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Life Lessons

The Challenges of Life (In Memory of Harriet the Bald Eagle)

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Screen Shot 2016-05-27 at 9.18.58 AMToday’s life lesson is inspired by Harriet the Bald Eagle who will long be remembered as an inspiration for overcoming adversity.

 

Who Was Harriet?

A brief version of her story is this…Harriet was a bald eagle born in 1981; at birth she should have died because pesticides caused her eggshell to be too thin, but she survived with the help of a wildlife biologist named Ron Eckstein who not only saved her life but also tagged her leg for tracking (because at the time bald eagles were an endangered species). Harriet overcome the challenge of her birth and for 19 years soared over the skies of the Wisconsin area – until the year 2000 when she was hit by a car and left for dead. A call for help brought a wildlife expert to the scene – the same Ron Eckstein! – who managed to save Harriet’s life. Unfortunately Harriet suffered injuries to her head (which caused her to look a bit odd) and worse yet required her left wing to be amputated – meaning she’d never fly again. Yet once again, with the help of friends, Harriet overcame the challenges of her life. After she recovered, she was given the opportunity to interact with wounded warriors and other disabled people – she thrived in this role and there are countless tales that testify to the impact that Harriet’s visits had. Over time Harriet travelled throughout the US spreading her message of hope. Eventually a National Eagle Center was created in Minnesota, Harriet’s image was put on a “Support Our Troops” license plate, and all the extra attention to bald eagles helped to bring them back from the brink of extinction and help them thrive again. Yesterday, at the grand age of 35, Harriet died. She lived a challenging life for sure. And yet in spite of her adversity, Harriet lived a life of substance and Harriet changed lives, in a way that should be an inspiration for us all.

 

If you’d like to know more about Harriet, check out this Washington Post article.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/05/27/remembering-harriet-the-famous-bald-eagle-that-healed-wounded-veterans-when-she-could-not-fly/

 

Harriet is Flying Again in Heaven

Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with this: “Man’s fate is like that of the animals…all go to the same place…who knows if the spirit of man rises up and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?” (Eccl 3:18-21)

 

Personally I believe that Harriet is now in heaven, enjoying a peaceful existence, with many of the other furry friends who’ve inspired me over the years.

Life Lessons, Money, Career, and Finances, Solomons Wisdom

King Solomon 5 Money Myths – How Many Are YOU Guilty of?

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Life Lesson #24: It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep

Today’s lesson is the third part of our series about King Solomon’s Tips for Money Management. This is Part 3 of our series – we’ll talk about five money myths and then we’ll examine King Solomon’s wisdom on how to SAVE more of that money you’ve worked so hard to earn.

Editor’s Note: if you have not yet read Part 1 or Part 2 be sure to do so now. And be sure to read all the way to the bottom to learn how you can get a cool freebie called “The 10 Commandments of Solomon.”

Money Myths – King Solomon Myth Buster?

When it comes to money, countless experts have long echoed the words of King Solomon about the following piece of wisdom…

It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep.

Granted, one part of the ‘how to keep more’ puzzle has to do with using efficient tax minimization strategies and unfortunately Solomon can’t help us much there so get yourself a good accountant, but Wwere the king can help us though is by dispelling a number of money myths – take a look and see how many of these you need some help with.

Here are 5 common myths about money that, if you don’t know the truth, will cause you to spend your way to the poor house. How many of these are you guilty of? (BTW – I’ve been guilty of believing ALL of these myths at one point or another of my life – oops!)

Money Myth #1: If I’ve got money, it’s time to make it rain!

King Solomon talked a lot about this money myth, consider the following wisdom…

  1. “It’s better to be a nobody and yet have a servant then pretend to be somebody and have no food.” (Prov 12:9).
  2. “One man pretends to be rich but has nothing, another pretends to be poor yet has great wealth” (Prov 13:7)
  3. “He who loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.” (Prov 21:17).
  4. “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.” (Prov 21:20)

What’s My Take?
When I was younger, as soon as I got some money in my pocket, I felt an intense desire to spend it. I wanted to live like a king and let everybody know it. That’s not smart. And while it’s true that as a ‘king,’ Solomon had plenty of money and thus was able to acquire lots of nice things, the key is that he didn’t spend like a fool and just throw his money away.

Over the years I’ve learned that there’s nothing wrong with buying yourself something nice if it will give you pleasure, however it’s important to live beneath your means and save for the long-term. Do that and you’ll make your life easier in the long run.

Here are a couple great books to read on this topic:

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!

The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy

 

Money Myth #2: Once I make $(xx salary) I’ll be happy.

Here’s what King Solomon said about this money myth…

“Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income – it’s all meaningless.” (Eccl 5:10)

What’s My Take?
I’ve been guilty of this for a long time.

When I first started working I remember wanting to make $30k, then $50k, then I was sure $100k was going to solve all my problems; it didn’t. Later I set my sights on $150k, then 200k, etc — but eventually I discovered that a high salary alone has never been enough to satisfy me.

Instead I’ve learned that while it’s great to increase your salary and earn more money, it’s just foolish to believe that a higher salary will make you happier. The fact is that there is no amount of money that will make you happy; only you can make yourself happy.

Here’s a couple interesting reads on this topic…

Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending

Mindful Money: Simple Practices for Reaching Your Financial Goals and Increasing Your Happiness Dividend

 

Money Myth #3: If I want something AND I can afford it, then it’s a good buy.

King Solomon said this…

“As goods increase so do those who consume them, and what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?” (Eccl 5:11)

My Take
Here’s another one of my past mistakes. Once I started to get some money built up in my savings account I figured I could buy whatever I wanted “because I can afford it.”

That’s not smart.

I had to learn the difference between a want vs. a need. I hope you do as well because if you keep buying things you want but don’t really need and you’ll eventually have a house filled with useless things and no money – that’s a bad combination.

 

Money Myth #4: If I make more money, then my family will love me more.

King Solomon talked about this one numerous times, consider…

  1. “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love, than a fattened calf with hatred.” (Prov 15:17).
  2. “A greedy man brings trouble to his family.” (Prov 15:27).
  3. “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.” (Prov 17:1)

My Take:
Obviously it’s important to make enough money to provide for the things your family needs, however it’s also important to understand that just like money can’t buy you happiness, it also can’t make your family love you more.

YOU earn your family’s love by spending time with them.

Know this – where you spend your time is where your heart is. If you spend all your time at a high-paying job because it gives you money to buy a lot of nice things for your family, but you don’t actually spend time with your family, you’re missing out on life. How can your family love you when you are never around? Is all that money really worth it?

For more on this topic, read this article:

https://thathelpfuldad.com/spend-time-legacy-goals/

 

Money Myth #5: Buy now, pay later – I can get everything I want by using OPM.

King Solomon was not a fan of borrowing money. He advised the following wisdom about this myth…

  1. “If you have borrowed money….free yourself… Allow no sleep to your eyes…[until you] free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter or the bird from the snare of the fowler.” (Prov 6:1-6).
  2. “He who borrows money will surely suffer, but whoever refuses to strike hands in pledge is safe.” (Prov 11:15).
  3. “Do not be a man who strikes hands in pledge or puts up security for debts; for if you lack the means to pay, your very bed will be snatched from under you.” (Prov 22:26-27)

What’s My Take?
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you can’t make money using credit or borrowing OPM (Other People’s Money) – it’s a proven fact that by leveraging other people’s money on top of your own you really can make a lot of money.

But that route is both high reward (possibly) and high risk (definitely). You need a lot of education and advice before you go down that path because if you borrow money and can’t pay back what you owe, then you’re going to have problems. As King Solomon says “your very bed will be snatched from under you.”

Is using OPM worth the risk? I’d be very cautious here. Be sure you have a good plan – one that includes what to do if/when things go wrong.

Personally I’m a fan of the ‘slow and steady’ wins the race — as Solomon said (Prov 13:11) “he who gathers money little by little makes it grow” – and that route offers you peace of mind as well.

Bonus Wisdom of Solomon – What  to Do with all your Money?

After completing all three parts of this series, you’ve learned some tips from King Solomon on how to make money, save money, and invest money to make it grow. So now that you have all this money, what can you do with it?

Consider the following suggestions from Solomon on how to use your money.

1) Help others:

(Prov 11:25) “A generous man will prosper and he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

(Prov 22:9) “A generous man finds himself blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.”

2) Leave something for your kids:

(Prov 13:22) “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.”

(Eccl 7:11-12) “Wisdom along with an inheritance is good…for wisdom is protection just as money is protection, but the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors.”

3) Teach what you’ve learned to others:

(Prov 20:15) “Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.”

Thanks for joining us for these wisdom tips. We hope you’ve enjoyed King Solomon’s Tips on Money Management and that they will help you to improve your life. Remember, if YOU have a tip to share, please let us know in the comments below.

Solomon’s Wisdom – A Free Gift

If you like the wisdom of Solomon, you’ll enjoy this handy Cheat Sheet called “The 10 Commandments of Solomon.” Subscribe to my blog and not only will you get this instant download, but you’ll also get my wisdom via email each week so we can continue to stay in touch and help each other.

career advice, Life Lessons, Money, Career, and Finances, Solomons Wisdom

Don’t Just Get By, LIVE WITH PASSION

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Life Lesson #21: “Poetry, Beauty, Love — These are What We Live For”

 Today’s life lesson is inspired by the character known as Nuwanda (the nickname of Charles Dalton, one of my characters from the movie “The Dead Poets’ Society), who said, “Gotta DO more, gotta BE more!”

ToIndeedBe-DPS

 

Have You Seen It Yet?

Did you ever see the movie called “The Dead Poet’s Society (DPS)?” If you have not seen it yet, please do yourself a favor and watch it today! I first saw it with my friend Joseph Elston when I was a senior in high school in 1989 and it changed my life. I watch it now at least once a year — usually around the end of one year to get myself ready for the next one – so that I can be inspired by all the great wisdom stored within this movie. Once you see this movie, I’d wager you might want to do the same.

The main character in DPS is an English Professor named John Keating (played by Robin Williams) and he provides his students with a number of great life lessons. These lessons are powerful tips that can truly change your life if you take the time to understand them, and more importantly, to apply them to your life. Some of these quotes you may have heard before because they’ve become so popular they are now clichés, however even if you do recognize a quote, I’d encourage to not just skip over it; instead, let’s spend a moment together discussing it so that you can get the full value out of that tip and make the most of it in your life too. Your goal here should be to not just read but to remember – do that and you’ll have tips at the forefront of your mind so that you can use them whenever you need them. My friends, invest a little time with me here today, and you’ll reap the rewards later in a big way

Professor Keating’s Life Lessons

KeatingDPS

Keating Lesson #1: “You must strive to find your own voice — Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. [Henry David] Thoreau said, ‘Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.’ Don’t be resigned to that. Break out!”

Helpful Dad’s take: Don’t just be a part of the herd, shuffling along doing what everybody else is doing because that’s what you think society requires of you; instead discover who YOU are. Be who YOU want to be. Do that and you’ll find happiness. Be a follower and you’ll miss out on life until it’s too late – and you’ll be filled with regret. That’s no fun. Don’t be content to just watch others live while you sit on the sidelines – aim to be someone who enjoys life! If you have the opportunity to dance, do it; if you have the chance to soar, take it; if you have a dream to achieve, go for it. Live your best life possible – but remember, nobody can live that life but YOU.

 

Keating Lesson #2: “To quote from [poet Walt] Whitman, ‘O me! O life!…of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?’ Answer. That you are here — that life exists, and… that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

Helpful Dad’s take: I love this one. It’s kind of cliché now because advertisers have gotten ahold of it, but it really is a good one. We are all part of the grand play of the universe. We all have a part to play – something to contribute – something that, even if it’s in a small way, can indeed change the world. Maybe you won’t discover the cure for cancer, but maybe you’ll do something nice for somebody else and that person will be inspired to discover the cure (but it would have never happened if you had not played your part first!). So you see, we are all connected. All of us are members of this great play. We all have a part to contribute. You DO matter and you ARE important. The world needs YOUR contribution. Never forget that.

 

Keating Lesson #3: “When you read, don’t just consider what the author thinks, consider what YOU think.”

Helpful Dad’s take: the author had a reason for writing what they did and it’s great to try to understand it, but the more important lesson is what will YOU do with the knowledge that you gain from reading something? Figure out how to do that on a consistent basis and you’ll be able to not just read about wisdom, you’ll be able to USE it too!

 

Keating Lesson #4: “We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life, but poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

Helpful Dad’s take: This one is the basis for today’s life lesson. Understand that the sweetness of life comes from things like love, and poetry, and beauty – but often you have to make some extra effort to appreciate these things. Remember the life lessons about how ‘everything is beautiful in its time,’ the importance of ‘changing your perspective,’ and why you should ‘choose happiness over money,’ well in order to really understand those lessons, we must understand what Professor Keating is teaching us here – don’t just live to work, spending all your time and energy just to make money, instead work to LIVE. King Solomon said, “Eat, drink, and be glad” (Eccl 8:15) – so enjoy your life and learn to appreciate all the beauty that the world around has to offer.

 

Keating Lesson #5: “But only in their dreams can man be truly free. ‘Twas always thus, and always thus will be.”

Helpful Dad’s take: this is so true, but perhaps on more levels than you might think. Sure you’re free in the dream world when you sleep at night or when you daydream, but you’re also free to turn your dreams into reality too. You can change the world with YOUR dreams… if you only try

 

Keating Lesson #6: Carpe, carpe. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

Helpful Dad’s take: I’m sure you know this quote because it’s what the movie is most famous for! So what’s Professor Keating trying to teach us? It’s simple — don’t wait to live, live NOW! There is no guarantee of a tomorrow for any of us so if you want to do something, do it TODAY. Remember this little epigram by Bill Keane — “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” Be grateful that you are here. Be grateful that you are even alive. Make a promise to yourself that you won’t waste this day. Use the gift of today and make the most of your time by doing something, anything, no matter how small, that gets you closer to YOUR dreams.

 

Keating’s Lesson #7: “No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas CAN change the world.”

Helpful Dad’s take: perhaps I’m starting to sound like a broken record because I keep saying the same things – but that’s because it’s so important. My friend, you are here for a reason. You can indeed change the world and make it a better place. Sadly not everybody is going to believe in you and many will actually try to keep you down or discourage you. Don’t let them stop you! Believe in yourself. Seek the wisdom of others who do believe in you and do want to help you. Keep striving towards your own personal victory line and when you reach it keep going! Run YOUR race until the very end and you can change the world – just be sure that you save a little time to tell me about all the great things you did!

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today

Pick one quote from this list and make the commitment to use that wisdom in your life today.

 

Did You Know?

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

 

 

 

Life Lessons

Are You Willing to Give the Effort It Takes to Win?

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Life Lesson #21: The Difference Between Victory and Defeat is So Small.

Today’s life lesson was inspired by swimmer Michael Phelps who said “If you want to be the best, you have to do things that other people aren’t willing to do” and for other reasons that will soon become obvious to you…

Phelps2

 

But First Some Cool Science

Do you know the temperature it takes to boil water?

212 degrees Fahrenheit (or 99.97 degrees Celsius).

Do you know what happens if you only heat the water to 211 degrees F (or 98 degrees C)?

The water doesn’t boil, it’s still just water.1 But crank up the heat just 1 degree more and the water boils – not only will that boiling water but it also becomes steam (a gas) and that steam equals POWER – the power to drive a giant locomotive, push a turbine, and operate steam engines of all kinds. That extra one-degree really matters – it’s a small change but a GIANT difference. And that’s the point of our lesson – the difference between success (in this case boiling water that creates power) and failure (just having a bunch of hot water that lacks power) is so small, but so important. (For more on The 212 Principle, see the Bonus Notes below).

 

Michael Who?

I’m sure you’ve heard of Michael Phelps, right? You know the swimmer who has more gold medals (18) than anyone else in the history of the Olympics? Yeah, that guy. Well, let’s review a few things about him. Just to put things in proper perspective so you can understand Michael’s greatness – he started his Olympic career in 2004 and between then and the 2012 games there were a total of 48 men’s swimming events – Michael competed in 24 finals during that time – and medaled an amazing 22 times! And we’re not just talking about any medal here – 81% of Michael’s medals are gold. None of the next 20 Olympians with the highest medal counts have as good a gold percentage as that. In short the man is simply amazing!

So what’s Michael’s secret? The fact is that you can’t get a record like that from just being lucky. Michael earned that record from dedication, sacrifice, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. He understood that it takes every degree of effort in order to win – Phelps was willing to give whatever it took to get to the 212 degrees effort level because he knew it would give him the power to beat his opponents. Remember – the difference between victory and defeat is so very small – sometimes as small as a few seconds, sometimes less than a second, and sometimes less than a 1/100 of a second! It wasn’t by chance that Michael kept winning so many close races – it was because Michael was willing to give that 212 degrees of effort – every time for every race.

Just as importantly Phelps never gave up – even when it appeared to the rest of the world that he was about to lose, Michael kept swimming with all his effort, his 212 degrees of effort. Why? Because even though he didn’t have control over his opponents, Michael knew he did have control over himself and the effort he could put forth; he knew that if he always gave 212 degrees of effort that it would put a lot of pressure on his opponents. Experience had taught Michael that opponents often faltered under intense pressure, so Michael knew he had to always be ready to take advantage of an opening at any time. He knew that sometimes those openings didn’t appear until the end of the race, sometimes not until the last split second! By that time most people NOT in the lead have already given up, but not Michael. He knew he always had a chance because Michael gave his full 212 degrees of effort from the beginning of the race to the very end. And Michael was rewarded for his never-say-die efforts time and time again. (See the Bonus Notes for not 1, not 2, but 7 different times when Phelps snatched victory at the very end!)

 

What This Wisdom Means to YOU…

The point is this — whatever you want to do, whether you are competing with yourself or someone else, you have to keep pushing through, with all of your effort, to the very end (and beyond) until you get YOUR GOAL. And if you get a lead, don’t let up, don’t ever relax, don’t ever stop until you win – there are way too many examples of individuals and teams who had a lead in something and relaxed too early (thinking they were certain of victory) only to watch their opponent complete a miracle comeback. Don’t let that happen to you – they’ll be time for celebrating AFTER you win, until then give it all you got until the contest is over and complete what you started. At the same time, if you are the one who is behind, don’t give up, keep forging ahead, keep trying, keep up your pressure – your opponent could well be about to crack under the stress and give you an opening – you have to be ready to take advantage of any opportunity like Michael Phelps did so often. Always remember — victory (or defeat) is never final until the contest is over. You can still win even when all looks lost – if you keep trying! To inspire you I ask you to consider the greatness of Michael Phelps in this gold medal race from the 2008 Olympics – a race when he was getting smoked the entire way and it looked absolutely certain that he was going to lose, and yet, somehow, some way he found a way to win again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KLy-NnTD2o

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today…

Ask yourself, are you willing to give 212 degrees of effort to create power in your life? Or are you willing to watch your opponent give that kind of effort and beat you instead? The answer is going to determine the difference between victory and defeat. I hope YOU are the one who rises to the occasion!

Did You Know?

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

Bonus Notes:

1) Regarding the temp for boiling water for those of you who are math or science whizzes I know that these numbers may vary if the altitude, atmospheric pressures, etc. change but I think you’ll agree the overall lesson is still the same.

2) There is now a phenomena known as “The 212 Principle” – to learn more about it watch this vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDGrbR2MfCo )

3) Check out this link for seven of Phelps’ races in which wins by the smallest of margins: http://www.sbnation.com/london-olympics-2012/2012/8/3/3216672/michael-phelps-swimming-greatest-races-videos

Life Lessons, Solomons Wisdom

How to Make More Friends

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Life Lesson #18: The More Friends You Have The Better

Today’s lesson was inspired by King Solomon who said, “Two people are better than one because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Eccl 4: 9-11)

four hands pulling on a rope in one direction

What This Means to YOU…

Do you have trouble making friends? If so, this wisdom can help you.

Are you somebody who makes friends easily but would like to find a way to better influence people to get them to help you reach your goals? If so, this wisdom can help you.

Do you want to learn how to make the right friends – people who can change your life for the better? If so, this wisdom can help you too.

Are you ready to learn more? Good. Let’s get started.

 

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Let’s tackle the problem in reverse – before we get to the ‘making friends’ part, let’s first discuss the right people to target for your friends. There’s an old Greek philosopher name Isocrates (and yes he’s a different person than Socrates) who said “Be gracious to all men, but choose the best to be your friends. “ That wisdom is important to understand because unfortunately not everybody in the world makes for a good friend. The trick is to know who will make a good friend and who will not?

We can begin to answer that last question by applying the wisdom of another old saying that goes something like this “you are who you hang out with.” What that means is that if you hang out with a bunch of potheads, that what’s you’ll eventually become a pothead yourself; same goes if you hang out with overachievers, jocks, math nuts, etc.. It’s all the same — you become what your friends are if you hang out with them long enough. This is no joke and it seriously does work.

It’s not always easy and it takes effort sometimes to get in with a new crowd (keep reading to learn how to make people like you) but if you want to put yourself on a path to success (however YOU define success), then find other people who have what you want and hang out with them. So if you want to be a good student, hang out with other smart kids. If you want to get on the baseball team – join that crowd, practice a lot, and go for it. It really doesn’t matter what you want to do, the point here is that I want you to recognize that your friends are probably going to be the biggest influence on you in your life because peer pressure is hard to fight, so make it easy on yourself and put yourself in a situation in which you won’t have to fight against peer pressure telling you to do something you don’t want to do, instead find a group of people who will be encouraging you with a positive peer pressure to accomplish goals that are important to you (because they will also be important to them). Does that make sense?

 

 How to Make People Like You…

Now that you know who to target for your friends, let’s talk about how to make them like you. This is one of the most important pieces of wisdom I could ever hope to teach you and I hope you take it to heart because this wisdom will seriously change your life. Because space is limited here I can only give you a few tidbits (but even this small amount of wisdom is valuable if you use it). In addition, if what I teach you here inspires you to learn more, I’ll show you one of my favorite books on the subject so you can get it for yourself.

Have you ever heard of a guy named “Dale Carnegie?” Mr. Cargenie was born back in 1888 and he was a little kid without any money or friends, yet amazingly he made himself into a grand success (with lots of money and lots of friends). How did he do it? He found a way to help other people make friends easier and thereby changed the world. He wrote a book on the subject called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and that book is filled with lots of great wisdom that can help you too. Here is just a brief example of some of Mr. Carnegie’s wisdom…

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Show INTEREST in other people – ask about their day/life/family/etc
  2. Be the first to SMILE – when someone looks you in the eye, smile at them – it shows you accept them as a person and like them
  3. Remember that a person’s NAME is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good LISTENER. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the OTHER person’s interest.
  6. Make the other person feel IMPORTANT– and do it sincerely.

Obviously each of these items is a mere tidbit and there’s a lot more to each technique that I have the space to write about here, but I promise you, if you read this book it will improve your life because it will improve your ability to not only make friends but to also cooperate better with other people (you’ll learn how to INFLUENCE others to help you as well and that’s an extremely valuable skill to have). So please do yourself a favor and TAKE ACTION by getting a copy today of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – it will be at your library, possibly already on your family’s bookshelf at home, or definitely on Amazon. Seriously, go look for it now!

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today.

It’s simple really – get a copy of Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends…” book today, start reading the book today, start using the lessons he teaches today, and start making more friends today!

 

Did You Know?

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

Life Lessons

What’s YOUR Solution to this Classic Test?

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Life Lesson #17: Think Outside the Box

Today’s lesson was inspired by Erich Fromm (a German Psychologist) who said “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.” What you’re about to read is story about a puzzle test you’ve probably seen before, but with a new twist – a solution you may never have imagined…and most importantly a challenge to you to come up with one even better!

 

First, Let’s Talk about Problem Solving…

Think about a time when you were faced with a problem and the obvious solution just didn’t work – and neither did any of your other ideas. It’s likely you got pretty frustrated, right? If you’re like most people and tried a few ‘standard’ solutions for your problem but things didn’t go well, you’d probably just give up, get angry, and say “it can’t be done!” I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way and if you apply this lesson to your life you may well change the world!

 

Become a Dreamer

In addition to what we learned in Lesson #13 about The Power of Perspective, there’s something else you can use to solve your problems – The Power of Thinking Outside the Box. This power is a gift that some people are born with and if that sounds like you, congrats – however even if you weren’t born with this skill, don’t worry because it’s a power you can learn and develop over time. The first step towards acquiring this power is making the decision to NOT give up when tackling your problem and instead make the commitment to FIND A WAY to solve it. The people who make this resolution often end up becoming the dreamers and creators who change our world — they do it by not only looking at their problems as opportunities but also by thinking outside the box of normal problem solving – most importantly they remove the restrictions of the rest of the world and create a new path to success. That’s the secret and it’s so important I’ll say it again – remove the restrictions of the problem… from every angle (the problem itself, society’s standard solutions, what you thought was possible or not, etc) and when you do this, the new questions you’ll be asking yourself will offer up a whole new host of exciting solutions you never would have imagined!

 

Now Let’s Take that Test

One of the best opportunities I can give you to apply this lesson is a very popular test called “The 9 Dots Puzzle” – you’ve probably seen this in school and you may well know one of the solutions, but do you know ALL of the solutions? I’ll bet you don’t.

I remember first doing this test when I was a kid. and I’m proud to say that I did solve it back then without help. (As my friends can tell you I was always one to ‘stretch the rules’ a bit and that trait greatly benefitted me on this test because the solution to this puzzle definitely requires that technique!) Now let’s see how YOU do. (Be sure you scroll through this page SLOWLY so that you don’t see all the answers and thus destroy the challenge – doing that will only rob yourself of the chance come up with new solutions on your own and develop this important skill!).

THE TEST: Take a look at this picture and see if you can link all 9 dots using four straight lines or less without lifting your pen and without tracing the same line more than once?

9Dots

Let me give you some time to think about it…

 

And some space…

 

Any ideas yet?

 

How about now?

 

For years the classic solution was the following (and this is the solution I sheepishly came up with the first time)…

9Dots4lines

 

Now this solution is certainly out of the box thinking because it involves going beyond the normal restrictions of ‘staying within the lines’ — look closely at the bottom left and top right corners and you’ll see the trick. It’s a clever little solution, however it is not the most efficient one. Do you know a better one?

By now it’s become pretty common knowledge that you can actually solve the 9 Dots Challenge in just 3 lines. Here’s how…

9Dots3lines

The key to being able to see this solution is to take the task of NOT following directions a step further. Let me explain – there are some people (many people, perhaps even most people?) who are not able to solve this puzzle at all because they won’t allow themselves to see the possibility of drawing their lines OUTSIDE the ASSUMED restrictions of the box itself – the are hampered by self-imposed restrictions! (Now it that describes you don’t worry, there IS hope and you’re learning a valuable skill right now so keep reading). For most of those that do solve the puzzle, they’ll probably do it using FOUR lines — because that’s what the directions say – but again even that group is stuck beneath the weight of self-imposed restrictions related to what they read in the directions about “using 4 lines.” It’s only the rare few who understand that just because it says you can use 4 lines does NOT mean you HAVE to. Those are the ones that solve it in 3 lines. Are you one of them?

 

But Wait, There’s More…

Can you figure out how to solve this puzzle with just ONE line?

When I was a kid, my first thought actually was “Ha, I can do it in one!” but the way to accomplish it required bending the rules so much that (for someone like myself who was often accused of making up his own rules) I was too afraid to even propose it to my teacher because it seemed too much like cheating and I was afraid I’d get in trouble or laughed at by the other students – in short I allowed society’s presumed restrictions to stop me from doing something unique – what a shame, huh? (Thankfully at least I was bold enough to stick to my guns on the 4-line solution because it was something I could show on paper and so I was confident enough to defend it).

So, do YOU know the ONE line solution?

Think about it.

Remove the Restrictions – there are NO restrictions.

Every solution is on the table.

You can do this. Do you know?

Think about this – if you use a line that follows the curve of the earth and has just a slight tilt, you can actually connect all 9 dots eventually with just ONE line – it’s a long, long, LONG line, but it would work. Here’s how…

9Dots1Line

So you see, one LINE solves this problem — and nobody said you couldn’t do that, right?

 

BONUS!

Yoda-ThereisAnother

There is actually one more solution to the 9 Dots Test – perhaps the most powerful of all (that I know of). I’ve never seen it done by anyone else so I’m pretty proud of it, but to be honest with you it’s not all that unique because once you start thinking along these lines you’ll surely see it too…

Did you know you can link all 9 dots with nothing more than just one DOT? It’s true, you don’t even have to draw a single line – all you need is a single dot – and it doesn’t even have to be an imaginary dot. You also do not have to BEND the rules (hint, hint).

Think about it.

Do you know the solution yet?

Need help?

The One Dot Solution is simply this — you bend the paper to make all 9 dots appear on top of each other like this…

9Dots1Dot

And now all it takes is a single dot pushed through the paper to link all 9 dots together (using the power of 3 dimensions — and nobody said that was not legal, right?).

Pretty cool, huh?

 

Say It Ain’t So, Kid…

I’m sorry to say but I just lied to you – did you catch it? My lie was in telling you that the One Dot Solution was the ‘the most powerful solution of all’ for the 9 Dots Puzzle. Friends, this is not true! The One Dot Solution may be the most powerful in MY opinion (because it’s the best that my limited mind has been to come up with so far), but I’d wager that there are MANY, MANY other solutions that are even better. Some so profound and beautiful that the solution to this simple test may end up changing the world. It’s my prayer that YOU will come up with such a solution. If you do, I hope you’ll be kind enough to share it with us.

 

Don’t Wait, Use this Wisdom Today…

So the next time you are faced with a challenge, try to think outside the box when you solve it, perhaps even bend the rules a bit, and see what happens – who knows, you might just discover the cure for cancer or something!

 

Did You Know?

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

career advice, Life Lessons, Money, Career, and Finances

Make The Most of Your Home Base

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Life Lesson #16: Don’t Overlook the Benefits of Home

Friends, We talked about this a bit in Lesson #9 but it’s such an important topic that I wanted to discuss it again. With that in mind, today’s lesson was inspired by Maya Angelou who said, “the ache for home lives in all of us – that safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

LivingAtHome

A History Lesson…

When I was growing up I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and start living on my own. Which is really odd because I had a great childhood, lived in a house full of love, pretty much got everything I wanted, and didn’t really have a care in the world when I lived at home. But in my generation (a child of the 1970’s and 80’s), the thing to do was to leave home as soon as possible in order to ‘establish yourself as an adult.’ As a result, I went to an out-of-state college at 18 and that was essentially the end of my stay under my parents’ roof. Looking back now, I made a mistake leaving home so early. I just assumed I had to because that’s what all my friends were doing and that’s what I assumed the world expected of me, but in all honesty I wasn’t ready to leave home – I was too immature. Sure you can say that going away to college helped me to grow up, and while that is true, I can also tell you that I didn’t get everything out of the college experience that I should have because I wasn’t really ready for it from an emotional maturity standpoint. This isn’t to say that I got into trouble or did anything wrong – as a matter of fact I graduated at the top of my class. It’s just that socially I wasn’t ready for the experience of living away from home so soon and thus I didn’t maximize the value of my experience.

 

Three Strikes!

Growing up is about learning – we’re all going to make mistakes, right? Certainly I can appreciate that argument, but I want you to know that there is a difference between learning from your failures and making avoidable mistakes – the former can lead to valuable life lessons, the latter do nothing but make your life harder! I made my life more difficult than it needed to be by moving away from home too early and running into a lot of avoidable mistakes. For example…

1) I wasted my college experience — schoolwork was easy for me so while I got excellent grades I didn’t really pay attention and learn as much as I could have. I also didn’t use the undergrad college environment to make useful networks, lifelong friends, or build any emotional connections of substance. I chose my college because US News & World Report magazine rated it as one of the top business schools in the late 1980’s and I had the dream to be a stock broker – but in my first semester of business classes I discovered that accounting and economics were a little more difficult than I expected and I also began to realize I had no desire to actually live in ultra-crowded New York City (which would have made working on Wall Street a bit of a problem) so I quickly changed my major to Marketing. Why? Well because my friends at the time told me that ‘so long as you sound like you know what you’re talking about, anybody can be a successful marketing major.’ That sounded easy enough to me so I switched majors — without seeking the advice of any of my parents or trusted counselors and without having any real plan for a career. Strike 1!

2) I didn’t know how to plan for the future — despite graduating with the top GPA of my marketing class and getting multiple job offers with big time marketing firms in Maryland, I turned them all down and decided to move to Florida instead because that was always my dream location to live. I figured I could get the same or better job down there AND enjoy the other benefits of Florida — lots of pretty girls on warm, sunny beaches. Unfortunately without doing research about Florida I made the mistake of thinking that the entire state was pretty much the same wherever you lived – this was obviously not true. In addition, I also quickly discovered that while the expensive Maryland college I went to may have counted for something in the northeast, nobody had ever heard of it in the south and the town I moved to (Jacksonville) was far from a haven for marketing firms. Strike 2!

3) I didn’t know anything about money — top it all off, despite having a scholarship for tuition, by the time I graduated from my expensive private school and moved off to Florida I found myself with no job, no money, lots of credit cards, and nearly $30k in debt (which back in 1993 was a lot of money to owe for a kid without any savings). Strike 3!

Thankfully, God was gracious enough to look out for me. He helped guide me in the right direction and eventually brought me to Tampa where He blessed me with a life beyond anything I could have hoped for – but I firmly believe that I made the process much harder than it needed to be because I tried to do it all on my own and was too immature, embarrassed, and proud to ask my family for help.

 

What This Means to YOU…

There are a lot of lessons you could learn from my situation, but the one I’d like to focus on today is this — I didn’t appreciate all that my family environment offered me and I didn’t use that ‘haven’ to help set myself up for success early on. I believe now that I would have been better off living at home and going to a local college. Or even working for a year or two after high school and then going to college. Had I done that, I could have grown up a bit more, gained some much needed financial capital to pay for college and avoid taking on debt, AND had time to come up with better plans both for my career as well as where I wanted to live.

Who says you have to leave home immediately after high school? Who says you have to go away to college to grow up? For that matter, who says you have to go to college at all? Countless examples of successful people tell us this is simply not true. There is no one right path you need to follow. Sure if you want to go away to college in order to have the most fun and not be bothered by your parents, then by all means be my guest. But are you really setting yourself up for success? I say take some time after high school and get to know yourself. Backpack across Europe in a budget. Go on a mission trip and do some service. Get a job or internship somewhere that interests you. Grow up a bit and then decide what you want to do. Still want to go to that expensive college? Just be sure you have a good plan as to how you’re gonna pay back all that debt.

 

What I Would Do Differently…

If I had to do it over again I’d stay at home for a couple years after high school in order to grow up. Personally I’d still go to college because I enjoy the business world and being able to apply the knowledge I learned in college to the real world actually does help in my opinion. But instead of going off to an ultra-expensive, out-of-state, private college, I’d get a part time job and go to the local community college for the first couple years; then I’d transfer my credits to a big name in-state college for the work in my specific major. You’ll get the best of all worlds that way – you’ll save money by living at home and you’ll still get an alma mater that means something in the world – one which you can use for networking and career growth. In addition, I would get an MBA (or other higher level degree like Masters or PhD) immediately after my undergrad work from the same low-cost but big name state school – this puts you so far ahead of the game it’s not funny (but that’s a story for a different day). What matters here is that by living at home you’ll not only experience all of these benefits but you’ll also continue to be a part of the lives of YOUR family – and that is priceless. As I mentioned before, please don’t take your family for granted. They will not be there forever — especially your grandparents and extended family. There is strength in a strong supportive family. If you have that, please don’t waste it.

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today…

Make the decision to stay home as long as you can and use the benefits of that loving environment to your advantage and you’ll be setting yourself up for success from the start.

 

Did You Know?

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

Life Lessons

Dress For Success

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Life Lesson #14: Show respect for yourself by dressing nicely. 

Today’s lesson was inspired by poet Richard Eberhart who said, “Style is the perfection of a point of view.”

 

What Do You Think?

There’s a famous saying that goes ‘the clothes make the man.’ Perhaps this is true, perhaps not. To be honest with you I don’t believe this to be true. Instead I think the clothes make the man better. If you are not a very good person then all the best clothes in the world won’t help you. That said, if you are a good person, the right clothes could do you a world of good. I also think that opening quote from Eberhart speaks volume about what you can do with your clothes to portray your own personal point of view to the world – read that quote again and ponder what it means to you. After you’ve done that, consider the following…

style-tips

What This Means to YOU…

You’re going for your first job interview — it’s at a grocery store. You know the employees that work they don’t have to dress up nice for work, therefore you decide to simply dress like them (polo shirt and khaki pants) for the interview. Not smart, my friend — whenever you go to an interview, you need to dress at least one level above how the workers dress if you want to stand out from the crowd. In this case, you should at the very least wear a button-down shirt and a tie — although I would suggest a dress coat or perhaps a full-on suit. The fact is that the job market in this day and age is tough — you have to find a way to separate yourself. Dressing for success says a lot about you — including the fact that you care enough about yourself and the job opportunity to take the time to look nice. That will impress your potential employer and will make for a good first impression. Then if you use some of the interviewing tips we’ve discussed elsewhere you’ll elevate yourself into one of the top candidates for the position.

How about for your dates? This one is a bit more flexible – but even still I do think you should still dress for success here too  — at least the first couple dates. Don’t show up in ripped jeans and a crummy t-shirt if you are going to pick up a date at her house — especially if you meet her parents. Now you don’t necessarily need to wear a suit — although if you did the father would probably love you for it — but you should take the time to look nice. Be well groomed. Wear nice clothes. Take some pride in your appearance and show your date that you respect yourself and her. Trust me, it will not go unnoticed and you will be rewarded for your efforts.

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today…

The next time you are out, start to notice how people are dressed. I’ll bet you find that the better-dressed people carry themselves in such a way that it commands your respect. By the same token, I’ll venture to say that if you see people dressed in dumpy ways, you probably won’t give them a second look. Now whether this is right or wrong is beside the point. The fact is that if you dress nicely, you’ll be setting yourself up for success. Try it and let me know how it works.

 

But Wait, There’s More…

As a bonus let me give you another tip that applies here – when you are talking with someone, be sure that you look them in the eyes. People won’t respect you if you are poorly dressed, mumble, and/or don’t look at them when you talk to them. Looking at people in the eyes when you talk shows that you have confidence in yourself and that you are (most likely) being honest with them. It also communicates to that person that you respect and value them enough to look at them. Seriously, I know it’s sometimes hard, especially if you are shy, but please remember this lesson – if you are going for a job, trying to ask someone out on a date, or whatever, always look people in the eyes. Trust me on these two tips and you’ll be Mr. or Mrs. Cool in no time at all.

 

Did You Know?

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

Life Lessons

The Power of Your Perspective

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Life Lesson #13: Turn Your Problems Into Opportunities

 

Today’s life lesson was inspired by Oscar Wilde (author) who said, “The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.”

 

Ancient Wisdom…

There is an old legend from India about a farmer that illustrates the power of having the right perspective. It seems this farmer had only one horse to plow his field and one day that horse ran away. Trying to be sympatric to his plight, the farmer’s neighbors said, “That’s terrible,” but much to their surprise the farmer only replied, “Maybe,” and then set off on a hike to find his horse. As luck would have it, the next day the farmer came back with two new horses and his neighbors congratulated him on his good fortune, “That’s wonderful.” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe.” As it tuned out, the next day the farmer’s only son broke his leg trying to tame the two horses – and the neighbors commented, “how horrible,” to which the farmer again replied, “Maybe.” The next day the army came to the town and took all the young man into the service – all expect the farmer’s now-injured son. The neighbors commented, “how lucky,” but as usual the farmer merely replied, “Maybe.” And the story goes on and on.

 

keating

 

What This Means to YOU…

One of my favorite movies is The Dead Poet’s Society starring Robert Williams as Professor Keating – there are so many life-changing lessons from that movie and if you have not watched it yet I encourage you to do so today. One of my favorites is when Professor Keating has his students stand on top of a desk to survey the world from a different perspective as he says “Just when you think you know something, you have to look at in another way…Dare to strike out and find new ground.” Here is a video clip of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgWDUKP6Quk

 

The wisdom here is very powerful – there is more than one way to look at things in your life. What might seem like bad luck could actually turn out to be helpful to you — depending on how you look at it. If you are facing a tough challenge – one that might even seem to be impossible at first glance – may instead be something different, something more; by changing your perspective, not only might you discover that this obstacle is only temporary but better yet you may discover how to turn your challenge into a new opportunity and possibly even a future strength.

 

Consider These Examples…

1) Stevie Wonder was born premature and the care he was given in the hospital (over exposure to oxygen therapy) caused him to go blind – rather than destroy him, Stevie turned that challenge into an opportunity and discovered a now legendary ear for music.

2) Michael Jordan didn’t make the cut at first on his high school basketball team. Fortunately, his mother gave him some important advice. “She said that the best thing I could do is to prove to the coach that he had made a mistake,” recalled Michael, “so leaving my disappointment behind, I started to improve my performance.” MJ used that initial failure to ignite a fire in his belly that made him the fiercest competitor the NBA had ever seen…and eventually its greatest player ever too.

3) Abraham Lincoln was born into poverty, lost eight elections, failed in two businesses, and even suffered a nervous breakdown. He could have let any one of these obstacles stop him, but he didn’t and instead he used the lessons learned from his challenges to become one of the greatest presidents in the history of our country.

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today…

What challenge is facing you today? Ask yourself the following questions,

1) “How can I look at this from a different perspective?”

2) “What’s GOOD about this problem?”

3) “How can I use this obstacle to my advantage?”

4) “What can I learn from this problem?”

5) “Who can I ask for help?”

The answers to these questions may give you a powerful new perspective on your problem.

 

Did You Know…

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad

Life Lessons

Try It, You Might Like It

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Life Lesson #12: Don’t be afraid to try new foods.

Today’s life lesson was inspired by Paul Prudhomme (world-class chef) who said “You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.”

picky-eater

A Cautionary Tale…
When I grew up, I didn’t like to try new foods. My grandmother made homemade Italian food and I feasted whenever I wanted. My mom and dad cooked a bit too – mostly American and Italian fare. I ate good, but I mostly ate the same things, and because I didn’t try different foods as a kid, I know I missed out on a lot of new experiences. The aversion to trying new foods carried over into my late 20’s – and it almost cost me my marriage! Let me explain – on the first date I ever had with the woman who would become my wife, we went to have SUSHI at her request. Now coming from land-locked upstate Pennsylvania and the small town of Williamsport, I’d never even heard of sushi growing up — so when my new girlfriend suggested we go eat it, I said “ah, ok” even though the thought of eating raw fish turned my stomach. As it turned out, I did not eat sushi on that date (I ordered ‘beef with broccoli’ stir-fry instead). Granted it wasn’t a very manly choice to not try something new, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Luckily my girlfriend didn’t break up with me for being such a spoilsport. In fact, not only did she eventually convince me to try sushi, but we later got married too. And, I’ll have you know that sushi is actually now one of my favorite foods! Who knew? Alas if only I would have tried it sooner.

 

What This Means to YOU…

Look, I’m not gonna lie to you — the truth is that you will probably not like every food that you try. But it’s also true that you will most definitely find new foods you DO like if you keep an open mind (and open mouth!). In addition, I’m here to tell you that sampling new foods is really fun so I encourage you to try new things – you’ll be surprised at what you discover you like to eat.

On top of that, if you want to become a better cook, trying new foods like this will add to your inspiration and also your skill set – it did for me. I’ve always loved to cook – even as a kid. But now that I have changed my views and am eager to try new foods, my cooking is even better – I have more food ideas to get ideas from and more cooking techniques to draw upon. It’s also helped me to make new friends as well and when that happens the entire process snowballs into even more food, even better cooking, and even more friends.

 

Give This a Try…

If you are having a bit of trouble getting over the hump, try using the technique my family uses: we have a rule – it’s from a book called “The Two-Bite Club” by Adrienne Durrett — and the gist is simple – whenever you have a new food on your plate at dinner, you don’t have to eat it all if you don’t like it, but you do at least have to try it by eating two bites of it. If you like it, awesome – you get the enjoy the rest of it on your plate. If not, that’s cool too — thanks for trying it and you don’t have to eat anymore. It works great for my son Jax and he has discovered a number of new foods that I would never have even tried as a kid. Some of his current favs are: hummus, guacamole, ginger dressing on his salad, and even salmon skin (yes I said fish skin!) And you should see this boy eat sushi!

 

Don’t Wait, Use This Wisdom Today…

Do yourself a favor – try something new today — you’ll be amazed at what you find you like.

 

Did You Know…

Today’s lesson was adapted from a book Jax and I wrote called Diary of a Minecraft Dad