: Can somebody get those AT-ATs on set again?
12. And on, and on…
13. Was there anything original about TLJ? (6)
The Jokes Were Forced – and I’m not talking about a good use of The Force. I don’t mind humor – it’s actually one of the things I’ve always enjoyed about Star Wars. There’s the swashbuckling humor of Han Solo that made ANH so great, the eternally classic lamentations of C3PO, and of course the misadventures of R2D2 and now BB8 – all are funny. And while they sometimes rubbed me the wrong way, characters like The Ewoks in RofJ and even (gasp) Jar-Jar Binks in TPM at least had some redeeming qualities (7). The point is, Star Wars has always included humor in the mix. It’s part of what makes the movies so fun. I thought TFA did a really clever job of getting back to the space opera feel of ANH and humor was a big part of the formula for success (The Finn character was especially great at this). But the jokes of TLJ were different. In all the prior movies, the humor was a part of the story, but in TLJ it felt like the story was written to get to the humor. As if the movie was just a series of sitcom skits set up specifically to get laughs – there’s a Seinfeld reference here (8) — and it seemed like the only thing that was missing was the laugh track. The problem is, I didn’t go to see TLJ for a two-bit comedy club routine. Sure some of the jokes were funny (9), but all too often the jokes were not just lame, there were actually insulting to fans. I can think of no greater example (10) than when Rey handed Luke his lightsaber back. Now mind you, TFA spent the entire movie building up to an incredibly climatic scene — at the end of the movie Rey finally tracks down the long-lost Luke and we witnessed a (very satisfying and emotional) climax. Quite frankly it was awesome and I left that movie eagerly waiting for the next. As fans we spent the next 2 years pondering what would happen next because TFA inspired us as to all the great possibilities of what the Star Wars franchise could become again. So what happens in TLJ? Like so much of the movie, not much — other than a cheap joke. Luke casually tosses the lightsaber (11) over his shoulder and shrugs, with a deadpan expression on his face – there’s a palpable feel in the theater that we are supposed to laugh — only most people don’t. Because most people don’t yet understand that, in TLJ world, things like this just doesn’t matter. But, as Yoda says, “Oh, but you will…You Will” (12). The bottom line – rather than the joke being funny, it was a punch to the gut for fans, leaving us wonder what might have been, even as the director was already plodding along to his next joke.
Something was “Off” — Like many of you, I went in to TLJ with so much hope and excitement. This is because both TFA and R1 were so freakin’ good. Naturally I expected the same from TLJ – or at least a good movie. Unfortunately I got neither. Yes the movie opened with Poe’s battle run and that was actually pretty good. I like the Poe character and, although I thought his Your Mama jokes were a bit over the top I just went with it at the time and everything was great. I enjoyed the opening scene, appreciated the Ball Turret Gunner reference (13), and was moved by the ‘sacrifice of victory’ lesson. But things went downhill from there. Very quickly I realized there was a problem, The Luke-Rey scene was a punch in the gut, the fiasco that was the casino (14) was a complete waste of time, and it quickly became apparent that not only were we not getting answers to questions posed in TFA, but we were soon being told they didn’t even matter. Quite frankly I was confused and about 20 minutes in (as my old friend Han used to say) “I got a bad feeling about this” movie. Yet even then, in spite of my fears, I battled against the dark side and desperately tried to like this movie. I wanted to like it – I really did. And then I didn’t. By the time TLJ ended I realized that the writer/director didn’t care if I liked it or not – in fact he didn’t seem to care about much of anything related to Star Wars or its fans (see #15 below).
The plot was just plain stupid – So basically the entire struggle in this movie (from a plot, not character, perspective) is that the Rebellion Forces are about to run out of gas and when they do the First Order (FO) ships will catch up to them and destroy them. Seriously, that’s the best you could come up with? OMG that was sooooooo dumb. I’m not gonna spend a lot of time on this one, it is what it is – and it was a complete mess. Did we really need a movie that was essentially a trumped-up car chase? I’d rather have watched yet another Fast & Furious (15) – at least those movies have some excitement. TLJ plot involving the slow-moving ships was akin to watching paint dry — but at least when you paint you have something to show for your efforts.
No REAL character development – people will dispute me on this and point out that Luke, Kylo, and Rey all supposedly grew on their ‘journeys’ in TLJ; I disagree. Luke’s character was completely destroyed (see #14), Kylo didn’t really develop at all (vs what he was already in TFA), and Rey’s development was a joke (we get a cliche infinity mirror effect and she learns…nothing). And then there is the Finn character — so great in TFA , yet so wasted in TLJ (16) – let’s be honest, Finn’s entire part in TLJ was pointless, right? At least we got something with Poe – awesome in TFA, Poe as least had multiple chances to showcase his personality and carry forward the Solo swashbuckling torch. Poe was good – but he didn’t really develop either and he wasn’t enough to save TLJ. In the end, we got nothing good/satisfying/hope-inspiring from a character perspective in TLJ and all those enticing questions that were asked in TFA were just laughed away as unimportant.
The Luke-Rey Jedi Training That Never Was — oh so disappointing. Besides the failed lightsaber joke, the storyline with Luke-Rey ended up as much ado about nothing. After a bunch of cliche scenes with Rey following Luke around on his errands (17), the director finally threw us a bone — Luke promised to teach Rey “3 Lessons about The Jedi.” First we get a nearly verbatim rehash what The Force is from prior movies – OK, at least it’s something (18). Then we get teased a bit with Rey’s visualization about a pit associated with the Dark Side – although this scene is also destroyed with sitcom-style jokes (most notably Luke tickling Rey with a leaf and calling it The Force). We get a second ‘lesson’ about how the Jedi have failed at everything and therefore there’s no point for Rey to become a Jedi – because, like everything else in TLJ, it doesn’t matter anymore. And (surprise) we never get the 3rd lesson (19). All that was ‘promised’ in TFA was thrown away. Would a Rocky-style training montage with Luke-Rey been cliche? You betcha. Would it have been 1000 times more satisfying than what we actually got in TLJ? No question.
In Your Face Diversity – Please don’t label a misogynistic racist for bringing this up, I’m not. Sure, I’ll admit I’m about as white-bread as they come, HOWEVER both my immediate and extended family are multi-racial. My wife and I actively teach our children to be proud of their asian heritage and often talk about the value of diversity. I’m all for diversity (20) – it makes the world a better place. But wasn’t TLJ a bit over the top? Was it really necessary to have a woman in every position of authority on the rebel ship? As good as the actress who played Rose was, didn’t it seem a bit like her (ultimately unnecessary to the plot) character was simply a vehicle to showcase an asian character? And did the director have to pair the asian character with the african-american character? It felt too forced. It was unnecessary. Finn and Rose both deserved more – they deserved a genuine reason to be in the story, not a meaningless storyline just to ‘give them a part.’ For example, Finn also deserved to carry forward his storyline with Rey – what happened to their potential romantic storyline from TFA? (21) Additionally — on the “Girl-Power Rules” motif — I honestly appreciated Laura Dern’s (22) ‘I’m extremely calm in the face of adversity’ quiet strength, and her single-handedly ramming her ship into the FO’s ships to save her friends was as badass as they come, but for all the positive lessons that were here, it was overshadowed by forcing so much diversity down our throats. It became too preachy – like much of TLJ — and overshadowed what good could have been.
So you’re telling me Princess Leia can fly? Come on, dude. If you’re gonna kill her, kill her. If not, don’t. We don’t need to see PL wake up in space as if she’s suddenly discovered super powers and literally fly in the vacuum of space like some half-assed astronaut — only to get back to the safety of the ship, lose whatever super powers she had, and end up in a coma.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHoNUc4eooUWhat was the point of all this? It was just odd. Although perhaps I shouldn’t complain – hey at least this unique, right? Unfortunately, whatever new powers PL discovered out in space, she quickly forget because she never used them again – and so we’re back to the same old ‘nothing to see here, folks’ routine.
Can we get someone on the empire/first order ships who is not an old german looking white man who seems to be smelling something rotten all the time? I loved Grand Moff Tarkin in ANH, and I thought it was clever to see him again in R1 and TFA, but does every high ranking official have to look like a nazi from now on? Can’t we come up with something original for a change? And why do they always have the same “who farted in here” expression? It was time for a change – but TLJ just recycled more of the same.
What’s with the Star Trek Set Ripoff? For as promising as the new Snoke villain character was in TFA, he was anything but in TLJ (but more on that in Reason #11). While I can appreciate that we finally got to see Snoke in the flesh in TLJ, the result was anything but impressive. To begin with there was his throne room — unless this was some sort of secret shout out to GOT ‘red wedding’ I’m not clear why Snoke’s throne room looked like something out of the original Star Trek Series. You couldn’t think of anything to put on the walls but red e-drapes? Were Palpatine’s Royal Guards in such desperate need of a job that Snoke was able to pick them up on the cheap? Did it have to be so obvious that they were eventually going to fight Rey and that when they did they would showcase a bunch of cliche versions of ninja weapons? Even the fight scene with Rey-Kylo vs Snoke’s guards was a Star Trek cliche – the only thing missing was the ‘pow,’ ‘blap,’ ‘zok’ effects of the old Batman series. We deserved better.
Apparently Supreme Leader Snoke doesn’t matter either? Again, all the goodwill that TFA built up around an exciting new character was tossed aside in TLJ with the pedestrian dismissal of Snoke. Somehow we’re supposed to accept that this mysterious man (?24?) who wrested control of the galaxy from the ashes of the old Empire (25), who can see into the minds of people across this galaxy, who can use his powers to force people to do his will (26), who clearly has some ability to control The Force to do Jedi-like things (27), who specifically says he can see into the mind of Kylo Ren and has been controlling him through time and space for most of Kylo’s life – yes that guy can be dispatched with an old parlor trick that’s been played out in movies decades ago? So just to be clear, omnipotent, mind-controlling, Supreme Leader Snoke who is currently looking into Kylo Ren’s mind ends up getting killed when Kylo does the old ‘pay no attention to what this hand is doing trick?’ Wouldn’t David Copperfield have been a better choice here? Oh, but it’s all OK because remember nothing from the past matters in TLJ. Actually you don’t even have to exercise your mind to remember that truism because Kylo (now Ben, call me ‘Ben,’ dammit) conveniently reminds us to ‘throw it all away’ (28) when it comes to anything related to the past. “It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter. Blah, Blah, Blah.” The bottom line is that, with a little imagination, Snoke was a potentially great villain who could have powered the dark side of the Star Wars franchise for years to come. And now? Not. (29). Instead it’s clear that this director couldn’t wait to get rid of Snoke so that he could move forward his Kylo-Ren-Is-Now-Ben-Solo-But-Still-The-Same-Evil-Dude storyline along.
That ‘Misunderstanding’ with the Lightsaber between Luke and Kylo. Luke — “What? Is this thing on? Oh don’t mind this.” Where’s the button? Where’s the button? How in the hell do you turn this thing off? “No, it’s not like that, Kylo. I wasn’t about to kill you in your sleep. Wait. I can’t explain. Nooooo.” (30)
So Many Wasted Opportunities. No need to rehash them all. The biggest one is this – and it’s one that I think could actually have saved TLJ had it played out as it should have — when Kylo/Ben asks Rey to join him, how about instead of yet another rehashing of an already played out numerous times “Join Me” scene, Rey actually takes Kylo’s hand and joins him? Any number of NEW storylines could have emerged from there (31 – if you read only 1 footnote it should be this one – haha). Instead we’re supposed to be satisfied with the same old thing – Ben becomes the new supreme leader and his generation will battle against Rey and the next generation of rebels using the same tired story line from the past. Nothing new. Originality is apparently dead.
The Destruction of Luke’s Once Cool, Now Woefully Bad Joke Telling Character – And so we come to Luke. I think this is probably the reason I dislike TLJ so much. I honestly feel bad for Mark Hamill – he got a raw deal in TLJ and had to play a part that, as an actor, he didn’t buy in to (32). At least he got paid for his efforts and can move on with his life. But what about Luke Skywalker? He goes from being one of the all-time heroes of the entire franchise, to near god-like status at the end of TFA, only to end up as a grumpy old man intent on destroying everything he worked for in life, and the entire Jedi legacy he was a part of – yet he can’t even do that right and ultimately needs Yoda’s help there too (see Good Reason #1 below). TLJ turned Luke’s beloved character into a worthless pile of banta poo and tried to get us to turn against him, to ‘throw him away’ so to speak, so that we could move on with the new generation of Rey and the gang. But it was all so unnecessary. I don’t want to dislike Luke, or think less of him for his disillusionment about the Jedi, or his refusal to help Rey & the Rebellion. Why can’t we still have Luke as a hero. Why did TLJ turn Luke into little more than joke-telling fool? It was too much. I refuse to accept it. Mercifully Luke is killed off in TLJ so he at least doesn’t have to deal with this director any more.
TLJ has no soul – TFA did so much to not just restore the franchise to greatness, but also to tease the fans with more breadcrumbs of future possibilities that we didn’t know what to do with ourselves. While I never had the time or inclination to engage in all the reddit boards about who Rey’s parents were, where Snoke came from, etc I respected those who did and was happy to see fan interest in the brand back to rabid levels again. The point is that TFA gave us excitement again — it tossed a bunch of softballs to TLJ and set up TLJ for success – all TLJ had to do was swing the bat and it couldn’t help but hit a homerun off of any one of these balls. Only TLJ never swung. It was as if the writer/director of TLJ (33) never saw any of the prior films (and certainly not TFA) and instead had a friend just give him the Cliff Notes version of the Star Wars story – but then not even half way into the tale, W/D apparently said “I got it, I got it.” However once he started writing the script, his friend surely must have reminded him, “But what about X?” and “Remember we need to talk about Y.” But W/D just replied, “I don’t give a flying X@#X care about X, Y, or Z! I’m going to do Star Wars MY way.” And when his friend reminded him that the fans DO care about X, Y, and Z, W/D vowed to throw it back in our faces — and thus the Kylo Ren “throw is away” speech was born — and the soul of the franchise was destroyed in the process.

OK, I said my piece. That felt good. At least I got those things off my chest. Now I can let it go and move on. Now we can look for the lesson in all this. We can look for something good. Some form of wisdom. Thankfully there IS something from TLJ that is good.

1 Reason Why TLJ is NOT the Worst Star Wars Movie

Yoda’s Wisdom – TLJ at least did Yoda right (all things considered). We got a classic version of the character and he spouted more wisdom is about 2 minutes than could be found in the rest of TLJ combined. There is a specific piece of wisdom that, although certainly cliche, is still great. And I can already tell you that it will become a corporate/inspirational quote meme/poster/vid clip for as long as the Star Wars franchise captures our pysches. What is that quote? It’s about Failure. When Luke is at his lowest point in the movie – having failed Kylo/Ben long ago and having failed Rey now, Luke is ready to burn the sacred Jedi Tree/Temple and all the Jedi ‘bibles’ inside. Yet even then he can’t do it. So (shockingly) Yoda does it for him (34). Yoda then goes on to give Luke this wisdom.

“Heeded my words not, did you? Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is. Luke, we are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.”

I love Yoda so much that, with a bit of effort, you could probably convince me that TLJ wasn’t all bad. It certainly wasn’t a great movie and, so long as I am alive, I’m 100% certain to watch the next installment of the franchise. I’m sure you are too. That’s the thing about Star Wars – no matter how bad they are, we’ll always hold out hope that the one will be better.

Heck, I might even go back and watch TLJ again. I’ve thought of the perfect way for me to get through another sitting…

What do you think? Want to watch it with me again?

Mike’s Notes

Episode 1 — Phantom Menace was the former bearer of this crown before TLJ.
Since, despite all the mystery capital built up by TFA about Rey’s backstory, we find out in TLJ that there’s really nothing to know about Rey – her parents ‘were nobodies’ and she ‘comes from nothing.’ Thanks for playing. Nothing to see here, folks, just move along.
Except to say that it’s obviously an insider conspiracy to prop up the film and get more people to go see it.
And thus the rest of the article will make sense to you.
In which case you can stop reading now and save yourself the headache. For that matter, why did you bother even reading this note?
Other than the total destruction of Luke as a cool character.
OK, I’m not gonna lie, I can’t think of any redeeming qualities for Jar-Jar Binks. I hated the Jar-Jar character with a passion. He has only 1 good quality — in the Star Wars Complete Saga video game, Jar-Jar’s character can jump really high – that’s the only thing I’ve ever liked about him – and ‘like’ is actually a strong word to use there — otherwise, I can’t stand the meesa-whoosa-whatsa dude.
It’s like when Jerry lamented that Tim Watley converted to Judaism just to get the jokes!
I can’t think of any right now but I’m sure I may have chuckled a time or two.
It’s come to my attention that both this Luke-Rey example was first pointed out by BGR’s Mike Wehner. Kudo’s to him for beating me to the punch – guess I waited too long to see the movie! 🙂
Mind you this is a pretty historic lightsaber — it tracks back to his father Anakin, Obi-Wan kept it hidden/safe for nearly two decades before handing it off to Luke, Luke did his Jedi training with it, and carries quite a bit of Jedi lore around it. Although as an interesting side note pointed out by my son – in RotJ Luke used his new GREEN Jedi-Master Lightsaber, yet this was his original BLUE (Anakin) saber – so what happened to the GREEN one?
I improvised here, the actual quote is “Oh, you will be, you will be” during a conversation with Luke in ESB when Luke says he is not afraid.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Death_of_the_Ball_Turret_Gunner
I’m convinced the only real purpose of this part was to have a method for the director to offer his friends a forum for their cameos.
Actually I only saw the first Fast & Furious but it seemed like a good line to use here. OMG, am I falling victim to the need to be funny like TLJ director? Is this a virus? Did I contract it when I saw the film? Please, someone, help me! I fear I can’t control it, it’s taking over. Noooooo!
It was as if the writer forgot about Finn during the first draft and when someone reminded him of it, he said “Don’t worry, we’ll have something for Finn” — and so was born the casino storyline. Can anyone say Pod Races? Who wants the Pod Races again? (ref TPM)
Which are supposed to be funny but are so bad they barely forced a few chuckles. I kept wondering when the guys at MST3000 would show up to save this movie.
And hey it wasn’t as bad as Liam Neeson trying to explain the Midichlorians to a starry eyed 6 year old who had no clue what he was talking about (TPM). I guess that means TLJ gets 1 win – woo hoo, let’s celebrate!
Perhaps this was God’s way of showing mercy to his suffering people?
I’ll even admit that I believe the world probably be better off if women ran it (it certainly couldn’t be much worse) and NO this is not a Trump-bashing thing (give the man a chance already). It’s just a fact that sometimes too much testosterone leads to too many egos with too many misunderstandings. I’m as guilty as the next guy.
Am I being hypocritical here and complaining because this was a missed opportunity for diversity? Actually no. Because in the case of Finn and Rey it would have been a NATURAL progression of the plot – it wouldn’t have been forced like the rest of TLJ’s fake diversity.
Much like Galadriel of LOTR.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved those old Star Treks, but I wasn’t expecting to see such a low budget set on the latest and greatest Star Wars movie.
We don’t know much about Snoke. There was a fan-theory on about Snoke potentially being Mace Windu – that would have been a very interesting development. Well pretty much anything would have been more interesting than what we actually got!
As we were led to believe in TFA Snoke and his First Order rose to power in the vacuum created after the destruction of Palpatine and his Empire at the end of 6-RotJ.
Among other things Snoke claims to have orchestrated events that led to Luke’s mistreatment of Kylo and Kylo bringing Rey to him.
Such as hold Rey up in the air, throw her all around, and play with her like a puppet.
Much like Professor Keating warned up about J. Evans Prichards, PhD’s work in Dead Poet’s Society.
Another Seinfeld reference? Mike, you are such a hack. Sorry. It just fits. In this case we’re left to feel like George Costanza in The Foundation episode when he discovers his dead fiance’s vast wealth that would have been his. And now? Not.
Any takers for my version being better than the actual scene in TLJ?
Ky-Rey could have become the latest craze. Ky-Rey could have been a good power couple battling against Snoke (oops, that’s right the director killed him, sorry) or a new series of villains (similar to what Marvel is doing with The Avengers). Or Ky-Rey could have been an evil couple and battled against Poe and the rebel crew (sure it would have taken a bit of clever script-writing but you know people DO get paid for that sort of thing). And if we aren’t going to get a love interest between Rey and Fine then we could have had a lot of play with a potential on-again, off-again love interest between Ky-Rey. We do need something to replace the chemistry between Han and Leia that now seems like ancient history (but which actually came back to us in TFA). And now? Not.
Numerous media reports have emerged that Mark Hamill did not support the writer’s vision for Luke in TLJ. He is specifically quoted as saying “‘I pretty much fundamentally disagree with every choice you’ve made for this character. Now, having said that, I have gotten it off my chest, and my job now is to take what you’ve created and do my best to realize YOUR vision.’”
Who shall remain unnamed since he doesn’t deserve to be mentioned with the Star Wars franchise.
Well it’s not all that shocking since TLJ specifically said over and over and over that it wanted to destroy all things ‘past.’
There actually isn’t a 35th reference. Are you still reading this? Wow, you are a true fan and I appreciate your engagement – be sure to follow my blog and let’s keep in touch.

Health and Fitness, Kamado Joe, Product Reviews, Productivity and Planning, Recommended Fitness Products

2018 Resources – The Essential Guide to Awesomeness

January 1, 2018 ThatHelpfulDad 1 Comment

2018 Resources – A Summary:

Hi, I’m Mike, better known as That Helpful Dad. One of my Legacy Life goals is to help people live a better life — I do this by sharing practical tips, life lessons, honest product reviews, and action-oriented wisdom that you can use today to live your best life NOW. No BS, just real-world solutions that I can personally verify work. Each year I publish a list of ‘tools’ that I believe can help my readers live a better life.

These are 2018 Resources that make my life easier – or as I like to call them, “The Essential Guide to Awesomeness!”

Inside this document, you’ll see the products, apps, websites, etc that I personally use to make my life awesome. These are not necessarily new products, they are simply the tools that I used consistently the most in the past year AND which have improved my life. I want to share them with you because the mission of this site is to “Be…Helpful” and what better way to fulfill that mission than to help YOU, my reader, be even more awesome than you already are?

2018 Resources – WHO is This Guide Best-Suited for?

While I hope that The 2018 Essential Guide to Awesomeness is helpful to all my readers, realistically the type of reader who will get the most out of this guide is someone who is fairly similar to myself — The 35-55ish Family Man who has a “worker bee” job and is always on the lookout for tips on how to live a healthier life, be more productive at work/home, likes ‘trusted’ reviews, wants to be a better cook than his neighbors, and would benefit from de-stressing a bit. If that sounds like YOU, then you’ll love this guide.

2018 Resources – (I) Career and Kaizen

Kaizen is a Japanese term for ‘continuous improvement’ or constant improvement towards perfection. I first heard of it 20+ years ago and have long made it a mantra for all aspects of my life. For today let’s just focus on the self-improvement as relates to the career and ‘mental game.’

1.SMART Morning Routine(lifestyle recommendation)
My productivity and focus have gone thru the roof after learning about The Am Ritual from Tim Ferris’s book “The Tools of Titans.” I created a separate article about this topic because it’s that important – I call my version “The Working Man’s SMART Morning Routine.”

You can read that post if you want to know more but here’s a quick summary: starting the day with 15-30 minutes of alone time that focuses on ‘priming’ your body, mind, and soul with a series of breathing exercises, wisdom contemplation (from external sources) and wisdom release (from inside you).

HD’s Pro Tip: Do the Morning Routine consistently and watch your productivity skyrocket.

2. Tools of Titans book
I happened to see a post from Tim Ferris on LinkedIn one day and he was offering this book on Kindle for $4. Having read the 4-Hour Workweek I was already a fan so I bit on the $4 book and I’m glad I did.

Click to pic to see this book on Amazon….

I kid you not when I say that I’ve gleaned no less than 100+ actionable tips from this book! It’s amazing. Talk about the ROI on my $4!

I also got introduced to his podcast and then gained even more useful wisdom from other people that he interviewed. If there was one current book I would recommend for productivity (on work, life, and beyond) it would be this one – read it today!

HD’s Pro Tip: get the kindle version – here’s why, if you highlight things to remember or add notes, you can then export the notes from the Kindle app and have them already available for followup in one place. BTW that’s a tip from this book – haha.

HD’s Pro Tip2: I use the Castbox app on android to listen to Tim’s podcast – it’s a great podcast app, it’s free, and it has lots of variety. Disclaimer: I’m actually a bit new to podcasting so there could be a better app. If there is let me know. But for now Castbox works for me.

3. Steal This Look: Blue Blazer, White Button-Down Shirt, Jeans, and Brown Shoes
I first saw it at a business conference when one of the execs wore it on stage and he stole the show. Later I found that multiple other friends of mine were also impressed with this look. When I got back home I quickly rushed out and updated my wardrobe.

It’s my new favorite business casual attire – it makes me feel great and I enjoy it – and you know as well as I when you feel good about yourself you perform at a higher level. Give it a try and see if it works for you too.

Substitute khakis or slacks if you wanna dress it up, but the bottom line is this look rocks and I get lots of compliments when I where it.

Disclaimer – sadly, the model in the pic ain’t me – but I feel like him when I wear this look! Haha.

4. LinkedIn (website)
I’m a long-time user of LinkedIn and it makes the list again this year.

As someone who prides himself on being a good ‘relationship builder’ I actively work to be a ‘people connector.’ I’d love to connect with you too – perhaps we can help each other or at the very least offer an additional path for us to mutually expand our networks.

Be sure connect with me on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-stoppa-mba-27561428/

4. BibleStudyTools.com (website)
I read The Bible every day. For me, it’s a great source of wisdom and wisdom = kaizen in my book. Although I’ve read the entire book many times over, for the purposes of this discussion (seeking wisdom) I specifically read 1 column from Proverbs (Solomon’s Wisdom) and 1 chapter from one of The Gospels (Wisdom from Jesus).

It takes just a few minutes in the morning to complete this (as part of my “AM Routine“) and the results are immediate – I get my mind working in the right direction right from the start.

Although the print version is great, I like this website because it’s well organized, easy to navigate, has numerous versions (I like NIV the best) and I can access it anywhere.

5. Typing.com (website)
If you need help improving your typing this website is free and really effective. We started my 8-year old son Jax on this at the beginning of 2017 (while he was in 2nd grade) and he’s taken to typing like a fish to water.

Typing.com offers free typing lessons from beginner to advanced and it keeps track of his progress. Jax’s typing has really improved and it’s paying dividends for him at school now too. We really feel that by using this website, we’re setting Jax up for success and making things easier for him for years to come.

6. Lichess (chess app)
I consider chess a form of Kaizen self-improvement and Lichess is a FREE, open source chess app. It’s a nice little option for passing the time playing chess against a pretty good PC or an online friend. There are no ads and it’s very reliable.

HD’s Pro Tip: combo this with the free chess learning apps from Chess King (including Opening Lab, Middlegame, Mating, Opening Blunders, and more) and you’ll really up your game.

2018 Resources – (II) Health and Fitness

OK, we’ve got the career and self-improvement covered, now let’s turn to the body. I don’t think I’ve gotta tell you how much it sucks to get older, right? Once you pass 40 it’s no picnic, BUT that doesn’t mean we just have to give up! As always, I’ve got a few helpful tips to share here too – starting with what may well be my most awesome tip of all…

1. Intermittent Fasting.
My life has changed for the better as a result of Intermittent Fasting. If you don’t know what it is, Intermittent Fasting (as I’m talking about it) is basically not eating for 14 hours (for women) or 16 hours (for men) and then consuming all your calories in the remaining 8-10 hour window. I realize that may sound harsh – and in the beginning, I thought ‘no way’ – but I’m here to tell you that I over a 3-month experiment I learned that Intermittent Fasting has been surprisingly easy and it gives me lots of energy. That said, it’s not a magic cure-all and there are a few important tips to keep in mind if you want to try it.

I wrote an article for The Ascent Magazine about Intermittent Fasting — it details my experience with Intermittent Fasting and shares what I learned to help you get the most out of it if you decide to try this lifestyle change.

BTW, I still practice Intermittent Fasting almost every day.

2. Apple Cider Vinegar WITH “The Mother” + EVOO Shot/Day
For most of my life I’ve had tummy troubles. Partly due to a hiatal hernia, partly genetics, and probably also because I eat a lot of spicy foods. When I was a kid, my dad, grandpop, and grandmom all used to drink a shot of vinegar each day. They also all consumed a lot of olive oil. If you haven’t guessed yet I grew up in an Italian-heritage family. I toyed with both of these things off/on over the years but this past year I made a concerted effort to drink a combo shot (1oz) of ACV + EVOO.

I chose to do the ‘raw’ ACV with the mother for the (perceived or real) extra health benefits. I’m not here to tell you that a sample size of 1 (aka me) and a short-term (1 year) experiment should make you run out and do the same thing as me, but what I can tell you is that ACV + EVOO really did help me reduce much of my tummy troubles this year. It worked for me, it’s easy to do, and I plan to continue.

3. New Balance’s Vazee Rush Sneaker (product)
These sneakers are more like slippers – they are super light, really comfortable, and when you were them you feel like you are walking on the clouds. When I put them on I can walk for days. Add in a cool color like royal blue (but without a lot of the extraneous threads, plastic, and other junk that most shoes seem to carry now – I’m looking at you, Nike!) and you have a winner.

HD’s Pro Tip: I got mine from a New Balance Factory Outlet for about $50, but if you want to get them from Amazon here’s a direct link…
New Balance Men’s Vazee Rush V2 Running Shoe, Thunder/Alpha Orange, 11.5 D US

4. The Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler (product)

This is about $25. We considered multiple steam inhalers including MyPurMist, Mabis, Vicks, and more. Our goal was to get a personal steam inhaler that was easy to use, easy to clean, and put out a good amount of steam to help with allergies for our family. We purchased multiple steamers to compare them.

In the end the MABIS was the SUPERIOR product. It really does put out some good steam and I have noticed a difference with my allergies when I do a standard 6-10 minute treatment. You can also easily use aromatherapy options in the convenient reservoir for this purpose and it really does work (I like to add eucalyptus oil). It’s also really easy to clean. The other steamers did not put out near the steam the Mabis does. I found the best price on Amazon…
MABIS Personal Steam Inhaler Steam Vaporizer – Aromatherapy Diffuser

2018 Resources – (III) Stress Relievers

Life is not all go-go-go. It’s important to slow it down too. On that note, here are some awesome tools I use to take a break from the world. Granted, you might laugh at a couple of these (Bed of Nails? Face Masks?) but don’t knock it till you try it. The truly wise are willing to experiment even if it makes them ‘look’ silly to outsiders. Slap on a face mask, lay on your bed of nails, and let the world laugh – while you recharge your batteries for even greater awesomeness!

1. A Bed of Nails (product)
This product goes by many names but it’s basically an acupressure mat. Lay on this thing (skin to mat) and you’ll experience a gamut of sensations.

Is there pain? Yes. It hurts — especially if you lay on the mat without a shirt and with a hard floor underneath – but seriously if you are gonna do it you gotta go ‘all in’ if you wanna get the highest ROI.

The good news? Get through the first 5 minutes and you’ll be over the hump – on the way to a state of bliss. After 20-30 minutes, you’ll reach a state of ‘gelatinous euphoria’ where the cares of the world melt away. I love my mat so much I have a small travel size I take with me.

HD’s Pro Tip: Combo this with your favorite meditation and it’s an out of body experience.

I use one called Spoonk but there are tons of others. Check out this Amazon Page for ideas: Bed of Nails

2. Specialty Teas (product)
I discovered the world of ‘teas with a purpose’ this year at Sprouts and I can’t believe it took me so long to find them! Teas like Belly Comfort, Serene Slumber, Liver Detox, and more are my favorites. There’s even one for Gas Relief and would you believe it really works?!? I now drink 2-4 cups of tea a day with a specific purpose in mind (starting the day/energy, post-meal, stress relief, bedtime, etc). Even when I travel I take a few with me.

My current favorite brands are Traditional Medicinals and Lifestyle Awareness — they are affordable, have a lot of blends that work for me, and are easy to find where I shop.

3. Balance in Me website
This meditation website is a godsend. First off it’s free and it gives you access to countless meditations, affirmations, and more. They range from a few minutes to 1+ hours. Put on a pair of headphones, lay on your Bed of Nails, and open your mind – the stress just melts away. I’m a big fan of the affirmations and there are more meditation ‘journeys’ on this website than I can count – not everyone is great – it depends on the facilitator but I’ve found a couple I really like and they sincerely do help me.

Honorable mention to meditation apps by Stop, Breathe, and Think (my son Jax loves this app for the ‘sticker rewards’ he earns by meditating), and Excel at Life (in addition to some great ‘journey’ meditations, they have a suite of ‘assistance’ meditation apps for those struggling with panic, depression, and more).

4. Track Yoga (app)
This FREE yoga app is incredible too. I’ve taken 80 classes on this app this year and I’ve learned so much about yoga – not to mention the health benefits of using it.

What I like about it is that you can see a real person doing the exercises and the facilitator’s voice gives you lots of really helpful tips to make sure you are doing the positions correctly.

5. Tony Moly Face Masks (product)
Put in a request to take away my Man Card if you want and feel free to make fun of me, but I’m not afraid to admit that I love using these hydrating face masks.

While these are not new to women in the US, I first discovered them on a trip to South Korea a few years ago. My wife and I were shocked as to how all the people in SK were so amazingly beautiful (particularly their skin was so smooth).

While staying in the Myeondong area of Seoul we discovered a bunch beauty shops and these masks were probably the most prevalent thing we saw. Every shop seemed to have its own version. We tried a bunch of them – but I kept coming back to the Tony Moly “Pureness” (full face) masks. They seemed the best made (in terms of the mask itself), easiest to use (getting the folded mask open and on my face), and most importantly made my face feel the best. On our most recent trip to SK we brought back half a suitcase full of these masks (at 50cents each you would too!).

My favorite TM Masks are the Hydrating and Collagen masks.

HD’s Pro Tip: put on a mask, lay on your bed of nails, do a guided meditation, and reach a higher plane of existence – Ahhhhhhh).

Here’s a link to an example on Amazon:
Pureness 100 Mask Sheet 21ml No.1 Hyaluronic acid

You can also find lots of other choices if you search “TonyMoly” on Amazon or Google.

Seriously, did I just give you a tip about men using Korean Ladies Beauty Masks – yup – and if you give it a try you’ll thank me (even if you keep it a secret from your friends).

6. Prisma (app)

Another free app and this one is very cool if you like enhancing your pictures. It can do a nice job of ‘saving’ your mobile phone pics and making them a bit more viewable. I’m putting this under “Stress Relievers” because I love photography and when I work with pictures it’s a great ‘mindfulness’ tool to help me forget about the cares of life.

There is a bit of a learning curve with Prisma (mainly because there are just so many filters you can use and it takes a while to find the ones you like), but once you figure it out, it’s addictive and productive. You can make some really cool artwork with this! Check out my son JeeHo (AKA “Batman”) on the beach at Captiva, FL…

2018 Resources – (IV) Cooking and Food

1. Kamado Joe (Outdoor Grill)

I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve my cooking. My friends in the neighborhood joke about this because they claim that I rely more on technology than cooking ‘heart’ – ouch! Whether that’s true or not I can’t say, but I will admit that if there is a cooking gadget that I think can up my game, I’ll give it a try.

For years I’d heard about the Big Green Egg but was averse to try because of the perceived learning curve and the expense of the product. But I did my research and finally took the plunge this year and I’m kicking myself that it took me so long!

There is a difference in the flavor of the food when you cook over lump charcoal/wood. Can’t deny it, no disputing it. That said, there IS a learning curve (I’m still learning!) and it IS expensive ($600-1000 will get you started depending on what brand you buy and how big you go).

I chose the Kamada Joe Classic II (KJ) over the BGE or other options because of the KJ’s reputation, highly useful accessories it comes with, and because it just ‘felt right’ when I got my hands on it. Most of my friends have BGE’s but I can tell you that my KJ is more functional than theirs – aka I can do more with it because of its design – this is mainly because the KJ comes with an internal cooking rack system called “The Divide and Conquer” which allows you to cook BOTH direct and indirect at the same time, on varying levels. BGE’s system is either direct OR indirect but not both – unless you do modifications (aka buying the D&C system). KJ also has numerous other useful accessories specifically designed for it.

How’s the food on the KJ? Pizza – awesome. Chicken Wings – best ever. Fish – moist and tender. Steaks – out of this world flavor.

HD Pro Tip: Try a Ribeye Cap Steak on the KJ and you’ll thank me when you’re family says ‘best steak ever!”). The variety of what you can do (from cold smokes to 800-degree heat) just can’t be beaten with any other cooking appliance I know.

Sadly I also have an expensive, built-in Cal-Flame gas grill (when I put in a patio bar a few years ago) — unfortuantely, because of the addition of the KJ I rarely use my beautiful grill for anything but making bacon (yes I turned a $4k grill into a giant griddle, and no that ROI on that wasn’t so great!) or for ‘must-be-quick’ cooks (because the one downside of the KJ, like all kamado’s is that it takes time to get it ready to cook – figure an hour to get heated, etc). The good news is that I rarely have to clean my gas grill (always a pain) and even better the KJ (like most kamado’s) is pretty much self-cleaning (oh yeah!).

HD’s Pro Tip2: The kamado table you see in the pic was an aftermarket unit from Etsy. I searched far and wide for something that would work. I considered chopping up my built-in patio bar and replacing either my Cal-Flame grill or removing the sink (I rarely use it) and putting in the KJ, but ultimately I wanted the KJ to be farther away from the action – there IS smoke when you cook with a kamado and it needs space. So I got this beautiful cedar cart which has wheels (and a cover for everything) and it sits in a nice location overlooking our conservation area. I couldn’t be happier! For more on the table check out RusticWoodWorx on Etsy -they were a pleasure to deal with.

HD’s Pro Tip3: not every brand of lump charcoal is created equal. Some of them are made with woods like hickory or mesquite that are so strong they don’t go with a wide variety of foods. I’ve tried a few brands so far and right now I still prefer the KJ “Big Block” XL Lump Charcoal bag – the pieces are huge so they can burn a long time and the flavor is on the mild side because of the combo of woods used.

If you want to know more about Kamado Joe, here’s a link for Amazon…

2. Little Griddle (Outdoor Kitchen Product)
This is the product that turned my expensive gas grill into a giant griddle. It’s amazing. It works. It’s easy to clean. And I use it all the time.

Why did I buy it? My family lives in Florida and we use our outdoor kitchen quite a bit. Even though my Cal-Flame came with a griddle attachment to replace 2 of the 4 grates, I’ve never been satisfied with it – mainly because all the griddle drippings fall down onto my burners and create flare-ups and a big mess. In addition, the grill griddle is small and I wanted something larger.

When I first saw the Little Griddle series I was originally looking at the Sizzle Q (SQ180), but thankfully I saw the LG website and discovered the GQ230 and I’m glad I did – the GQ230 is the size that I really wanted because it covers about 24 inches (which is 3 of my 4 grates), whereas the SQ180 only covers 18 inches and the GQ120 only 13. I got the largest size because I wanted to be able to cook for friends and family – that being said, it’s not like the GQ230 is giant and I’d venture to say it would fit most full size grills. Measure your grill and I’ll bet you’ll see this will be the right size for you. Here’s the link for Amazon…

Little Griddle offers Versatility – this will allow you to do so much more with your grill than before. So far I’ve made cheesesteaks, bacon/eggs/potatoes, fried pineapple, Korean chicken, and Cajun chicken. These are items that most people can’t do on a regular grill.

Little Griddle offers Easy Cleanup! Compared to the Cal Flame griddle attachment the Little Griddle is so much easier to clean – just sear/wipe/clean the griddle itself while the grill below stays clean!

Bonus: Little Griddle also makes a griddle for your Kamado too.

3. Some great food items you might be overlooking…
I discovered the Mezzetta Brand this year and I’m glad I did (try to the Cherry Tomato Pizza Sauce for your KJ Pizza’s, the Spicy Marinara is my favorite jar pasta sauce [I know that’s heresy for an Italian to say but it’s great in a pinch], and both their Jalapeno-stuffed olives and Pepperocini are best in class in my book). I found them all at Sprouts.

Maldon Sea Salt is phenomenal: big flakes = big flavor.

Dave’s Killer Bread is pure quality and great taste. I like the Good Seed – Thin Sliced Version. It’s available a lots of grocery stores now.

Pacific Foods Bone Broth is an affordable way to get in on the bone broth phenomena (I like the Turkey & Sage flavor best). I’ve been buying it on Amazon for about $2 a container – they often have a coupon too. Check out this link for more info…

Sprout’s Smoked Bacon from the deli section is my family’s new #1 choice for bacon – thick slices that cook evenly (especially on your Little Griddle) and have fantastic flavor. Costco’s Meat Dept is surprisingly good – they have a great selection of seafood (including Ahi Tuna) and they also have USDA Prime and Choice options (get that USDA Prime Ribeye Cap Steak I told you about in the KJ section and you’ll forever thank me).

Juicy Gems Pomegranate Seeds are a super tasty snack – for $2-3 you can get a little jar that lasts a week.

And 4Earth Farms make a really good package of precooked edamame (HD’s Pro Tip: throw these in a pot with some fresh minced garlic, fresh minced ginger, sesame oil, a dash of soy sauce, and a dot of Sirachi and you’ve got a killer appetizer).

BTW If you haven’t discovered Sprouts you are missing out. I’ve long-time been a Whole Foods advocate and that further increased when Amazon bought the brand. I still believe WF has the best seafood, cheese, and a superior selection of packaged goods, and we also still love WF’s hot bar, but I have to admit that Sprouts has better produce (especially organics) at a better price. I’ve particularly enjoyed Sprouts Organic bananas, avocados, blueberries, raspberries, and fresh spinach – there really is a difference in the taste!

4. Three Great Thermometers you need to know about (products)
Let’s end this section a ‘hot’ note – or at least be able to check the temp with a few great thermometers.

First the ThermoPro TP20 Wireless Remote Digital Cooking Food Meat Thermometer with Dual Probe for Smoker Grill BBQ Thermometer.

I use this specifically when I am cooking on my Kamado and doing a longer cook where I want to monitor what’s going on but not always have to be sitting right there AND when I don’t want to keep opening/closing the kamado (which you want to avoid if you want to keep the temp controlled inside – and, ah, as I’ve learned that’s kind of important!).
The TP20 lets me sit inside the house or at the patio bar and monitor what’s happening in the meat inside the kamado. Drinking a beer and cooking ribs? I’ll take that option any day.
HD’s Pro Tip: this model gives you two temp probes, multiple presets, and has a pretty good range – it costs about $60.

Next is the ThermoPro TP03A “Pen” Thermometer. It’s always a challenge to find a good ‘instant’ read thermometer but this one is both accurate, affordable, and easy to use. It’s about $10 on Amazon and blows away the options from the big box kitchen and hardware stores.

Finally, an odd little unit that is actually really useful. It’s the Etekcity Lasergrip Infrared Thermometer Temperature “Gun”. For around $13 this is another really good product.

It’s extremely easy to use (just point and shoot) and it does a fine job of providing helpful info about SURFACE temps.
HD’s Pro Tip: I used the Etekcity one a lot for checking the temp on my Little Griddle (you’d be surprised how hot the griddle surface itself can get vs the temp measured by the grill hood – for example, I’ve seen the grill hood register 250ish while the griddle was over 400 – this info is much needed when cooking so you don’t burn).
HD’s Pro Tip2: Another great usage is to check air temp coming out of the AC vents.

2018 Resources – (V) Apps and Tech

1-Daylio (Life Journal App/Free)
This is a mobile app that I use for tracking my daily activities. It’s easy to use, it’s free, and you can modify the activities to fit your needs. It allows me to rate how I felt each day (awesome, good, average, not good, awful) AND it lets me get granular with specific activities. Daylio is easy/quick to use and it provides an efficient way for me to keep an on-the-go de-facto daily journal about life. Add to that the fact that you can also include free text notes for each day (if you want to) and now you’re talking. To read more about Daylio, see the feature article I wrote about it in The Startup Magazine.

2-Google Apps (Supercharge your Productivity)
Everyone who knows me knows that I am an “Android > Apple” type of guy. First off, I invested in Google at $85/share and have never sold it (I just wish I bought more back then!) – but the point is that I invested in Google because I use their products and they improve my life (especially my productivity).

Why do I love Google products? Because they just make sense to me and because most of them allow me the ability to do some level of customization to make them further fit my needs (unlike Apple which frustratingly is more of an ‘as is and that’s all there is’ system). I want to share with you HOW I use them so that you can benefit from them too.

Besides GMAIL (which goes without saying) and Maps (which I still prefer over Waze), there are a few more Google apps that I use every day and they are all FREE — these include Keep, Drive, Online Office Suite, Calendar, Launcher, and of course Google Photos. This combo of apps supercharges my productivity. Additionally, because I use Google for pretty much everything, all my stuff is connected to my various mobiles and laptops so I can access it anywhere.

2a. Google Keep
I use Google Keep to create a series of ‘to do’ lists and use the Keep widget on my Android Phone (Pixel XL) to show them on various home pages of my phone so that I have them ‘always up’ and thus always on my mind.

HD’s Pro tip: I use the ‘checkbox’ feature of Google Keep to make them “action items” and they are easy to remove from view once complete).

I find that Keep is a simpler version of Google Tasks or other apps like Wanderlist. I don’t need a lot of complication. I just need to SEE the tasks so I can be reminded to DO them.

To read more about Google Keep here’s a more detailed article – which includes a tip about how to use Google Keep as an awesome Speech-To-Text tool.

2b – Google Office Suite
These apps act as a free replacement for Microsoft Office. No offense to Microsoft (I like that brand too) and I’ve used M-Office for years but I got tired of paying for upgrades and/or new versions whenever I got a new computer. For years I didn’t have a choice because, let’s face it, M-Office was the King of the Hill and no other office related products compared. BUT, Google changed the game – Google’s Office Suite (especially Docs, Sheets, and Slides) is a very real replacement for M-Office’s Word, Excel, and Powerpoint.

First off, G-Suite’s versions are all compatible with M-Office’s so you can read/create/modify back and forth.
Secondly, G-Suite’s versions are FREE.
Third, G-Suite’s versions are auto-updated by Google so you always have the latest and best version.
Fourth, you can easily share G-Suites files with co-workers so they can work on the same doc as you to power up efficiency.
And fifth, combo G-Suites with your use of Google Drive and you have a system that allows you to have ‘always-access’ to all your files. (HD’s Pro Tip: you can even make them available ‘offline’ if you’ll be in an area without connectivity).

2c. Google Drive
I use Google Drive store all my stuff – not just my G-Suite files but EVERYTHING on all my computers, phones, etc. Google Drive (via Google Backup) now even connects to my laptop hard drive to allow me to work on my laptop files from anywhere too. It’s easy to share files with family/friends as needed (and know when they access it). It’s easy to organize things.

And storage is free up to 15 GB. With additional storage at very reasonable rates (100 GB for $2/mo or 1TB for $10/mo).

Am I worried about Big Brother watching me, hacks, etc? Shockingly (for someone who counts Orwell’s 1984 book on my Top 10 All-Time Best Books list) I am not. Perhaps I should be but I’ve accepted the loss of privacy from at least the big players like Google, Facebook, and Amazon as a necessary cost of doing life in today’s world and, for me, the benefits I derive from using their products to the fullest outweigh the perceived risks (at least for now).

2d. Google Calendar
I use the Google Calendar mainly because the android widget is great — I can see my calendar (I like the month view) on my phone WITHOUT having to open the app (I’m calling you out, Apple!) and that little step makes the calendar so much more valuable to me.

Additionally, the benefit of the Google Calendar is that it is already connected to my Gmail and my Launcher so I’m also reminded on both of these other apps of important calendar events.

HD’s Pro Tip: the reminders on the Launcher are especially great for airline flights and hotel reservations – I can see the specifics of my reservation, flight number, gate, location, directions, etc — all on my Google Launcher automatically – without needing to search for them).

2e. Google Phone Launcher
I use the Google Launcher as my primary phone interface – its connectivity with the rest of my G-suite items makes it uber-useful and the assistant is really functional. I was first introduced to it when I was a member of Google Fi (phone service) and I loved it. Later when I got the newest galaxy phone I tried the latest Samsung interface (Bixby) but was sorely disappointed. Google Launcher is simply superior in terms of functionality, ease of use, and usefulness.

2f. Google Photos
I use Google Photos as the one-stop shop for automatically storing all my photos (both from my phone and computer). It also allows me to easily share pics with my wife and friends via customizable shared albums. The search function is just ok but it does help to find older pics and it does a good job of recognizing faces (even pets!). Plus Google Photos has some nice filters (their B&W options are particularly good).

HD’s Pro Tip: the Google Photo Assistant is pretty awesome too – not only does it automatically make some cool animated pics, collages, and movies, but it also lets you quickly produce some great little movies (combo’s of pics and vid clips) that you can share on Facebook and family/friends with ease.

3. WordPress.com
I’ve made tons of websites over the last decade – self-hosted ones like this site (ThatHelpfulDad.com), an investment site called ThomsettsGuide, and many others on a variety of topics. But the use of wordpress.COM to create FREE websites allows me to make more sites quickly and efficiently.

I am now specifically using WordPress.com as hosts for my books – making them into more interactive platforms that allow me to reach my readers easier AND add more layers to my books that expand the experience for my readers. I invite you to read my books and I welcome your feedback – please visit my book page to learn more: https://thathelpfuldad.com/books/

4. Acer Chromebook R11 Convertible (product)
I’ve used Chromebooks for years — I love the Chrome OS, how fast these computers turn on, and their overall ease of use. This Acer CB is no different – it’s quick and responsive for all the basic stuff my son needs. After looking at tons of CB options, we ultimately chose this one because it offered a TOUCHSCREEN (which works really well) and because of the 360 folding options so you can use it like a normal computer, or flat, or even in tent mode. All these work great and are convenient. The screen is bright and looks good too.

For just around $200 how can you go wrong? The low cost makes this a great value. As a note we purchased an older version — newer ones are available with more features for a higher price but the one we have works just fine for our needs. Here’s a link for Amazon: Acer Convertible Chromebook.

2018 Resources – (VI) Home and Shopping

What’s life without a little shopping? I’ve got you covered here. Want to make the home a little more ‘user-friendly’ and save yourself some headaches dealing with wifi dead spots and making holes in walls? Check. How about a good credit card that actually provides a decent rate AND a live human to talk to when you call? Got that too. Read on, my friend…

1. Amazon Prime – for Free Shipping, TV, Music, Photo’s & more
Another year of Favorite Lists and another year on the list for Amazon Prime. I’ve been a prime member since the very beginning (2005) and an Amazon customer since 2002. Amazon is another stock that has made me a good bit of money too so that’s a bonus.

I’ve talked about Prime many times so I won’t rehash it all but besides the 2-day ordering for most items, you get the free music, free tv/movies, 5% cash-back on the A-Prime credit card for Amazon specific purchases and when you shop at Whole Foods (with no annual fee), and more. I have a separate post about 5 Ways to get the most from your Prime membership but here are a few tips…

Shopping with Amazon Prime is simple and efficient and (for me) faster than going to the store.

HD’s Pro Tip: Use the ‘subscription’ services for frequently purchased items (toilet paper, protein powder, laundry detergent, vitamins, etc) and you can save an additional 5-15%.

HD’s Pro Tip: Always check the Amazon Warehouse when you are shopping on Amazon. You can find a lot of ‘like new’ items (that still carry an Amazon warranty) for 25% off or more.

Prime Music is my 1-stop shop for tunes – why pay for a subscription on Pandora or use other music apps when they are here for free? Again it’s just simpler.

Prime Video: with lots of binge-worthy tv and a variety of free movies (with options to rent/buy new ones and have them stored on your Amazon account) and you’ve got entertainment largely covered.

Prime Photos: it’s still a bit raw but I’ve found prime photos to be an inexpensive way to order some prints and get them pretty quickly. Plus you can use it as another auto-backup for your pics and have another location to store them in.

Treasure Truck: I’m surprised how many people don’t know about this yet. The Amazon Treasure Truck is a great way to get Trending Items and tasty fresh food selections for a nice discount.

Nintendo Classic NES – you know the one that’s sold out everywhere? I got it Day 1 with Treasure Truck. Aged Bone-In Porterhouse? Dude Perfect Bow and Arrow? Nespresso Machine? All on the Treasure Truck. The gist is that, unlike normal Amazon Shopping where they send the items to your home, in this case, you go to the Treasure Truck and pick up the item – also there is only every 1 item at a time.

About one every two weeks youu get notified on your phone via text when something is available – if you want it, you buy it, pick a stop, and then show up at the assigned time to retrieve it. Bonus: if you miss the pickup, you get a refund. Also, all these items are covered by Amazon’s A-Z guarantee so if you don’t like if you can send it back for a refund as well (although I’m not sure about the food, you’ll have to confirm that one – mine is always tasty so it’s gobbled up quickly!). Visit this page to learn more about Amazon’s Treasure Truck.

2. Google Mesh Wifi System (product)
In a word: fantastic! Yes, it costs close to $300 for a 3-pack but it’s worth it. We have Frontier/Verizon Fios and our house is 3200sf, but even with wifi extender, there’s always been a bit of a problem in the far reaches of the house. As you know Frontier (just like Verizon) is of little help for this or ANY issue so if you want better wifi coverage in the house you’re on your own to figure it out.

After researching about multiple wifi mesh products and comparing lots of options, we narrowed it down to Google Wifi and Orbi. Since I have a long history of using Google products and we’ve always been satisfied with them, and since the price for Google was lower as well, we went the Google route.

How did it work? The setup could not have been easier — it was essentially plug-and-play. The results were instant – great coverage everywhere. We’re paying for 100/100 speeds from Frontier but prior to using the mesh it was hard to get them at any distance away from the router. Now with the G-Mesh we’re consistently around 95/95 up/down speeds anywhere in the house. Streaming is now fast and instant – no more buffering!

It’s such a great product I wrote a separate article about it, but the bottom line is it’s a reasonable price for getting true wireless coverage for your entire house. Learn more with this link:
Google Wifi system (set of 3) – Router replacement for whole home coverage

3. Feit Electric Outdoor String Light Set (product)
For years I’ve wanted to get the ‘Italian Patio String Light” look on my patio but I just never got around to it. Thanks to a visit from my dad this fall and these affordable, easy to install string lights from Feit and viola – it’s done! There’s a bunch of string light sets like this available.

I like the Feit version best because you get 1 light every 2 feet (where other sets give you 1/3 feet), the lights are a good size (11 or 15w), Feit gives you extra bulbs with the pack (others don’t), the connection between sets is easier, the price is affordable (about a $1 per foot), and they look great. I couldn’t be happier. Here’s the Amazon Link for the 48-foot size, but other sizes are available too…

As an added bonus the light they put out is better than expected – my Kamado is away from the action in a ‘dark’ area of the patio and it was always a bit difficult to cook at night – not anymore – these string lights provide plenty of light to see by – they don’t light it up like a supernova, just a reasonable amount to see by. Perfect.

4. MCS 8×10 Inch Format Frame 6-Pack, Black (65608) (product)
I’m giving you the Amazon link for this item (click on title) because it’s the best price I’ve found for these frames so far. Yes these are cheap frames, but they are easy to use, they are affordable (less than $5 for an 8×10 frame!), and they do the trick. Using these frames I’ve been able to showcase more of my photography in my bonus room.

HD’s Pro Tip: because of their thin profile and nondescript appearance, these frames work especially well for showing off Black & White Prints.

5. HyLoft 00625 45-Inch by 45-Inch Overhead Storage System (product)
My garage is always full – even with a 3-car garage size we can only fit 1 car inside – this is because of all the junk we have. It’s a constant battle that feels like a blog is continually trying to eat us. Thankfully I discovered these HyLoft units this year. They’re easy to install, hold quite a bit of stuff overhead and out of the way, and you can put up a bunch of them for an affordable price. I like the 45x45in version. Here’s the Amazon link:
HyLoft 00540 45-Inch-by-45-Inch Overhead Storage System, White
HD’s Pro Tip: I’ve numerous ones from The Amazon Warehouse for around $35/each – you just can’t beat it.

6. TOGGLER SnapSkru Self-Drilling Drywall Anchor, Pack of 20 (product)
In the never-ending battle I have with my walls about hanging pictures, shelves, etc I’ve historically made more holes that I don’t end up using than ones I do.

The Toggler SnapSkrus and the Drywall Anchor both do an excellent job of holding up whatever we’ve used them for. Yes they do make a pretty BIG hole in the wall so be sure you’re putting it in the right spot, but they are an effective way to hang your items on drywall and I have purchased both versions multiple times. A pack of 20 costs about $10.

7. Chase Sapphire Preferred Card (credit card)
While we have others, this is pretty much the only credit card my wife and I use now. First off, I love that when you call you get directly to a live person immediately (without any phone tree ‘push 1 for X, 2 for Y’ crap). Secondly, the sign-up reward (80k pts) is pretty generous. The cash-back reward rate (1.5%) is good. And the reward options (particularly the travel reward flexibility) is nice. Also, the no foreign transaction fee is a bonus.

On top of that, the website for card management is easy to use/navigate. Look, I’m not here to tell you that I’m a c/card expert and I encourage you to do your research but I can tell you that we are very satisfied with this card. We pay it off in full each month and the benefits work for us. It’s worth looking in to.

8. Google Pay (app)
Similar to Apple Pay, this is Android’s version. This app is incredibly easy and I like not having to get my credit card out when I pay at merchants that accept this form of payment.

9. Google Rewards (app)
This app will earn you FREE MONEY!

It’s basically a SURVEY system but the twist is that you actually get paid for doing surveys. It’s only 10 – 67 cents at a time but the surveys are super quick (usually 1-3 questions, sometimes 5) and you get the money into your Google account immediately. I’ve earned $25+ this year for doing surveys when they pop up – that’s free music, movies, books, etc from Google Play Store.

I love it so much I wrote another article about it – Read more about Google Opinion Rewards

10. Lego Advent Calendar (product)
Here’s another entry from Legos — you can’t go wrong with the Lego Advent Calendar. Why give your kids a piece of unhealthy sugar candy for Advent when you can give them a cool little lego build each day of the calendar countdown to Christmas? We’ve done these for a few years now and my kids have enjoyed them every time. You get a great combo of little ships, characters, and more. And on the 24th you get the ‘special’ character – C3PO in a Santa Hat, BB8 in a Santa Hat, etc. It’s really fun.

So far this was our favorite one…

2018 Resources – (VII) Entertainment

Let’s take a break for a moment and just chill. In this category, I’ll give you some tools that will help you do just that – entertainment-wise.

1. Bose Quiet Comfort 25 Over the Ear Headphones (product)
If you travel at all, you need these headphones. They tune out the noise and tune in the calmness. Yes they are expensive (about $200 for the version I have or $350 for the latest “35” version) but they are worth it.

What about Beats? I’ve got another post that compares Bose vs Beats, but there really is no comparison. I own both Bose and Beats. I can’t even tell you where the Beats are because I never use them anymore, but Bose I use all the time. Here’s why:

First, the Bose are far superior for active noise canceling.
Second, what the Bose lack in bass to Beats they make up for in the other ranges — you’ll hear more overall with the Bose, especially if you listen to more ‘non-Pop’ music.
And third, the BIGGEST difference for me – with Beats once the battery charge of the (only option) rechargeable battery is gone so is your music; with the Bose, if the AAA-battery runs out, not only can you switch to a new AAA-battery, but as a last resort (even without the battery) the Bose WILL still work as non-noise cancelling headphones without ANY battery.
Bottom Line: get the Beats if you wanna look cool because of the name, get the Bose if you want the better pair of active noise canceling headphones that you can really rely on.

You can find the pair I have here…

2. Amazon Fire Stick (product)
In the battle for Amazon and Google for most items on my list, Amazon has another with the Fire Stick. We have both the Fire TV and the Fire Stick. Both are great. When we got the Fire TV box it was because it was on sale and it offered 4k options (although we rarely watch things in 4k b/c there’s just not much available yet). Until 4k becomes more readily available the Fire Sticks are a great way to get a QUALITY streaming service at an affordable price.

Yes, we’ve tried Roku, the Chromecast, and Smart TV built-in apps, and other options. And Apple TV is always something to consider (but remember, I’m not an Apple fan). Roku is fine but it just doesn’t compare to the Fire Stick. The Home Screen interface, features, and usability of the Amazon Fire Stick/Tv are superior to any other streaming tool. Even the Ultra Roku takes too long to get anywhere, the Chromecast requires another source (phone, computer) to do anything, and the stock services on Smart-TV’s are anything but user-friendly.

Amazon’s service is just fun to use – especially if you have Amazon Prime TV as part of your Prime Membership.

HD’s Pro Tip: the cool little “X-Ray” feature of Fire TV gives you easy access to answer the question “where have I seen that actor before?”, as well as show-related trivia, and other behind the scenes info.

HD’s Pro Tip2: power-up your fire stick with Google’s Wifi Mesh (above) and forever rid yourself of the dreaded ‘buffering, buffering’ problem.

Pick up a Fire Stick with this link:
Fire TV Stick with Alexa Voice Remote | Streaming Media Player

3. Binge-Worth TV Shows:
OK, it’s hard to say that watching a lot of TV would lead to an awesome life but there’s a time and place for everything and there are some pretty good tv shows to be discovered that can add some mindless enjoyment to your life (and sometimes that exactly what you need to recharge).

Here’s what we became addicted to last year (I know some of them are older but they were new to us and if you haven’t discovered them yet, check them out).a. Stranger Things – only 2 seasons so far but both are addictive – pay attention and you’ll see ST merch everywhere – it’s a true phenomenon now. Please, Netflix, don’t make us wait till 2019 for more episodes!
b. Oz – a great older series that makes you never want to go to prison. (Series complete)
c. The Wire – this older series about Cops vs Drugs in Baltimore is proclaimed by some as the best TV series ever. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re in for a fantastic ride. Omar rules! (Series complete)
d. Sons of Anarchy – About a motorcycle gang in LA and so much more. Too many surprises to name. Satisfying ending. (Series Complete..or is it?)
e. Bosch – a new Amazon original about an LA Detective. Good acting. 3 seasons and counting.
f. The Man in the High Castle – a drama that considers life in the US if The Nazi’s had won WWII. 2 seasons so far.
g. Ballerz (HBO) Life in, out, and after the NFL. The Rock plays a good role. 2 seasons and counting. It’s pretty addictive.
h. Game of Thrones (HBO) 7 seasons and counting. It takes a lot of tangents, like the book, but it has its moments and I’m satisfied overall.
i. Narcos – 3 seasons on Netflix and counting. The tale of Pablo Escobar and the DEA agents who chased him.
j. Oliver Stone’s Untold History of America – 12 part documentary from WWII forward – with lots of info I’ve never heard before. It’s totally uber-liberal so take it with a grain of salt perhaps but it’s also totally fascinating. (series complete)
Side notes: We got tired of watching House of Cards after 2 seasons. We were highly enjoying an older HBO show called Deadwood (Ian McShane is a great actor) but were shocked to discover that the show was canceled after 3 seasons right in the middle of the story! And Mad Men didn’t do it for us (not enough action).

2018 Resources – (VIII) Travel

Just a couple notes for this category but don’t let the small number fool you – these tips could literally make your life Awesom-er!

1. LegoLand and the LegoLand Hotel (travel destination)
If you have kids between 4-12 and you plan to visit the Orlando, FL area do yourself a favor and plan a stop at Legoland in nearby Winter Haven. If you can swing a stay at Legoland main hotel for a night, even better.

As a resident of Florida, we’ve been to all the Disney and Universal parks many times over and sure they are great, but for kids between 4-12 Legoland is perfect. This is probably because the park is specifically ‘built’ for kids this age. The rides are all made for them, the activities are geared for them, and everything, everything is Legos! Who wouldn’t like that?

As a bonus the pricing is pretty reasonable (a single day visit is less than $90, multi-day is just a few bucks more and Fl Residents can get an annual pass with no blackout dates for about $100 – Compare that to Disney which has gotten so out of hand on annual pass pricing that it’s nearly unaffordable to visit anymore!

HD’s Pro Tip: buy an annual pass on Black Friday and get the “Awesomer Pass” with more benefits for the same price as the regular pass).

And then there’s the Legoland HOTEL – yes it’s expensive ($250+ per night and often higher than that based on availability) but it’s actually worth it. Consider these benefits:

All standard rooms include a separate area for adults vs kids.
Each room includes a treasure chest/safe of small gifts.
There are TONS of activities to do at the hotel for the kids.
There is a giant Lego castle filled with a giant pit of legos – kids pretty much play in this area all day together and make new friends. (HD’s Pro Tip: There is a lobby bar overlooking the castle – yes that means the parents can have a drink/eat while watching their kids play – genius!) At the castle they have afternoon/evening play times (to include a lego build competitions and giant pajama dance party).
There are regular character visits.
Breakfast is included.
There’s a heated pool and a boardwalk to walk along the lake and relax.
Dance music plays in the elevators.
There is a secret s’mores areas.
HD’s Pro Tip: your kids can sign up for free “Master Builder” Workshops where they get to build a special lego toy with guidance from an expert – it’s really fun and Jax has made some cool little builds at these 30-minute events
Best of all the hotel is less than 100 steps (you read that correctly) from LegoLand park and you have your own entrance/security checkpoint.
You get free parking as well.
We love it so much we’ve stayed there 3 times this past year.
HD’s Pro Tip: be cautious about which hotel you book at. I’m describing the Legoland Main Hotel. There is also a “Beach Retreat” – these BR has cute little bungalows and they have their own games, etc but BR it is actually NOT on site at Legoland. You have to take a shuttle to the park. Personally, I find that too inconvenient to make the BR worthwhile.

2. Uber (app)
It took me a while to trust using Uber – I was a little skeptical at first about just hopping in the car of a stranger, but I eventually took the plunge while traveling and I’m glad I did. It’s so convenient. I love being able KNOW what I’m going to pay BEFORE I take the ride – that’s the #1 thing I hate about taxi’s (I always feel like I’m going to get screwed and the ride is never fun because I am always staring at the dang meter and wishing it would slow down!).

With Uber there is none of that. You know what you’ll pay before you go. I also like being able to visually see where my car is before it gets to me, follow the route I’m going while in the car, and I also love, love, love just being able to hop out and go after the ride is done (because the payment is already taken care of). So far I’ve only had 1 bad ride – it was a rideshare car in San Fran and it took forever because the driver didn’t follow the Uber-suggested route! Otherwise, it’s been great.

3. Google Contribute (app)
This FREE app is kind of like TripAdvisor or Yelp (both of which I used to use, but as Google takes over the world (in this case with Google Reviews) I’ve switched to Google Contribute. I’m now a Level 7 Local Guide – which doesn’t really mean anything per se, but it does perhaps help people to know they can trust my reviews are real . Google Contribute is easy to use to do the reviews and to post pics, vids, etc.

2018 Resources – (IX) Clubs

Our final category is last but definitely not least. These two ‘clubs’ have seriously been a big part of bringing me closer together with my sons and adding lots of quality time into the equation. Check them out…

1. Cub Scouts (organization)
When I was a kid I did Cub Scouts for one year – I came in last in the pinewood derby, I wasn’t much for the outdoors if sports wasn’t involved, and I never really put much effort into it. But when my son Jax got ‘recruited’ at school for cub scouts we thought we would give it a try.

Now I don’t know if things have drastically changed with Cub Scouts since I was a kid or if it’s just me, but I was blown away by everything that Jax and his troop did this past year in scouting.

I can honestly say that many of Jax and I’s best bonding moments this past year came from our time doing scouting events.

Our pack has done so many fun things – an overnight camp under the Atlantis Space Shuttle in Port Canaveral, a day trip to a Coast Guard Air Station, a weekend camp that was highlighted by searching for shark teeth fossils in an old river bed, an overnight behind-the-scenes tour of Sea World in Orlando, not to mention all the hiking, pack shows, cookouts, and of course the Pine Wood Derbies (Jax even got an award for his special design).

He’s had so much fun and I have too. He’s found a real home with scouting and made so many new friends. The leaders are great and we couldn’t be happier.

Special thanks to Pack 323 of Land O Lakes, Fl for being so awesome.

2. Amazon’s STEM Club (Subscription Service)Amazon scores again. I don’t recall how I first heard of this but I’m glad I did. This past year we moved our son Jax to a STEM Magnet School this year (shout out to The Sunlake Academy of Math & Science in Lutz, Fl!) — only to discover it was a much more challenging curriculum than he (or we!) expected – but in a good way.

Jax’s mind is expanding in a variety of ways with his exposure to STEM subjects and he’s taking a real liking to it. So far he’s received ‘toys’ that focus on engineering construction, circuits, coding, and more. It’s been a lot of fun. You can choose a subscription for 3 Age Levels (3-4, 5-7, and 8-13).

Here’s a link to learn more…

2018 Resources – Conclusion

There you have it, my friends. The 2018 Resources that comprise the most consistently used tools that I’m using to live an Awesome Life. Every one of these resources has made a genuinely positive impact on my life and which can help you too.

BTW if you are wondering who won the battle of Google vs Amazon for most items on the list it was Google with 10 vs Amazon’s 7.

Meanwhile, if you’re somehow still reading this list then I have to wonder what went wrong? Why the heck are you not following my advice and getting some of these items? Go ahead, get started today.

2018 Resources – Trust Guarantee

If you know me, you know I am honest. In the spirit of transparency please allow me to disclose that some of the links on this document may lead to websites (for example Amazon) where I am an affiliate.

What does that mean? It simple — if you use my links to find/purchase a product (which is easier for you), it will NOT cost you any more money (which is my requirement), but it may result in a small commission for me (which is much appreciated). I look at that as a win-win and I hope you feel the same.

Please remember I only recommend products when ALL THREE of the following conditions are met…

I pay for and/or use the product myself — so I KNOW it works.
I honestly believe the resource will be helpful to my readers.
And providing the recommendation fits with the mission of this site to “Be… Helpful.”

To learn more please visit my Transparency Page.

2018 Resources – Did I miss something?

If so be sure to let me know. What’s in your Life Toolbox that’s making a difference?

BTW, did you know I put out new tips, practical solutions, and honest product reviews every week? If you want to make sure you never miss a tip, be sure to Follow Me – I’ll send you my tips via email each week so you can review them at your leisure.

Let’s talk again soon.

~Michael, That Helpful Dad

Health and Fitness, Product Reviews

Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler – My Experience

January 1, 2018 ThatHelpfulDad Leave a comment

Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler – Who’s it for?

If you are in the market for a personal steam inhaler to help you combat allergies or congestion, look no further. The Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler is about $25 on Amazon.

We considered multiple steam inhalers including MyPurMist, Mabis, Vicks, and more. Our goal was to get a personal steam inhaler that was easy to use, easy to clean, and put out a good amount of steam to help with allergies for our family.

Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler – The Results

We purchased multiple personal steam inhalers to compare them. In the end, the MABIS was the SUPERIOR product. The other steamers did not put out near the steam the Mabis does.

The Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler really does put out some great steam and I have noticed a difference with my allergies when I do their standard 6-10 minute treatment.

My whole family has since used the Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler and it’s been helpful from our 8-year-old son to my 70+-year-old mother in law.

Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler – Bonus

You can also easily use aromatherapy options in the convenient reservoir for this purpose and it really does work (I like to add eucalyptus oil).

It’s also really easy to clean.

Mabis Personal Steam Inhaler – How to Buy?

I got mine from Amazon. Here’s the current product page…

Want more tips like this?

Life Lessons

The Path to Serenity

October 3, 2017 ThatHelpfulDad Leave a comment

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and comfort
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about other people’s approval
and you will be there prisoner.

Do your work, then let it be.
This is the path to Serenity.

Today’s wisdom comes to us again from Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching — this is “stanza 9′ and it gives us important reminders about what happens when we lose balance and focus on the wrong things in life.

Want to find serenity?

It’s not about possessions or status – look inside for the answers you seek and see that peace comes from being content with what you already have.

Product Reviews

Review: Dave’s Killer Bread

August 13, 2017 ThatHelpfulDad Leave a comment

I recently discovered Dave’s Killer Bread while shopping at Sprouts and I’m glad I did. I’ve tried multiple versions so far but the Good Seed Thin Sliced is probably my favorite. It’s filled with goodness – organic ingredients, lots of seeds, and no fillers. It tastes so good even my 3 yr old likes it (which is not true for other healthy bread).

One thing I really like about this bread is that it doesn’t make me tired after eating – sometimes when I eat other bread the carbs put me to sleep (seriously) but for whatever reason Dave’s gives me energy. Bonus!

Tip: I’ve seen the prices vary wildly for this bread, including some $10+ options on Amazon. That’s ridiculous because u can find it on sale in the $3-5 range.

Rating: 4 of 5

Note: my review is NOT sponsored. It is an honest review and the sole purpose is to help other consumers like me identify good/bad products.

Product Reviews

Review: Whole Foods Organic Bananas

August 13, 2017 ThatHelpfulDad 1 Comment

Although it’s not always the case in the battle or organic vs conventional, I have to say that in this example you really can taste the difference. These organic bananas from Whole Foods are far superior to conventional bananas I’m used to from my normal supermarket (Publix). The WF ones taste like bananas used to when I was a kid – sweet and creamy (instead of bland and mushy like conventional ones taste nowadays).

Yes its 2x the price for organic but at .99 cents a lb that doesn’t break the bank and I can live with that.

Rating: 4 of 5

Note: my review is NOT sponsored. It is an honest review and the sole purpose is to help other consumers like me identify good/bad products.

Sassy's Book - A Life Worth Living

Chapter 16 of A Life Worth Living – Making Lemonade

July 12, 2017 ThatHelpfulDad Leave a comment

IClick here to read the earlier chapters and learn more about this serial novel

Chapter 16 – Making Lemonade
(2004)

The rest of 2004 was a bit more mundane. Anne, Sassy, and I continued to enjoy life in our neighborhood and we grew closer to our new friends there. I was a quick study in my new job and soon became one of my boss’s favorites. I kept in close contact with my grandfather and parents back home and everybody seemed to be doing well. So all in all, things were pretty nice. The only negative thing was that Anne and I didn’t get a chance to get married at Siesta Key as we wanted to, but as Sassy soon taught us, when things don’t go as planned, there is always an alternative.

Now as I mentioned before, we made a bit of a mistake when we extended our patio and enclosed the front porch because we ended up taking away Sassy’s views, but trooper that she was, Sassy did not complain and instead found a new favorite past time. Granted, it didn’t happen overnight – at first it was quite sad to Sassy mosey over to her bed by the front window and get ready to look out, only to remember that she no longer had a view – at which point she’d lay there and look back at us with those sad eyes (pet owners know how this rips your heart out). But thankfully Sassy soon discovered the benefit of our home improvements – the chance to lay out in the sun on the screened back patio.

Anne and I have always joked over the years that Sassy would have made a good nudist. Believe it or not, the city we lived in (Land O’ Lakes) was known for having one of the highest nudist populations in the country and there were countless nudist communities quietly nestled into the nooks and crannies of the area. Apparently the local area had just the right mix of sunny weather to suit that crowd. For her part, despite being a Yorkshire Terrier (a breed famous for having long flowing hair), Sassy hated being furry so much that we continually had our breeder keep her shave her as short as possible. When she’d come home from a cut, Sassy would be as happy as a clam with her ‘nudist’ haircut and she’d prance around like she was tiptoeing on roses because having less hair allowed Sassy to spend more time outside and not be as hot.

When I got home from work a few days later, Anne called me into the kitchen and pointed at Sassy laying on the floor of the new patio.

“What’s she doing?” I asked.

“Sunbathing.” Anne smiled. “She’s so comfortable without all her hair that she’s able to stay out in the sunshine longer.”

“And even though she may not be able to see things at her level,” I observed, “that new screened area is great for sitting in the sun and not having to worry about all the bugs.”

“Actually sometimes she makes me open the door so she can sit outside too. The bugs don’t seem to bother her. But either way she lays so peacefully; it’s like she’s in a trance. She stays out there for awhile, comes in and gets a drink, then goes back out. Totally content.”

“She’d make any sun-worshipping nudist proud.” I laughed.

And so, once again, Sassy took a negative event and turned it into something positive – teaching us yet another lesson — one which Anne and I soon applied to our overdue wedding.

***

“There’s always Vegas.” I joked as Anne and I sat at the kitchen table running down two lists that had been rapidly dwindling this past year: available wedding spots and available friends. “Remember, I’ll be there for a company meeting in February (2015), so perhaps you can just meet me out there and we can get this deal done!”

“I suppose so.” Anne sighed – which surprised me because I wasn’t really all that serious with my suggestion. “You know my brother Charles got married there, right?”

“They eloped right? But wouldn’t your mom be devastated if you did that too? I mean you are her only daughter, isn’t your wedding kind of a big deal?” And before she could reply, I thought about it more and added with horror, “Can you imagine what MY mom would say about that?”

“Michael, this is our wedding, isn’t it? I don’t care about who can or can’t attend – I say we invite people and if they want to come that’s great. If not, that’s ok too. All I care about is marrying you and I don’t want to wait anymore. We have the house. Now it’s time to get married and have kids. If Vegas makes that happen faster than I am all for it – and the Little White Chapel would be fine for me.”

“The Venetian.” I corrected her.

“That’s where you’re staying for your company meeting, right?”

“And that’s also where I’d like us to be married. I mean, if we’re gonna do Vegas, then let’s do it right, honey. How about we get married on the Gondola in the Venetian’s river? It would be the next best thing to a wedding in Italy?”

Anne smiled – I could tell she liked the idea. “That’s my Michael – always the romantic one.”

“So, do you like the idea?”

“I don’t like it. I love it!” And Anne leaned over to kiss me. “I’ll contact the hotel and see if they have a wedding planner to help us.”

***

Vegas turned out to be a huge hit – on many levels.

The trip with my company went smoothly and I learned a lot at the meetings – including the fact that pharma companies love, love, love to hold meetings in Vegas: mainly because there are always plenty of hotels willing to give them space at a discount (and that savings means more profits). I’ve since been back to Vegas more times than I can count over the years and stayed at hotels all over the strip, but on my first visit Aventis had us staying at “THE hotel” at Mandalay Bay. It was awesome to begin with and through some quirk I ended up with a “manager’s” room and thus had a suite all to myself – not bad for a rookie rep. Up to that point in my life it was easily the nicest room I’d ever stayed in — so by all accounts my trip was shaping up nicely.

My pharma trip flew by: we had our planning meetings, did a lot of practicing our sales’ pitches, ate at some high class restaurants, and generally did what pharma companies too – spend other people’s money. Although this was the very thing I had railed against before getting into the industry, I have to admit it was easy to get sucked into that lifestyle.

When the week ended, my pharma colleagues left, while I stuck around and took a taxi to The Venetian where Anne was already waiting. As nice as Mandalay Bay was, for the money I’d take The Venetian. Their styles were totally different: THE hotel at MB was modern chic, while The Venetian was Italian luxury. But perhaps more importantly, from a purely practical sense, The Venetian was much more centrally located on The Strip than MB (which was at the farthest point on the northside and really away from all the action). Given that The Strip was really long, I’d found it was better to pick a hotel around The Bellagio midpoint area so you had easy access to all locales. But I digress…

When I first met up with Anne, we had a few difficulties – for starters it rained like The Dickens (and it never rained in Vegas, right?!?). Then, when we went to get our marriage license at the Clark County Courthouse there was a line out the door and around the building (apparently a lot of people did get married in Vegas!) But thankfully those minor troubles dissipated quickly and we had brighter days ahead…

To say our wedding at The Venetian went well was an understatement. Quite frankly The Venetian blew us away with how they treated us. Did we have a great room? Check. Did we get married on a gondola? Check. Did we have an awesome minister? Check. Did we get some amazing wedding pics in a bunch of super secret areas of The Venetian gardens that most people never even knew were there? Check, check, and more checks!

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Although we didn’t have any friends or family join us, we still made the best of it and had a great time. Being alone allowed Anne and I to focus 100% just on each other and it was a blast. After our wedding, we had dinner at Emeril’s Delmonico Steakhouse and both the food and the service was outstanding. After that Anne and I hit the strip and did some gambling – little did I know that Anne would soon develop a passion for Video Poker! Now miser that I am, I hated to play games with low odds, but having done my research I’d already learned that VP was actually a game that the gambler had a chance at — if you played the right machines and you knew a little what you were doing. As a result, I drug Anne around the strip on a whirl wind tour searching for VP machines with good pay tables. It was a great way to see lots of hotels. And go figure – Anne actually started to win!

That meant we had to go shopping the next day… But it didn’t matter because Anne continued to win…

Although we didn’t end up hitting a jackpot, Anne’s winnings offset much of our expenses and that was a big help to the pocketbook. All in all things really couldn’t have gone any better. Nonetheless, after a few more days, we were both ready to get home.

So we returned back to Florida and to Sassy as Mr. and Mrs. Stoppa – happy as clams and now ready to get busy working on the next big item on our agenda: building our family.

Little did we know that that journey would be far more difficult than we could have ever imagined — and that some of our darkest days were fast approaching…for Anne, I, and Sassy.

Sassy’s Life Lesson #16 – Making Lemonade

You know the cliche “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Like so many cliches, we take the saying for granted because we’ve heard it so many times – but the danger of doing that is that we overlook the wisdom of the words. There is real power in this cliche. Life changing power in this wisdom – if we only listen.

Sassy understood this wisdom – in this chapter we saw her overcome the difficulty of losing her beloved window views by discovering the joy of sunbathing. And this would not be the last time Sassy used the ‘lemons’ of life to her advantage. In the days to come, she’d inspire us again and again with her dogged persistence in finding the bright side of life. I’ve never personally known another creature (dog, human, or otherwise), who could overcome so many challenges without folding – it’s something I will always remember about her.

Thankfully for us, Anne and I were able to use this wisdom to our advantage too. Our original wedding spot in Siesta Key was destroyed? No problem, we got married in Vegas instead. We didn’t have any friends or family join us? That’s ok, we still had a blast. It rained on our wedding day? No worries, we trusted in the old adage “Life isn’t about waiting for the storms to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Points to Ponder

What are the lemons in your life?

Is there a different way you can look at these challenges and turn them into something good?

Life Lessons

The Broken Goblet is YOU

July 7, 2017 ThatHelpfulDad Leave a comment

Love, love, love this little story a friend shared with me. Tell me what you think about it…

“You see this goblet?” asks the meditation master. “For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

All of us are that (soon to break) glass. We know Death is inevitable. It is coming and while we may not be able to stop it, what we can do is use that knowledge to our advantage. We’ve talked many times about how we can’t live in the past or the future, only the present. THIS MOMENT is all we have – cherish it. Be present. Enjoy your time here. Share your life with your loved ones and savor every drop of it. LIVE NOW. That’s the path to building a life worth living.