How Little Failures Can Lead to Big Results

We know from our prior discussions that failure is not something to be feared and that failures themselves are not the end of the road. Today I want to share some additional insights with you that relate to Failure and Self-Development.

It’s been said that “Development follows Demand.” Think of any goal you want to accomplish and you’re in essence thinking of a scenario involving development. Obviously we all know that development doesn’t happen overnight. Yet all too often we get frustrated when development doesn’t happen as quickly as we would like [My hand is raised here] and we get discouraged when failure seems to be our only accomplishment.

If this sounds like you too, take hope. A slight change in mindset could be the solution you need to open new pathways to success. Recognize the following truths:

  1. Allow your development to occur as a result of ‘progressive’ demand. Instead of trying to climb to the top of the mountain in one day, ask yourself to do it in stages – push yourself to the upper limits of our comfort zone each day and over time your comfort zone (and your ability to achieve) will gradually expand.
  2. Don’t ignore your comfort zone but recognize that it can change over time. It’s important to be aware of your comfort zone and to challenge yourself here, but if you put undue expectations on yourself and push yourself too far, too fast with unrealistic expectations then you’re setting yourself up for discouragement. Remember the classic goal-setting acronym “SMART” – goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. Use SMART goals that will help you expand your comfort zone over time – it may take a little longer, but you’ll increase your chances of success in the long run.
  3. Development is a river of little failures – as you challenge yourself to expand your comfort zone, undoubtedly you will fail along the way. But rather than be discouraged, use all these little failures as stepping stones along the way to reaching your goals.

climb-mountainTry It
Put this wisdom to the test: pick a goal you want to achieve and see if it works. For example, let’s say you want to be able to do XX number of pushups. Start today by just doing 1 or 2, then tomorrow try for 3-4, and so on gradually until you reach your goal. You may find you can’t immediately achieve the next step(s) every day and that some days your progress is better than others — that’s ok and is to be expected. Don’t focus so much on the end goal; instead focus on the process. Remember the old adage “Life is about the journey, not just the destination” – use this mindset as you expand your comfort zone over time and by accepting failure just a natural part of the developmental process you’ll turn what you thought were barriers on the path to reaching your goal into road signs that signify important progress markers on the journey to your dreams.

Can Joy Come from Pain?

Today’s listen is a bit harder to grasp than most of the ones we’ve discussed together in the past, however if you take the time to really ponder this one it will surely change your outlook on life. With that in mind, let’s tackle the concept of PAIN.

tear

I submit to you the following bit of wisdom from Kahlil Gibran who said, “Your pain is the breaking of a shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the pit of a fruit must break so that the seeds of its heart may find the sun, so you must know pain. And could you but keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, then your pain would not seem less wondrous than you joy — and you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. Then you would watch with serenity during the winters of your grief…”

I find this quote beautiful in so many ways and I hope you can appreciate it as well. We’ve talked in the past about the Seasons of Your Life and how to learn from each of them – particularly periods of struggle (aka Fall and Winter). Gibran has taken that previous lesson and elevated it to another level by adding in the possibility of sensing the wonders of pain as well as joy. I can’t say it will be an easy task to accomplish, but my hope is that you can open your mind to this possibility and thus gain new insights about the true potential that is inside you.

Who are YOUR Best and Worst Customer Service Companies?

poor-customer-serviceI think we can all agree that unfortunately good customer service is hard to find nowadays. Here’s my personal list of the best and worst companies for customer service.

I’d be interested to know what YOU think…

Best Companies:

  1. Korean Air
  2. Google
  3. Legoland Florida Hotel
  4. Amazon Prime
  5. Chase Sapphire & USAA Insurance (tie)

Worst Companies:

  1. Verizon
  2. Apple iTunes
  3. Walmart.com
  4. Sears
  5. US Air & United (tie)

I’d go so far as to say that we are so starved for any semblance that a company actually cares about us at all that we’ve often label what would have been considered just ‘average/basic’ customer service 20 years as ‘world class’ now. It’s a shame that it’s come to that, HOWEVER all is not lost. I would submit to you that if we can recognize those companies who provide truly good customer service in today’s world, and we give them more of our business, then we’ll be sending a powerful message to the companies that have long since stopped caring about us and only look at us as dollar signs – with any luck the bad ones will go out of business and we won’t have to deal with them anymore.

 

Small Changes Lead to BIG Results

One of my meditation mentors today wrote about this topic and I wanted to share his wisdom with you…

“Far too many people stress out when given a goal that challenges them to be more than they think they are right now. Their stress blocks the flow of their energy and leads to poor performance.”

Instead of stressing out and fearing that you’ll never be able to climb the mountain of your larger goal, why not give yourself a chance by focusing on a series of small, achievable steps along the way to your larger goal. In addition, if you use simple, clear, open-ended goals focused on constant improvement (“kaizen”), then you’ll find yourself climbing up that mountain towards  your goal without tension.

Remember

BIG steps forward are really many small improvements compiled over time.

 

smallgoalsWhy not try this?

Make your objective in life to be improving a little bit every single day.

Become a better YOU today than you were yesterday and your future will be brighter indeed!

There is no guarantee of Tomorrow. Don’t Wait to Enjoy Your Life

We’ve talked with each other about this subject in the past, but I was re-reading a passage today in Ecclesiastes that was so powerful I had to share it with you. Understand this – we are all going to die. Yes, it’s a shame, but it’s also the truth. And the sooner we accept the fact that our time in this world is but a breath before we are gone, the sooner we can understand that NOW is the time to LIVE – not just to get by or hope for better things at some point in the future, but to live with PASSION in THIS moment. The title of this article may be a cliche but that’s ok – so long as you get the message – tomorrow is NOT a certainty, the only thing you know for sure is that you are alive, right here, right now – so make the most of it and DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

embrace-the-challenge

Here is the quote from King Solomon that I wanted to share with you…

(Eccl 9:1-10) And Solomon said, “So I reflected on all this and concluded that…all [men] share a common destiny — the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad…The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men are full of madness while they live, and afterward they join the dead. Anyone who is living has hope…For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing, and even the memory of them is forgotten. Their love, their hate, their jealousy will all vanish; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.

Therefore, go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your win with a joyful heart, for it is NOW that God favors what you do. Enjoy life…all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life…Whatever your hand finds to do, DO IT NOW WITH ALL YOUR PASSION, for in the grave, there is [nothing]…”

I realize that reading like is a bit like a kick in the gut, but hopefully this kind of straight talk will reach you where it counts and get you to TAKE ACTION to pursue your passions. God has blessed you with ability and dreams. Use those gifts to make your life and the lives of those you love better. Live the best life you can right now.

 

What is your Daily Bread?

Lately I’ve been finding new ways to think about what Jesus meant when he spoke to his disciples in Matthew 6:11 and “Give us this day our daily bread…” Since the wisdom gained from this pondering has added some enjoyment to my life, I thought I’d share it with you and see if it can help you too.

dailybread

Certainly the obvious answer to the question, ‘what is Daily Bread?’ is that it’s simply the food we need for our sustenance, without which we wouldn’t survive very long. But is there something more to the story? Can the concept of “Daily Bread” help us appreciate our lives and all that God has provided to us beyond just the basic concept of food? I believe so.

For me, Daily Bread has actually come to mean spending time with my family — being totally engaged with them and truly enjoying life in the present (and precious) moments that we share together each day. On those days that I am able to enjoy Daily Bread with my family, I find myself intensely happier and more satisfied with life. On those days that, for whatever reason, I am not able to connect with my family (whether that be because of work obligations, illness, etc), I find myself unfulfilled. That’s why when I say the Lord’s prayer now, when I get to the part about Daily Bread, I visualize my family (ok to be specific I actually visualize us sitting at the table eating an enjoyable meal together so the concept of food is still there – haha). I earnestly pray for this God’s favor in granting me the opportunity to enjoy this Daily Bread each day and I am grateful when the prayer turns into a reality.

I wonder – what is YOUR Daily Bread? Is it similar to mine or do you have another ‘want’ that makes you happy?

Did you know that the Book of Proverbs also addresses this topic? Chapter 30: 8-9 states “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise I may have too much and disown you and say “Who is the Lord?” OR I may become poor and steal and so dishonor your name.” I often think about the wisdom of these words and the perspective it provides on the scale of importance between the quest for money vs. the need for daily bread.

maslows_hierarchy_of_needsThere’s one final piece to the puzzle that I find interesting and it comes from the psychologist Abraham Maslow who gave us his famous “Hierarchy of Needs” shown here. One could make the argument that wherever you are currently at on Maslow’s pyramid of needs fulfillment, perhaps that is what you would consider to be your Daily Bread? If that’s true, it’s possible I am right in the middle where the relationship needs sit and given the importance of my family to my happiness I may well remain there my entire life. However I tend to think there is room for the concept of Daily Bread to encompass more than just one level of the needs pyramid.

What do you think? Where on the pyramid is your most important Daily Bread right now? Do you think it changes over time?

Thanks for visiting with me today. I hope you enjoyed the discussion.

 

 

 

Is PERFECTION Your ENEMY?

Wouldn’t it be great if whatever we desired to achieve we could do perfectly?

It’s a nice thought, but unfortunately it’s rarely our reality. Yet, all too often we hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations. Tell me if this sounds like you — how many times have you said, “if I can’t do it perfectly, then I’m not going to do it at all.” I will admit that I’ve been guilty of this more times than I can count and I’ll bet that you have been too.

HOWEVER there’s a big problem with perfection – it’s possible that your desire for perfection is holding you back from accomplishing your goals and achieving some truly great things in life.

perfection

King Solomon recognized the dangers of trying to be perfect and/or to wait for external events to be ‘just right.’ Consider the following words of wisdom…

(Eccl 11:3-4) “If clouds are full of water, they pour rain…Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls, there it will lie. Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.” (Don’t wait for things to be perfect, just get started and make the best of it).

(Prov 22:13) “The sluggard says there is a lion outside! or I will be murdered in the streets!” (You can always come up with an excuse, how about instead coming up with a reason to get moving?).

(Prov 14:23) “Hard work leads to profit, but mere talk only to poverty.” (Work brings results, talking doesn’t pay the bills).

(Eccl 5:7) “Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. therefore stand in awe of ACTION.” (You’ll never turn your dreams into a reality if you don’t take action).

What it is you want to achieve, don’t wait – DO SOMETHING to move forward today. The longer you wait the get started on your dreams, the farther away they will become – until eventually they may just fade away forever. But that doesn’t have to be you – because you have the power to do anything you set your mind to… all you have to do is GET STARTED.

Fear-of-FailureFor more on this topic, be sure to read…

Fail Your Way to Success, where you’ll read about specific examples of famous people like Michael Jordan, Thomas Edison, and may more who didn’t let perfection stop them from being great.

 

Time and Chance Happen to The Best of Them – that includes YOU too

Welcome back, friends. We’ve been talking a lot lately about the importance of focusing our efforts on enjoying the present. We’ve talked about Turning the Simple into the Extraordinary, that NOW is the time to ENJOY LIFE, and that wise old Solomon commanded us to Eat, Drink, and Be Merry.

As much as we might like to hope and plan for a better tomorrow, the only thing that is certain is that we are alive right now – after that, there are no guarantees. Certainly, we can and should do our best to put ourselves and our families in a position where the future looks bright, but it’s important to understand that, in spite of our best efforts, things can go wrong. In the Book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon delivered one of my all time favorite observations about this when he said (Eccl 9:11)…

The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

agonydefeat

The best teams in sports don’t always win (sometimes the ball just bounces the ‘wrong’ way) – that’s why they play the games, right?

The best person for the job doesn’t always get it (sometimes the position is really already “filled” by the boss’s choice and job is only posted for HR compliance purposes).

And the sometimes you suffer from a streak of just downright bad luck.

That’s life.

That’s why it’s all the more important to really take the time ENJOY your life when things are going well! 

In the article called No Winter that Lasts Forever, we talked about the ‘seasons’ of life – and about how experiencing the bad times makes us appreciate the good times all the more. The takeaway for us all is to recognize that we don’t really know when those bad times are coming and we may not have much power to stop them. But one thing we do have power over is doing our best to make the most of TODAY – I hope you’ll do just that.

 

 

Turning the Simple into the Extraordinary

goodfriendsgoodwineWe’ve been talking recently about trying to make a concerted effort to live in the present moment and to take time to enjoy our lives while we are living them. This past weekend, I had the chance to go to dinner at a friend’s house, little knowing that the meal would end up being one of the Top 5 Best Dinners I’d ever had in my life!

The meal itself was not unique – steak, potatoes, salad, some veggies, and a few drinks – the same types of things we’ve all had countless times over. So why was this meal so much better? Because of the PASSION of the host. I knew going in that my friend Ben was a bit of a connoisseur of fine food and wine, so I was already expecting a nice meal. He told us in advance that he was buying some special steaks with premium cuts and numerous types of fine wines, so this added to the appeal. However, I tempered my expectations because this was after all ‘just’ a dinner at a friend’s house, not a 5-star restaurant, and I knew Ben wasn’t a professional chef so going in I was simply expecting a nice evening with good company.

What I didn’t know is that, when it comes to food, drink, and friends, Ben lives by the very code we’ve been talking about lately – he takes the time to “Be Present” and he puts his heart and soul into creating special moments! Anyone can buy high end ingredients, but if you don’t take the time to learn the craft of what to do with them, you’ll end up with a meal that is most likely good, but not great. What made this occasion so special was the passion Ben put into it – every dish had something special about it – made so because of him. There were the shitake mushrooms and Chinese broccoli which he served with abalone sauce, the various bottles of wine which each had a personal story attached to them as to why their were special, a honey pepper spread for crackers for which Ben freshly-smoked some cherry sea salt, and of those course fine cuts of meat – in the case of the steaks, Ben had procured 3 weberkettledifferent dry-aged cuts (a bone-in filet, a bone-in ribeye, and even a little seen 50-day aged tomahawk cut), he’d seasoned the meat with just some salt and pepper, and then cooked them all on a simple charcoal grille. Now I could have taken those same cuts and put them on the high end grille in my outdoor kitchen that probably costs 30-40 times the simple Weber Kettle which Ben used and I guarantee you my steaks would have paled in comparison. Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook and I’m usually pretty proud of the steaks I can produce, but I’d never made anything like Ben’s because I’d never cooked with the passion that he did! Furthermore, I’ve eaten at more high-end steakhouses than I can remember, I’ve had all different kinds of wet and dry aged cuts, and while I’ve had some truly spectacular meals in my day, I can honestly say that I’ve never had a steak as good as the ones Ben served this weekend – perhaps the best way I can explain it is that the steaks were so good, pretty much everybody at the table even at the FAT – not just a little bit of the fat, but ALL of it. I realize that may sound gross (it certainly isn’t healthy) but it was simply so good that it was like eating steak butter. And it all goes back to the effort Ben put into everything. In addition, not only did Ben cook our meal, but he also served it all as well – explaining that, to him, his friends are his family and it was important to him to make sure we felt at home and could focus our sole attention on the food and the company. In fact, he specifically said he wanted us to BE PRESENT for the meal (the very life lesson I’ve been writing about on this blog recently!). After dinner, we spent relaxing in lounge chairs that surrounded his homemade fire pit, and chatting with he and his fiancé, and by the time it was over, somehow 6 hours had flown by!

wine-bwWhat’s the takeaway?

It was humbling to witness someone who put forth so much effort to make his friends feel special, not because he owed us anything, but just because he wanted us to FEEL ALIVE. It was inspiring to see what’s possible, when you live with passion. And it was amazing to be able to live in the moment for a truly special meal with good friends. Thank you, Ben and Darlene.

This experience brought to life so many of the life lessons I’ve been writing about on this blog. Here are a few…

NOW is the time to ENJOY LIFE

Solomon Commands you to Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

Don’t Just Get By, LIVE WITH PASSION

And, Choose Happiness Over Money.

 

NOW is the time to ENJOY LIFE

Today’s lesson is part of a little series I’m writing about the importance of making a conscious effort to enjoy your life NOW. Not tomorrow, today. Not later today, but this very moment!

It’s been said a million different ways always but the old cliche is true – there is no guarantee of tomorrow; the only thing we can count on is that we are alive right now. With this in mind, if we want to live the best life possible, then we must focus our attention on enjoying our lives as we are living them. All too often we put off our happiness until some unknown future period (later today, next week, next month, next year!?!) while we fill our lives in the present with the worries of the world that we allow to control our time – little grasping that the sands of our lives are falling away, never to be recovered.

Putting things in perspectiveslowdownenjoylife

Perhaps one cause for our failure to get more enjoyment out of life is that we sometimes think that in order to have fun, we must experience a life event on a grand scale – such as an expensive vacation, celebrating the completion a major goal in life, attending a big party, etc. While these are certainly events to be enjoyed, they sometimes are associated with self-induced, pressure-packed planning that takes our focus away from living to the fullest today and shifts our hopes towards a delayed, future joy. That could be a problem.

Have you ever asked yourself – “What can I do to just enjoy today?”

There are so many simple joys in life that can provide you pleasure, peace, and fulfillment. If you will but LIVE in THIS moment and BE PRESENT here and now.

How many days have you gone through life without paying attention? How many days/months/years have your wasted your today’s while you think about tomorrow? Stop letting your life trickle away. Make the commitment to yourself to enjoy it TODAY.

Things You Can Do Today to Be Present

Some that come to mind to me include: spending time with your family/friends, cooking a nice meal, meditating (both relaxation and active types), reading a good book, playing/listening to music, walking your dog, painting/drawing, etc. etc.

But the key to being able to enjoy any of these activities is that you must give them your FULL ATTENTION. By doing this you’ll be enjoying your life as you live it. The more ‘moments of being present’ that you can string together like these, the more you will start to live a fuller life without having to wait for a major life event to take place to do so. As they say, never put off for tomorrow what you can do today, right? So stop waiting for life to come to you and START LIVING!

Want to Know More on This Topic?

For another perspective on this topic, consider another article in this series: Don’t Just Get By, LIVE WITH PASSION!

ToIndeedBe-DPS

And, Solomon Commands You to Eat, Drink, and Be Merry