Life Lessons

You can’t rush greatness

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A friend of mine told me this story about patience…

A martial arts student went to his teacher and said earnestly, “I am devoted to studying your martial system. How long will it take me to master it.”

The teacher’s reply was casual, “Ten years.”

Impatiently, the student answered, “But I want to master it faster than that. I will work very hard. I will practice everyday, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?”

The teacher thought for a moment, “20 years.”

Too often we try to rush through life and force things to happen before their time, when in reality, what we need is patience and the willingness to let life unfold at its own pace. King Solomon also spoke on this topic when he gave the following piece of advice (Prov 19:2) “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.”

Slow down. Listen more. Be willing to watch and learn. Take advice. Be patient. These are steps along the path to wisdom.

 

Sassy's Book - A Life Worth Living

Chapter 15 of “A Life Worth Living” – Tragedy

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IClick here to read the earlier chapters and learn more about this serial novel

Chapter 15 – Tragedy
(2004)

“Tragedy – when the feelin’s gone and you can’t go on, it’s tragedy.” The Bee Gee’s sang those lyrics back in 1979 but I never really understood them until 2004. I was at one of the high points of my life: Anne and I were engaged, Sassy was healthy and happy, I’d just secured a high paying, exciting new job, we were living in a beautiful new home, and everything was right with the world.

Naturally that’s when tragedy struck — my beloved grandmother Pauline died the day before I was to start my new job!

Now truth be told, my gram had had numerous medical problems during the last twenty or so years of her life – including multiple hip surgeries, high cholesterol which led to heart disease, diabetes, and more. And in the years between 2000 and 2004 she had been having issues with fluid in the lungs leading to congestive heart failure, so she’d been in and out of the hospital a number of times — but she’d always pulled through.

Only this time was different — this time she would not be going home.

It was Easter Sunday, 2004 and things turned so bad so quickly that I didn’t get a chance to get back to Williamsport in time to be by her side. All I could manage to do was  talk with her over the phone on that fateful day — telling her how much I loved her and how she had changed my life in so many ways, while getting just a whisper of a reply of her love in return. It wasn’t enough — for either of us. And I could feel that the separation broke both our hearts. Those raspy whispers of grandmotherly love from so far away still haunt me to this day.

Why was I so affected? Because my gram was one of the driving forces that had helped to turn me into the man I became, she was one of the few people in the world who I KNEW loved me for me no matter what, and she was the foundation of my entire family. I foolishly felt that she would always be around for me — and yet I wasn’t there when she needed me most! The loss shattered me — and if not for Anne and Sassy I don’t know how I could have made it through that dark time.

Things were a bit of a blur for awhile. My new boss was thankfully understanding enough to allow me to delay starting my pharma job while Anne and I rushed off to PA for my grandmother’s funeral (leaving Rose to look after Sassy for a bit). I don’t remember much of trip except that I got a chance to see lots of family members who I hadn’t been around in years.

It was great to be around so many familiar faces from my youth – but it also got me to thinking…

Why does it always take a tragedy to bring families together?

Why must the hustle and bustle of ‘real life’ tear us apart?

Why do we work so hard to build strong ties and work even harder to go off and do our own thing?

These are the questions I was pondering at the time — sadly I still don’t have the answers. 

As for my gram’s funeral, while I don’t recall the mass, but I do have vivid memories of the viewing — it seemed to last for hours as hundreds of people came by to pay their respects to my grandmother and seeing how much she was loved by so many people brought a bit of sunlight to my darkness. And, despite the heartache I was experiencing at the time, there was a bit of humor that I’d be remiss to overlook. As the crowds came through the viewing line and paid their condolences first to my gram’s children (including my father), and then to the grandchildren (including me), I found myself as something of a display item — as countless scores of elderly Italian grandmothers (many whom I’d recognized as long time friends of my gram) commented to each other about how much I was my grandmother’s favorite, her #1, her heart and soul, the pride and joy of her life, etc. I’m sure you can see how this would be both touching to me but also heartrending, but I doubt you can see the humor in it, right? Until you realize that these women were saying all this in front of the other grandkids as well — for you see, Italian grandmothers aren’t shy about speaking their minds…loudly. I don’t think they were intending to insult anyone, but then again I don’t think they really cared if they did — they were simply speaking the truth and it just came natural to them. This was never more evident than when a pair of my gram’s best friends came through the line, held me in awe as “Pauline’s Favorite,” shook my hand with tears in their eyes, and then looked upon my sister Tara sitting next to me and said to each other (words that everyone could hear), “Don’t worry about her, that’s just the sister, and we don’t know the rest, so let’s move on” and then they shuffled away. (I kid you not, this really happened and to this day both Anne (and thankfully Tara!) get a sarcastic laugh out of that experience).

While it was nice to see so many family and friends gather in Williamsport for my grandmother’s funeral, I left with a feeling of unease — after realizing that I had missed so much of my grandmother’s last years, I began to fear that my grandfather would also soon pass – and that I’d experience the same loss with his life as well. After all, my grandparents got married shortly after he came back from World War II and they’d been together for over 60 years! I wasn’t sure how my grandfather would cope with this new change in his life, since he’d relied on my gram for everything. Would he be able to go on? 

In spite of my worries, I knew I couldn’t realistically just up and move back to PA. I had to rely on my parents and relatives back home to take care of my grandfather – thankfully he proved resilient (although I’m sure he had lots of help from his friends – Mr. Coors and Mr. Bud). Meanwhile, I wanted to find a way to capture some of his essence in a memorable way, so I did some research on the topic and stumbled upon the idea of doing a video interview about his life — in which I would ask him a series of questions and let him just talk. Knowing that he was a garrulous man by nature, I figured this would be right up his alley. To accomplish the feat I returned back home a couple months later, and although it took some finagling (and a few Coors), I was finally able to convince my grandpop to sit down with me and chat (with the video camera running in the background).

I’ve got to tell you that this ended up being one of the best family experiences I’ve ever participated in! I came prepared with a long series of questions that covered his whole life, and the more I got him talking (and drinking!) the more he shared (and the more he genuinely seemed to enjoy it too). When it was all said and done I ended up learning more about my grandparents than I’d ever known before, and I felt closer to my grandpop as well – and since he was already one of my favorite persons in the world that’s saying something. In addition, I’d captured a family keepsake in the process – for the video I produced was one that the entire extended family would later enjoy.

But it wasn’t all fun and games – little did I know that one of my questions would spark a bit of a controversy: in an effort to capture a complete history I asked about past loves. Since they’d been married for over 50 years I figured it was harmless, right? Wrong. Oh sure, my grandfather had no trouble boasting about his prior girlfriends (especially during his days in the Marines). In fact he laughed long and proud about his clever way to keep up with them all (“I just sent them all the same love letter but changed the name at the top”); and he even made fun of himself when he revealed that he once made the mistake of sending copies of his love  letter to two girls who lived in the same town and who were friends (“Imagine their surprise when they both read my letter and it said that each was the only one for me! That took a bit of explaining to overcome.”). But my grandpop was not quite so keen to talk about my grandmother’s prior boyfriends (“She didn’t have any,” he professed) and when I related to him that she and other family members had told me that she once had a date with another boy in town while my grandpop was away at the war, he dismissed it as rubbish. At the time I merely accepted his word and moved on with the interview. Yet little did I know that he did not forget that bit of gossip – and for months afterward I (and other family members) would get calls from him to dispute the fact that my gram had ever had any boyfriends before him – he had various ‘proofs’ of this, to include even calling into question the alleged boyfriend’s sexual preference. It was quite hilarious to see him go to such lengths and my father, uncles, and I had quite a few laughs about it all. Who knew, right?

In any case, as much fun as it was to share such memories, eventually I had to get back to the real world and to the business of living my own life. No one could ever replace either of my grandparents and I was still grateful that I at least had my grandfather around and I was happy to see him start to recover. As for my gram, not only would I always have the memories with me of how she changed my life, but I had something else that always reminded me of her as well – Sassy — for as I’ve said before, and as you’ll continue to see, Sassy and my gram were cut from the same cloth of souls.

I honestly believe that having Sassy by my side every day helped to ease my pains and bring me joy again. I just prayed I could do the same for her…

 

Sassy’s Life Lesson #15 – Tragedy strikes us all

We’ve talked numerous times about the fact that Life is filled with ups and downs. Recall the following lessons: Chapter 8 – Nothing Lasts Forever, Chapter 13 – A Time for Everything, and Chapter 14 – For Every Action, a Reaction. Once again we’re reminded of how fickle life can be.

Our friend Solomon has another great quote for us. This one is from Ecclesiastes 9:12 — “No one knows when their hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.”

Tragedy is real. Death is a certainty for us all. There is no guarantee of tomorrow. We know all these things and yet we still take life for granted. Perhaps it’s just another of our fatal flaws? As a result, we’re always left to wonder – oh, what might have been?

But there is hope. You can break a portion of this vicious cycle. The first awareness of how fragile life is. The second step is taking action – do what we’ve talked about so many times: LIVE…LOVE…and TELL others how much you love them. Don’t wait to do these things – do them right now. After all, there is no other moment in time during which you have control then “NOW” – so make the most of it.

 

Points to Ponder

Can you recall an unexpected tragedy that occurred in your life? What do you wish you would have done differently BEFORE the event happened? What did you learn from the experience?

Most importantly of all, what are you doing differently now to make sure you have no regrets when the NEXT tragedy strikes?

Sassy's Book - A Life Worth Living

Chapter 14 of “A Life Worth Living” – For Every Action, a Reaction

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IClick here to read the earlier chapters and learn more about this serial novel

Chapter 14 – For Every Action, a Reaction
(2004)

For every action there is a reaction and 2004 continued to prove the validity of that wisdom to us.

Although friends came and went in Sassy’s life, our little yorkie continued to flourish in her new home. As I mentioned before, Sassy’s pleasures were simple: she loved listening to music, she ate food in a style similar to Garfield, and most of all, she enjoyed just sitting in the sun on the back patio or watching the world go by via the window next to the front door. It was a simple life. She was happy.

“Our small lanai is nice, but how about we extend it like Tommy’s?” I asked Anne. “Look at how additional space they have under their extended roof?”

“I love the idea, Michael.” Anne agreed. “But if you’re gonna have a contractor out to do it, I want them to also screen in the front door area too – you have no idea how dirty that space gets!”

“Cool your breeches,woman.” I laughed, using one of my dad’s favorite expressions. I was happy to see Anne agreeing with me but not so thrilled to have her driving up the price of the project. “Let’s get some quotes first, ok? Then we can decide what things we can afford?”

Anne wasn’t amused, “All I’m saying, Michael, is that if there’s enough money to get what you want, then there better be enough to get what I want too. After all, what I’m asking for is only a tiny area – much smaller than your new room.”

“Ok, ok, we’ll see.” I smiled winsomely, hoping she’d forget.

I’m guessing you can figure out what happened next – oh I got the patio extension out back (adding a couple hundred square feet of “indoor-out” space under a covered roof), and of course, Anne got her wish as well since we screened in the front door area. In addition, the contractor told Anne that if we used an extended kickplate, it would keep out even more dirt – that was all Anne had to hear to be sold on the idea and so we ended up with 18-inch kick-plate that lined both the front and back extensions.

“Looking good, huh?” I surveyed ‘my work’ while enjoying a beer under the new back patio. Little did I realize that my satisfaction would be short lived.

“Honey, you’d better come and see this.” Anne called to me from inside. “We have a problem.”

Dreading those words, I set down my beer and begrudgingly made my way in.

“Look at Sassy.” Anne pointed.

Sassy was sitting in one of her beds – in this case the one that gave her a view out the window by the front door. But, enjoying one of her favorite past times and looking through the window to the world outside, now Sassy was just lying in her bed with a hang dog look.

“What’s the matter, girl?” I knelt down beside her to pet her — and then immediately saw the problem.

“She can’t–” Anne began.

“See outside.” I interrupted. “We blocked her view with that dang kickplate!”

It’s true – while that extended kickplate may have done a great job keeping out dust, it did an even better job of obstructing Sassy’s view. Worse yet, this wasn’t just a problem in the front — that kickplate lined the entire back patio too. This meant that Sassy had now gone from having a clear view of the entire backyard and front walkway to having NO view of it! And on top of that there was no way for us to change it – unless we wanted to have the contractor come back and redo a significant portion of the work – which wasn’t really an option because we didn’t have the funds in our budget to spend.

“I feel terrible.” Anne picked up Sassy. “We’re so sorry, girl.”

“What about if we open up the screen door in the back so she can lay in the grass?” I struggled for a solution.

“First off, you know as well as I that Sassy doesn’t spend any more time in the grass than she needs to. Secondly, she’s so small I’m afraid a hawk might come by and pick her up.” And here Anne proceeded to remind me again about recent news articles that described two separate incidents of small dogs being carried away by large birds.

“Perhaps we can just leave the screen door open in the back so Sassy can at least look out?”

Anne thought about it. “Well, it defeats the purpose of keeping out the dust, but it will have to do…for now.”

So, in the end, we lived with a little dust out back and Sassy still got to enjoy a portion of her view. Unfortunately she lost the ability to enjoy any view through the front door – and this lost vision was perhaps an ominous sign of the shape of things to come…

***

Meanwhile, I had a new job to focus on.

It’s kind of funny to see how interrelated life is. It’s been said that people come and go in your life for a reason – if you are open to the possibilities — I believe Liz was one of those people.I’d spent seven years building a career in insurance with USAA and really loved the company, my friends there, and the work itself. What’s interesting is that fairly early on during my time at USAA (prior to ever meeting Anne), Liz was my original supervisor and later one of my sales managers — she’d helped me to take advantage of a couple opportunities that propelled my career forward. As a result, I’d gained experience in a variety of capacities within the insurance world including sales, claims adjusting, underwriting, and sales management. I’d also acquired so many continuing education designations that I needed two nameplates to showcase them all. Because of my experience and educational success I like to think I was a rising star within USAA, as I’d built a great reputation and by the early 2000’s I was repeatedly offered new opportunities for advancement. However two things were working against me: I was getting pressure to transfer to the home office in San Antonio in order to rise higher in the ranks (while I probably would have done that, Anne had no desire to move to San Antonio) and unless I could rise a lot higher, my financial prospects were limited.

Now as I noted previously, Liz had left USAA in 2003 to get into the pharmaceutical world, and since initially everything was still great with her and Kris, we were all still friends back then — as a result, I got a chance to do a few ‘ride-alongs’ with her and really learn what the pharma business was all about. Once I realized the kind of money Liz was making (almost double what I was as a sales manager at USAA), I knew I owed it to myself and my future family to learn more.

To be honest with you, I’d never pictured myself in a medical career path before and my only prior experience with a pharma opportunity was this: upon graduating from college in 1993 I had one interview with Pfizer and as I’d done no preparation for the interview and balked when they talked about all the travel, I didn’t get that job and really never had any further desire to break into that field. Quite frankly I felt that pharma reps were just a bunch of overpaid hype artists who were part of the problem as to why medical costs were so expensive in this country. However after doing those ride-alongs with Liz, I got a chance to see her in action and better understand the value of her relationships with her customers; in addition, I realized that I too could thrive in such an environment (self-directed outside sales, the opportunity to manage a territory as my personal business, etc). As a result, I revised my views about pharma reps and decided to look into the opportunities that might be available to me too.

Back in 2004, it was still relatively difficult to get into the world of pharma — unless you were recruited out of college, had a medical background, or knew somebody, you’re only choice was to go to job fairs and cattle call interviews. Since there weren’t any openings with Liz’s company, my prospects were nil to start with. Although I felt like I’d built a resume that showed a history of success in sales and management at USAA, I knew my lack of medical experience and my lack of contacts in the industry might pose a problem, so rather than just follow the job fair crowd, I decided to do some research about how best to break in. I’d read a few books on how to become a pharma rep and applied the techniques – fully expecting it would take me multiple attempts to break into the industry and setting a goal of getting an offer within six months to a year.

When I felt like I was ready to finally interview I went to a job fair with a company called “Aventis” in the spring of 2004. When I showed up at the interview site I received quite a shock — there were about 500 people already in line! Suddenly the term cattle-call finally made sense to me. As the line slowly moved, I got closer and closer to the interview room. All along I continued to remind myself of my interview best practices (I was known among my friends and work colleagues as a bit of a guru on the subject of how to interview and truth be told I was the one who helped Liz develop her brag book and prepare for her pharma interview the year prior). Even still, I wasn’t sure my techniques would work in such an environment – where time was so tight and I might not get a chance to employ my special techniques.

When I finally got into the room, I took stock of my surroundings – there were three interviewers set up around the conference room, each conducting an interview. I was directed to the next available interviewer. The man introduced himself as “Thomas Cruise” and took a brief look at my resume. I made an attempt to break the ice by commenting on his name  (probably not the brightest thing to do since he’d surely heard the comparisons to the actor about a million times already that day) – strike one! Without even a smile, Mr. Cruise then asked me to briefly describe my work experience to him, which I proceeded to do — but as I was talking I noticed an ominous sight — my interviewer appeared bored with me and was actually looking around the room at other people – strike two! Getting a bit frustrated by Mr. Cruise’s lack of respect, feeling like I’d already blown this opportunity, and figuring I had nothing to lose I stopped talking about myself.

“Mr. Cruise, it sure seems to me like you’re not interested in what I have to say,” I advised calmly (although I was anything but).  “So here’s what I’m gonna do – how about I ask you what kind of people you need on your team  and then tell you how I can fill that need.”  

Not only did I not strike out, but I felt like I hit a solid single because Mr. Cruise’s demeanor completely changed!

“Call me, Tom.” He smiled. “Can you come back in a couple hours for a second interview?”

As it turned out, not only did I get a second (much longer) interview with Tom later that day, but I also got another with his boss a few days later. During those meetings I used a variety of interview skills to control the discussion and move myself forward in the process, including using a well-validated brag book, a powerpoint presentation about my plans for the territory, memorizing the drug’s package insert and then using it to conduct a mock sales call (naturally remembering my ‘ABC’s’ and closing the deal at the end), and even giving a small gift for the interviewer — in Tom’s case I’d learned that he was a baseball fan and so I brought him one of my authentic team hats from the Little League World Series memorabilia I had at home — it turned out to be a great ‘investment on my part because I got the job! In fact, I was one of only two people to receive an offer out of the 500+ applicants (with the other person an already experienced pharma rep).

“I knew you could do it!” Anne smiled as she held Sassy in her arms when I returned home later that day. “So what now?”

“I guess I give my notice to USAA.” I replied, showering both of them with kisses in my joy. “They want me to start in April – we have some kind of national meeting in Vegas.”

“I’m so happy for you.” Anne replied. “I know you worked so hard and you really deserve it. You’re going to be great.”

“I’m happy for us, honey! Here we are in this new house, we’re happy, we’re healthy, and our whole lives are before us. Soon we’ll be married, then have kids, and the rest is history!”

Ah, if only life was so easy, right? Little did I know that my world was about to turn upside down due to an expected family tragedy…

 

Sassy’s Life Lesson #14 – For Every Action, A Reaction. 

We got a new patio extension…Sassy lost her view. I got a new job in pharmaceuticals…and I gave up a promising career in insurance that, looking back now, would have easily carried me through to a secure retirement without the many headaches that were soon to come in the medical field. Such is life – for every action, there is a reaction.

Solomon spoke a bit on this subject and I’d like to submit his words for your review. (Eccl 7: 14) “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.”

The fact of the matter is that life has it’s up’s and down’s. We can’t enjoy good times every day of our lives. The scales of life always seek to find a balance. That’s why it’s so critical that we make every effort to enjoy each moment. As Henry David Thoreau once said, we need to ‘suck the marrow’ out of life each day. Pay attention to your opportunities to enjoy life and when given the chance do just that. You never know what awaits you on the morrow.

 

Points to Ponder

What are some examples in your life where you’ve experienced an Action/Reaction situation? Is there anything you would have done differently?

Is there anything you’re considering now that might lead to an Action/Reaction situation? Perhaps it might be worthwhile to talk things out with a trusted advisor.

 

Life Lessons

Today is Eternity

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Here’s an quote that struck me as interesting. Tell me what you think….

Today means boundless and inexhaustible eternity. Months, years, and all periods of time are merely concepts of men, who gauge everything by the number, but the true name of our eternity is Today
Philo of Alexandria

 

We’ve talked about this concept in the past – TODAY, this very moment, is the only period during which you are actually alive. Understand this and make the most of each and every moment you’re blessed with on this earth.

Life Lessons

Scouts: Chief Sequasa’s Mountain

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I’ve enjoyed hearing Jax’s scout master share ancient wisdom from the illustrious Chief Sequasa during their pack meetings. Here’s one you might enjoy as well…

Legend of the Mountain

“There was once an Indian village on a wide open desert in the Southwest. A few miles across the desert is a high mountain, towering up out of the desert. One day, Chief Sequasa gathered all the young boys that were not yet braves to him, “It is time for you to all climb the great mountain. Tomorrow morning, start right after breakfast, and go each of you as far as you can. Then when you are tired, come back; but let each one bring me a twig off a tree from the place where he turned back.”

The next morning, away they went full of hope each feeling that he surely could reach the top. But soon the first returned slowly back, and in his hand he held out to the Chief a leaf of cactus. Chief Sequasa smiled, “My boy, you did not reach the foot of the mountain, you did not even get across the desert.”

Later, a second boy returned. He carried a twig of sagebrush. “Well,” said the Chief, “You reached the mountain’s foot but you did not climb upward.”

The next had a cottonwood spray. “Good”, said Sequasa, “You got up as far as the clear springs.”

Another came later with some buckthorn. The Chief smiled when he saw it and said: “You were climbing; you were up to the first slide rock.”

Late in the afternoon, one arrived with a cedar spray, and the old man said, “Well done. You went half way up and reached the forest.”

Before sunset, one came with a switch of pine. To him the Sequasa said, “Good, you went to the high forest; you made three quarters of the climb.”

The sun was down when the last finally returned. His hand was empty as he approached the Chief, and the other Indian boys began to laugh and tease that he had not even tried the climb.  But his face was radiant, and he said: “Great Chief Sequasa, there were no trees where I climbed; there were no twigs, but I saw the shining sea far away.”

Now the old man’s face glowed, too, as he said aloud and almost sang: “You have been to the top. It is written in your eyes, and rings in your voice. My boy, you have seen the glory of the mountain. You need no twigs for proof.””

My question for you is — what mountain is it time for YOU to climb and what great sights await you on the other side?

Life Lessons

On Change – Rumi

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
Rumi

Wisdom can come from many sources — if you’re not yet familiar with the Persian poet Rumi who lived in the 1200’s, perhaps now is the time to look further into his work. This quote is just a small sample of the wisdom he shared with the world, but as you can see, if you ponder these words, they can change your life.

Life Lessons

Honoring Wives and Mothers – Solomon’s Message

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You may know The Book of Proverb’s for the pithy sayings and wisdom tips, but did you know that there’s a wonderful passage that honors wives and mothers? Consider the following from Proverbs: 31: 10-31

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Sassy's Book - A Life Worth Living

Chapter 13 of A Life Worth Living – A Time for Everything

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Chapter 13 of “A Life Worth Living – The Story of Sassy”

Click here to read the earlier chapters and learn more about this serial novel

Chapter 13 – A Time for Everything
(2004)

And so everything worked out for the best and we all lived happily ever after. Well – not exactly.

As you know Life isn’t always a fairy tale. 2004 was a year that had its up’s and down’s and in that regard it was a microcosm of life experiences for Anne, Sassy, and I, as well as many of the people in our circle of friends.

On a positive note, Sassy was having a blast in our new house – between being able to sun herself on the back patio, to watching the goings-on in front of our house through the window beside the front door, to listening to new age music by the giant speakers on our TV, to being totally spoiled by Anne and I, it’s safe to say that Sassy was on top of the world — and now that we were ‘officially’ her parents we doted with joy at her every move.

OK, perhaps that’s a bit of a stretch — to be honest, Sassy had her moments.  Now that she was the undisputed queen of the roost, Sassy did her best to live up to that title. Very early on she discovered the pantry closet in the house and realized its purpose was to store food inside (both hers and ours — the latter of which she felt was hers as well). We quickly lost count of the times that Sassy tried raiding the pantry – working her way between the accordion doors and in to the closet – only to be frustrated that she could smell the food but never quite get to it because all the shelves were out of her reach. Inevitably this led to her barking, which in turn compelled us to give her a treat (once again rewarding her bad behavior and causing Anne and I to fail Parenting Lesson #101).

The same cycle happened if we left a something on the counter that Sassy wanted – she’d whine and bark, we’d give in, and she’d get her way. Case in point — when Anne and I brought home a crate of oranges for juicing and threw the rinds in the trash can, Sassy had such a fit that she ‘didn’t get her fair share’ (trust me, she had plenty!) that it was one of her worst tantrums ever – complete with throwing herself on the ground, running around in circles, and letting out an unrelenting series of demanding ‘I want it now’ barks that even Veruka Salt would have been proud of. The end result: Sassy got more oranges!

Meanwhile, Sassy was also growing bolder about acting up away from the house. One such incident occurred at a party at Liz and Kris’s house, who in spite of their troubles, they were still together and trying to work things out. Now that Anne and I lived just five minutes away, we got the opportunity to spend even more time with Liz and Kris and were all to happy to ‘help’ them enjoy their beautiful lake house. As we prepared to go over one Saturday, Anne and I felt guilty about leaving Sassy at home again when we knew we’d likely be at Liz’s house most of the day, so we decided to take her with us, hoping she’d be able to relax and enjoy the afternoon with us.

It had been some time since Sassy’s last visit to the lake and we figured that if we kept her close to us maybe she could fly under the radar with Gabby. That turned out to be a poor plan — as soon as Gabby saw her, she let Sassy have it with a full-on close-talker bark right in the face, and that was pretty much it for Sassy, who promptly demanded that either Anne or I get her away from the white maniac that kept chasing her. However holding Sassy did little good — Gabby just stood up next to our chair and barked all the more. I tried to get Gabby, Peter, and Sassy to play nicely — but to no avail. Gabby wanted everyone to play her game (hide and seek) but she was so fast that Peter and Sassy never had a chance to hide (much less escape). It was amusing to watch — at first — until it became apparent that Sassy wasn’t really playing and that her sole mission was to get away from Gabby. At one point, I saw Sassy run faster than I’d ever seen her run before — hightailing it around a sofa and racing towards me with wild eyes begging to be rescued while Gabby was right on her tail. I relented and picked Sassy up, just before Gabby ran in to me and demanded with a flurry of barks that I put Sassy back down again.

“It’s not working.” I lamented to Anne as I handed her Sassy. “I’m going outside to the dock to relax.”

“Well what should I do?” Anne asked, holding Sassy in one hand, while using the other to keep Gabby at bay.

I pretended not to hear as I raced outside, “Boz, you got that jet ski ready?” (Knowing I would pay for all this later).

And so the afternoon unfolded. Anne and I eventually tried taking Sassy outside so she could enjoy herself and perhaps find a quiet place to herself — on the dock, the patio, the yard, and more – but to no avail – wherever Sassy went, there Gabby wanted to be too. Sassy’s only comfort was in our laps and she did her best to make holding her as easy as possible — morphing in to a black and tan puffball and not letting out a peep (hoping against hope that Gabby wouldn’t see her). For her part, Gabby would take the hint for a half hour or so, but she always returned with renewed hopes that eventually Sassy would be ready to play — clearly she didn’t know Sassy very well.

Meanwhile, Sassy had other things on her mind besides just avoiding Gabby — as I’ve mentioned before Sassy was a foodie. And what do you tend to find a lot at parties? Food. It didn’t take Sassy long to figure out that as she was sitting as the table with Anne and I, there was a smorgasbord of food right before her eyes. Sure Anne and I gave her a taste or two, and Sassy had access to Gabby and Peter’s food and water all day, but those scraps didn’t cut it in Sassy’s mind. She wanted more of the food on the table. Now had this happened at home, Sassy would have solved the problem by throwing a tantrum until she got what she wanted, but that wasn’t an option here because Sassy was smart enough to know that if she barked and blew here cover, Gabby would be at her side much faster than Sassy could get any food. Alas, what could she do?

Hours went by as little Sassy’s mind worked — in the end, the food drove her crazy and she began to silently but forcefully Sassy squirm her way out of Anne’s lap and onto the table.

“Sassy, no!” Anne reprimanded her, but Sassy just wiggled all the more and Anne was on the verge of dropping her. “Michael, you gotta help me out here.”

“Oh just put her down,” Liz waved me away and pointed to Gabby in her lap – the maltese sleeping peacefully. “Gabby won’t bother her anymore.”

Anne took Liz’s advice and put Sassy down next to Peter, who was his usual ever-calm self. For a moment it appeared that maybe Sassy and Peter would be able to relax by themselves for a change. Unfortunately the moment didn’t last — as soon as Sassy’s legs hit the ground, some sort of sensor must have gone off inside Gabby because she immediately woke up, and before Liz could stop her, Gabby jumped on the floor and was barking at in Sassy’s face again, demanding that she finally play. The sudden fright turned Peter’s knees to jelly and he quickly scampered outside to relieve himself, while Sassy panicked and came scurrying over to me. Seeing the desperation in her eyes, I picked her up to rescue her yet again. Needless to say, our dreams of Sassy (or ourselves!) being able to enjoy a relaxing day at the lake never did materialize — and things were only about to get worse — little did we know that Sassy had a trick up her sleeve to get back us for subjecting her to this torture.

As the sun set on the lake, Anne and I continued to share “Sassy duty” – made all the more complicated because of Sassy’s constant desire for the food on the table. Things finally boiled over when the group began passing around Anne’s beanie-weenie dish and Sassy was then forced to endure repeated whiffs of those mini hot dogs in a savory glaze wafting by her nose every few minutes. Since I was never a fan of that dish, I wasn’t paying much attention to the impending doom that was brewing — instead I was in the middle of playing cards with Kris and The Boz, while Anne, Liz, and Cindy were talking about work. The hot-dog bowl kept getting passed around – always on top of the table – and whenever it would pass I would see a little black paw emerge from Anne’s lap, only to be pushed back each time; that is until one pass during which the bowl came a bit too close to the edge, and Sassy, who had apparently secretly maneuvered herself into a forward position on Anne’s lap, finally struck – pulling the whole bowl towards herself with her paws and diving face-first into the hot dogs!

“Sassy, no!” Anne was horrified, while the guys and I laughed. “It’s not funny, Michael! Help me clean her up. I’m so sorry, every–” But then Anne burst out laughing too, because as she held up Sassy, she couldn’t help but be amused by the sight: there was Sassy, her face and fur covered in a thick BBQ glaze, and with a couple mini-dogs still sticking out of her mouth (but only for a moment as she quickly chomped them down).

And so Sassy got what she wanted yet again — then after a quick bath she promptly went to sleep on Anne’s lap for the rest of the night.

Score another one for Yorkie Nation.

*****

Speaking of Yorkie Nation – Sassy inspired multiple friends of ours to take the “Yorkie Plunge.”

First there was Cindy – who showed up at the lake house one day with a tiny black puffball that she proudly held in her hands for all to see.

“It looks like a bat,” The Boz laughed, pointing out the humongous ears that Lacy had yet to grow in to.

“Her name is Lacy.” Cindy ignored The Boz’s comments as she fawned on the teacup sized Yorkie.  “She’s mine and I love her. Now I’ll never be alone.” That last was said in a near-whisper and perhaps more to herself than the group — for Cindy was ever at-odds with her love life and many of those in our group wondered if she had yet to figure out where her true attractions lied since she appeared to be in-love with Liz more than anyone else.

But we’ll return to Lacy in a moment, meanwhile let me tell you about Bailey. He was the yorkie who our new neighbors Tom and Kim adopted about six months after we moved in to our house on Billingham Drive. It’s said that “good neighbors are priceless” and one of the great things about our new neighborhood was that Anne and I quickly discovered we were surrounded by not just good, but truly great neighbors. Our favorites were a Hungarian couple (Aniko and Alex) who lived directly across from us, and The Barrett’s (Tom, Kim, and their son Nick) who lived beside us. In the case of the latter, they proved their worth the very first week we were there. Here’s how: always one to help out with yard work, Anne was busy doing a task I hated — going around the house with a weed eater while I mowed the front lawn. In and of itself that should have been a harmless proposition, but what Anne didn’t realize was that I had replaced the standard weed wire with some hopped-up ‘grass gator’ blades (in retrospect perhaps that was a mistake or maybe I should have just read the directions?). The end result: Anne cut right through our sprinkler water supply pipes (like butter) with the new weed destroying blades and in moments <whoosh!> water was soon gushing everywhere! Knowing what I know now (from numerous later instances like this) I believe that buying a first home should require new homeowners to take some sort of basic-skills course because Anne and I were totally unprepared for what to do.

“Turn the water off, Michael!” Anne screamed in a panic as I stopped the mower.

“How do I do that?” I replied desperately, feeling helpless and knowing that if my father were here he’d be laughing at me with I-Told-You-So eyes because this was yet another example of something to do with manual labor that I hadn’t paid attention to when I was younger.

“You gotta find the water main, honey.” Anne commanded.

“Ok, and where’s that?” I ran over to inspect the damage, getting soaked in the process from the 2-inch gas in the PVC pipe that was now spouting water 10 feet into the air.

Thankfully our new neighbor Tom was also outside, and when he heard us struggling to figure out what to do, he was Johnny-on-the-spot and quickly handled the situation: turning off the water, then fixing the pipe with spare parts he had on hand, and finally giving us a beer when the ordeal was over. That was when we discovered that Tom and Kim both worked for a brewery and that their fridge in the garage was always stocked with beer – Yuengling beer to be exact, a mighty fine brew. As you might imagine, we became fast friends (hey I may be dumb when it comes to household chores, but I never said I was stupid!)

Over time, we learned that Tommy was a man’s man — in addition to working for the brewery, he liked classic cars, all kinds of sports, and proved time and again that he was handy around the house (which was good because we’d later need his help on many more occasions). Since I’m not into cars and I’ve never been much of a handy man, I’m not sure what that makes me, but the point here is that Tommy was probably the last guy you’d ever picture with a tiny yorkie for a dog. Yet that’s exactly what happened when Kim brought home a 12-month old puppy named “Bailey” one afternoon and Tommy was suddenly forced to accept the fact that he was now the father of a yorkie (and not the bulldog he’d apparently always wanted).

“Look on the bright side, Tommy,” Anne laughed as we all sat in Tommy’s garage and enjoyed a beer, “at least you don’t have to walk around the neighborhood with a pink leash like Michael has to with Sassy.”

Tommy wasn’t amused. “Mark my words, you all won’t catch that dog up on the furniture in my house.”

“We’ll see, Mr. Big Talker.” Anne smiled. “After all, Sassy not only gets on our furniture, she sleeps in our bed.”

Tommy stopped short on taking another sip and instead looked at me like he wanted to revoke my Man Card.

“It’s true.” I said, holding Sassy in one arm and a Yuengling lager in the other. “Cheers, my friend. This will be you too soon enough.”

“That’ll never happen in the Barrett household.” Tommy advised. “You can take that to the bank.”

As it turned out, Bailey was in Tom and Kim’s bed at night within a month — a little nugget that Tommy let slip one evening after work and one that Anne still ribs him about to this day — for Tommy, like all Yorkie owners that I know of, quickly fell head-over-heels for his new friend.

As for Sassy, she loved Bailey. They became fast friends because Bailey was just Sassy’s speed – slow and steady. Whenever we went out for a walk, Sassy would always try to make her way over to see Bailey first, for such was her attachment to him. 

*****

I’d love to be able to write that things went all peachy for Bailey and Sassy from there, but alas that’s not what happened in real life. Around the six month mark, Bailey went to the vet for a relatively simple teeth cleaning — and that’s where things went horribly wrong; it seems that when the vet tech put Bailey under to perform the cleaning, she nicked Bailey’s trachea with the anesthesia tube — an injury that wasn’t discovered until well after the procedure was over, which in turn caused the damage to worsen.

Kim fought back tears as she struggled to explain things to us that evening, “After Bailey woke up, they finally realized there was a problem — every time he takes a breath, air gets sucked in through his trachea and released into his body.”

“Oh, Kim, I’m so sorry.” Anne soothed. “But what does alls this mean for Bailey? Is this something serious?”

“Bailey can’t get rid of the air he’s taking in to his body and now he’s blowing up like a balloon!” Kim replied.

I couldn’t help picturing Violet Beauregard who turned into that giant blueberry in Willie Wonka and the thought was scary for such a little dog. “It sounds very serious – so how can Bailey get rid of that air?”

“That’s the problem. He can’t get rid of the air on his own!” Kim cried. “This is life threatening because with no way for Bailey to release the air trapped in places inside his body it’s not supposed to be, there’s a very real chance he could…he could…” She couldn’t say the word and things hung in the air for a moment.

“What now?” Anne whispered, breaking the silence.

“Our vet has already sent Bailey to the emergency vet to perform a trach repair. We’re hoping this can save him.” And Kim paused a moment before adding, “But nobody knows for sure.”

“Well that vet sure better be paying for all this.” I decried, trying to take the focus off the doom and gloom medical part of things. Not realizing that Anne’s sudden stepping on my foot was a perhaps a hint that my new subject wasn’t any better, I continued, “A trip to the ER vet is no joke and it was clearly negligence on their part.”

“We’ll see, I just want him back.” Kim sobbed.

“How are Tommy and Nick.” Anne asked.

“They’re both a mess.” Kim replied. “Tommy is angry and Nick won’t come out of his room. We all love Bailey so much. You know how it is with Sassy.”

“Indeed we do.” Anne hugged Kim and we all prayed for a good outcome.

Thankfully our prayers we’re answered in this case. After a $20,000+ vet bill, Bailey made it through – the only caveat was that he couldn’t use a standard leash any more or engage in any activity that put pressure on this throat. As Bailey was always a bit of a gentle soul these requirements didn’t seem to bother him all that much and he was none the worse for wear over the long run.

*****

Unfortunately Lacy’s story didn’t end so well. As it turned out, Lacy’s trouble was a function of Cindy’s failed love life. Although Lacy and Cindy got along great and Lacy appeared to be flourishing in her new home, the honeymoon ended before it ever really started.

Cindy was in tears as she told us the story one day at Liz’s house, “That bastard Keith let her out while I was gone and claimed she got lost on her own!”

“What do you mean?” Liz asked. “He just opened the door and she didn’t come back?”

“What I mean is that Keith hated Lacy to begin with. He said he wasn’t a dog person but that he would put up with her ‘for my sake.’ But I’m telling you all right now that Keith did something to her!”

“Come on, Cindy, nobody would be that mean, right?” I wondered.

“Yes, surely Lacy is just lost and will return soon.” Anne chimed in. “Perhaps she got out and somebody found her and doesn’t know how to find you?”

“Tell us again, what happened.” Liz said.

“Arg. I went out of town for work and asked Keith to watch Lacy for me.” Cindy explained. “He didn’t want to do it but I told him I would break up with him if he didn’t help me out. Eventually the jerk said he’d do it, but then when I got back Lacy wasn’t there. Keith tried to play it off like it was no big deal – said he opened the door for Lacy to go outside to potty and she just never came out. I told the idiot before I left to never let Lacy out on her own but Keith didn’t listen! He said he’s only been around big dogs and they take care of themselves so he figured that was the same for all dogs.”

“But Lacy isn’t a big dog, she’s just a little yorkie.” Anne was shocked.

“I knew this would happen!” Cindy hit herself. “I knew this would happen. Keith hated Lacy. Did you know he tried to roll over on her in bed a couple times? It’s true. But luckily I’m a light sleeper so I always stopped him. I hate that man. I was going to break up with him anyway. I don’t know why I didn’t do it before I left. I don’t know why I let him watch my little Lacy. Oh, I hate myself. I ha–”

“Sshhh.” Liz held Cindy as she sobbed.

“What can we do to help?” I asked. “Can we search the neighborhood?”

“It’s been…two weeks.” Cindy said through her tears. “Lacy is gone.”

As it turned out, Lacy never did turn up. Being that we live in Florida and Cindy’s home was on a conservation (read: swamp), I hesitate to think what might have happened to Lacy if she ventured too far back into the woods on her own. Sadly, the mystery was never solved. As Lacy wasn’t wearing any dog tags at the time of her disappearance (and since this was prior to GPS insertions), Anne and I have always preferred to think that perhaps Lacy was found by someone else and raised in a loving home. Lacy really was a beautiful, loving little puppy and we like to believe that God protected her in her ordeal. Even still, we felt horrible for Cindy.

“I can’t imagine going through that.” Anne whispered to me in bed that evening.

“Me too.” I could barely reply as I continued to pet Sassy who was asleep on a pillow between us. “I wouldn’t wish something like that on my worst enemy.”

“Hopefully Cindy will feel better soon.”

Anne’s wish wasn’t granted in this case — worse yet the loss of Lucy was just the first of Cindy’s personal trials that year: obviously her relationship with Keith didn’t work out, but on top of that she lost her job, and then went into a downward spiral — all of which we heard second hand over the course of the next few months from Liz since Cindy suddenly fell out of our circle of friends.

Yet Cindy wasn’t the only one with problems – Liz and Kris began having problems again too. When Liz left USAA to pursue a career in pharmaceuticals it sounded like a great opportunity, but it came with unforeseen consequences. The USAA building in Tampa houses about 2500 employees – many of them in their 20’s and 30’s, with a higher percentage of women than men. Quite frankly it’s a guy’s paradise because the dating pool is massive. Prior to his marriage to Liz, Kris was notorious for moving from one girl to the next before the last relationship ended. That was actually the script with how he met Liz too. Now Liz was obviously well aware of this – but so long as she worked at USAA with Kris, she’d always been able to keep an eye on him. However Liz left USAA in late 2003, and once she did, perhaps it should have been obvious what would happen — Liz grew jealous and suspicious about what Kris might be up to with so many ladies to catch his eye. She tried enlisting Anne, The Boz, and I to report on Kris – but none of us agreed to be a spy. As you might imagine accusations soon started flying and one thing inevitably led to another. By mid-2004 things were getting grim and in a few more months it was over. The end came while I was out of town doing training for a new job, and Anne spent her birthday helping Liz secretly move out of the lake house while Kris was at work.

Just like that Liz was gone, Kris was alone at the house, and their marriage was in shambles. As so often happens in these cases, things got nasty, quickly. Worse yet, each of them wanted Anne and I to pick a side, and when we said we couldn’t do that because they were both our friends, that didn’t work out too well either. We tried to support them both through their trying times but Liz and Anne’s ‘sisterhood’ was never the same. In fact, Liz soon fell out of our lives all together and sadly we’ve never seen her since. Meanwhile, Kris was at his wits end as Liz began to force a liquidation of their assets – which meant Kris had to sell his treasured lake property (the only consolation being that, at the time, the real estate market was so high he got a pretty penny on the sale). Kris then moved in to one of the condo’s he and Liz owned and hoped that at least his budding real estate empire (focused on flipping condos) would continue to work out (especially since he was making $20-50,000 a pop!) — it didn’t. Things began to turn south in the Florida real estate market as early as 2005 and all too soon Kris found himself holding a number of upside down condo units that would eventually drain him to his last dime.

As you can see, things were a mess for our best friends, and there was little we could do to help them. 

Now while all this was going on, Anne and I were still trying to plan our wedding. Originally we’d planned to get married on the beach in Siesta Key in the fall of 2004 – surrounded by our family and friends. That didn’t quite work out. For one thing, our friend’s lives were in disrepair and therefore we didn’t know who would even come; for another I left USAA to start a new job during this time and couldn’t take vacation that quickly; and on top of that Siesta Key and the surrounding beaches were destroyed by multiple hurricanes during the summer of 2004 (the most notable being Hurricane Charlie).

Like a hurricane, questions swirled around us. We knew our wedding would have to wait but for how long? What could Anne and I do to help our relationship survive when so many around us were faltering – were we simply to be doomed to the same fate? And what would all this mean for Sassy?

 

Sassy’s Life Lesson #13 – A Time for Everything. 

This chapter showed us numerous examples of the up’s and down’s of life. From the simple (Sassy’s quest for hot dogs and Anne weed-whacking the water pipes) to the sublime (Cindy’s loss of Lucy and Bailey’s medical ordeal). Meanwhile we saw relationships end, new friendships made while others got cast away, and weddings delayed. Truly it was a time for everything.

One of King Solomon’s most often quoted passages comes from Ecclesiastes (3:1-8). I’m sure you’ve heard at least a snippet of it, but it’s so beautiful, so full of wisdom, and applies so perfectly to our discussion that I’d like to share the entire passage with you…

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to harvest;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather them together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain;
a time to keep searching, and a time to give up;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear apart, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent, and a time to speak up;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Wow – there’s so much here to chew on for wisdom seekers: the seasons of life, the importance of patience, acting at the proper time, and even the beauty of life’s balance. I encourage you to save this passage somewhere and refer to it often because this, my friends, is one of life’s guideposts.

BONUS TIP: for ideas to improve your Time Management, be sure to see my post about “Using Time Wisely”

Points to Ponder

It’s clear from Solomon’s message that there is a balance to life and that good timing is the key. Isaac Newton also talked about this from a scientific sense when he said “for every action there is a reaction.” Unfortunately all too often we try to live life out of balance – forcing life to fit our desires and swimming against the current — which generally results in making things harder for ourselves, and leads to anger, frustration, and stress. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Instead, why not let life come to you? Recognize that there IS a time for everything. Life will play out and you will contribute the part you were destined to perform — just be sure to act at the right time.

Are you living life in balance? Are you exercising patience? How much better would your life be if you were?

Sassy's Book - A Life Worth Living

Chapter 12 of A Life Worth Living – Ask, and Ye Shall Receive

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Chapter 12 of “A Life Worth Living – The Story of Sassy”

Click here to read the earlier chapters and learn more about this serial novel

Chapter 12 – Ask, And Ye Shall Receive

(February, 2004)

All dogs are prone to getting into some kind of mischief — digging holes in the back yard, tearing up the couch, and of course ‘eating homework.’ For our part, we foolishly assumed that Sassy was different. Like so many doting parents, we believed our baby was an angel who could do no wrong. After all, Sassy didn’t bark at lot (without a specific reason, usually one related to food), didn’t cause messes in the house, was good around other people, and didn’t try to fight other dogs, however we’d eventually learn that she had a devious side too.

Now back when Sassy first came into our lives, she lived with Anne and Rose in an apartment complex called The Marquis. To this day Anne always says that The Marquis was Sassy’s favorite place to live — it was a first floor apartment with plenty of panoramic windows overlooking a water fountain, it was quiet, Sassy had her own private courtyard to do her business in, and Rose spoiled her with soothing music, aromatherapy, and unlimited treats. Yes, Sassy loved The Marquis — but with that kind of treatment, who wouldn’t?

Even still, we discovered that Sassy could be sneaky when she wanted to — as it turned out, when we were cleaning the apartment as Rose and Anne were getting ready to move out, we discovered that there was a tiny corner of carpet in Rose’s bedroom which Sassy had dug through — to this day we don’t know why. We also don’t know when she did it because Rose never found any evidence of Sassy’s handiwork during the time they lived there — no shreds of carpet, debris, or strings. It was as if Sassy channeled her inner Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption and took away a single fiber of carpet with her each time she visited that secret corner until eventually she had nearly dug a tunnel that even Andy would have been proud of. Thankfully Sassy’s grand plans for escape caused so little damage that The Marquis didn’t even ding Rose or Anne on their security deposit.

However Anne and I would not be so lucky after Sassy’s next “remodel.”

Although we certainly didn’t intend for this to be the case, as it turned out, Sassy hated her next home — The Preserve — an apartment complex where Anne and I shared our first place together and where the full depths of Sassy’s fury would reveal itself! Now we chose The Preserve because it was a brand new facility with lots of nice amenities, and it was less than a mile from where we both worked at USAA. We never considered that Sassy would not like it, but looking back it’s easy to see why: our second story apartment didn’t have anywhere near the views which The Marquis had (unable to just lay on the couch and look out, Sassy had to exert the effort to go out on the balcony to see anything, and even then she only got a view of “conservation” [read: a swamp which the apartment complex charged us extra for]);  any tranquility Sassy might have found by looking at the conservation was usually spoiled by loud neighbors both above and below whose unexpected noises at all hours ruined Sassy’s peace; and it didn’t help that Sassy also had to share a small stretch of grass with countless other dogs when she wanted to relieve herself. As a result, for Sassy, life at The Preserve became quickly like solitary confinement in a prison and soon after moving in, we realized we might have made a mistake and hated to leaving her alone there. Suddenly our lease couldn’t expire fast enough and Anne and I kicked our search for our first house into high gear.

Yet Sassy got the last laugh on that awful apartment — although we never realized it until after we moved. Now most of the time when you move into an apartment you have to put down a security deposit to (among other things) cover damages you cause but don’t repair when you later move out.  With all my prior apartments I’d gotten most if not all of my security deposits back (oh sure, there was this one apartment at college during my senior year where we maybe left a few poorly repaired holes in the walls as a result of this new knife throwing game my roommates and I made up that year when we weren’t playing Techmo Bowl, but let’s overlook that one for now). The fact is that Anne and I expected to get a letter from the apartment complex with the full return of our security deposit — instead we got a letter from The Preserve’s lawyer not only making a claim on the entire value of our security deposit but demanding even more money from us! According the the lawyer, the entire carpet in or two-bedroom apartment (which was brand new when we moved in) had been destroyed by animal urine — her letter went on to say that the damage was so extensive (covering nearly every square inch of carpeted space) and so extreme (the urine was so laser focused it penetrated through the carpet pad and into the subflooring) that it appeared to have been done intentionally — in essence she accused of us knowingly vandalizing the apartment!

Anne and I were shocked and appalled. On the one hand it was rather embarrassing to have someone claim you encouraged your dog to urinate all over your apartment — which we certainly did not do. In addition, it’s obviously really gross to think that our visitors (and Anne and I) were walking around on such a carpet. And worst of all, Anne and I (OK probably mostly just me) were loath to pay out thousands in damages when we’d just exhausted much of our savings in buying a new house.

“I just can’t believe this is true.” I lamented to Anne as we discussed the letter. “I mean surely we would smelled it if it was really that bad?”

“You would think so.” Anne agreed, horrified at the prospect that her apartment had been anything but uber-clean as per the standards her mother had always instilled in her.

Just then Sassy strolled casually into the living room of our new house — having just come from sunning herself on her private lanai. Anne picked her up and looked into Sassy’s eyes, “Did you really do this, girl?” Yet it wasn’t long before she brought Sassy down to her lap and started chuckling in spite of the situation. “You know as well as I do, Michael, that Sassy hated that apartment. Although I can’t believe it’s as bad as they say, I wouldn’t put it past Sassy to have done it — after all, it would be the perfect way for her to get back at the place.”

I read the letter again, seeing key phrases like “systematic effort to cause harm” and “laser focus penetration,” and looked at Sassy — happy as a lark in Anne’s lap and totally loving our new home. “Sassy has always been an angel, there’s no way she could have done this! This is something that would take a big dog to do, right?”

Yet Anne appeared to already be coming to grips with the situation, “Or perhaps a little dog who was just very, very determined — and mad.” And she stroked Sassy behind the ears.

However I wasn’t so quick to accept things. “I’m going to fight this! There’s no way we’re paying for something like this without proof. I will demand to see their proof.”

In the end, we did fight it, and ultimately it was my demand to see proof that helped us reach a settlement. Sure we ended up losing half of our security deposit, but we avoided paying the thousands that were originally demanded of us because the apartment complex did the work without notifying us in advance or giving us a right to inspect the damages with them. I think their lawyer knew she had a tenuous position and she tried to strong arm us up front with legalese to scare us. When we fought back, she didn’t have much to stand on. Perhaps we could have gotten the entire deposit back, but since we never really knew if Sassy did cause the damage they claimed (and since we had to admit to ourselves that perhaps our little angel did have a devilish side too) we felt that we should pay something towards the carpet replacement, so we agreed to the settlement and moved on.

Final score: Sassy 1, The Preserve 0.

*****

As for our new house – Sassy truly loved it – perhaps even more than The Marquis. It was a lovely three bedroom, two bathroom home in Land O Lakes in a quiet, family-friendly neighborhood. Sassy once again had her own private yard to enjoy as well as a
covered lanai in which she could relax. She also had an area in the front foyer that had little windows by the door which came down all the way to the floor so that she could monitor what was happening on the street as well.

Now we bought that house in February, 2004, however we’d been looking for a home in that area for over a year. We’d actually found a new construction home about nine months prior in a golf course community called Plantation Palms that was just getting built across the street. It was the same builder (Ryland) and same floor plan (The Princeton model) as the house we’d eventually buy, except that we were going to build it in a new community. We’d even gone so far as to pick our lot (overlooking the green on hole #4) and had even started to sign the paperwork when the sales lady pointed out that we would have to pay a $3000 lot premium.

“A lot premium?” I queried. Never having heard of such a thing, I quickly displayed my anger (and my ignorance) that maybe this was some kind of scam. “Whoever heard of paying extra for a specific lot when I’m already paying you so much to build the new house?”

In the end, we did not do the deal – all because of that lot premium. For years afterward we always laughed about it (and still do to this day), because we’d later learn that a $3000 lot premium was actually not that expensive — especially as the market was soon to explode and that home which we could have bought for $130,000 would balloon up to over $300,000 in just a couple years! In the end, Anne and I bought the exact same house almost a year later except that it was across the street in the older, non-golf course community of Valencia Gardens. When it was all said and done, we paid about $30,000 more for an existing home that did not have a golf course view (curse you, lot premium!) — but by then the market was in overdrive and houses were being sold as soon as they hit the market. We actually found our home while driving by after viewing another home.

“Go slowly, Michael.” Anne commanded. “I wanna see what else is on this street.”

“So, I’m assuming you didn’t like the one we just saw?” I was disappointed that the house we just viewed was not apparently not up to snuff for Anne. “Sure it might need a little work but it has the floor plan you wanted.” After having viewed so many houses in the past few months I was exhausted and just ready to make a decision.

“It’s beat up, Michael. That family had too many people living it it and even though it was just built a few years ago it’s already in poor shape. Who’s gonna do the work – you?”

I didn’t reply at first – knowing my limitations and regretting that I’d never paid attention to all the practical life lessons my handyman father had tried to teach me over the years. Which gave me an idea. “Well, how about we buy that one and have my dad–”

“Stop the car!” Anne interrupted me as she saw a man putting up a For Sale By Owner sign in his front yard. “Michael, I think this is the same model. And just look at those neutral colors – I love it. Let’s go talk to that guy.”

I stopped the car and met a man named Casey who was all too happy to show us his house. Anne was correct — it was indeed the same floor plan (with a great room/kitchen combo that really opened up the house, an imagination room (aka office), and beautiful massive built in entertainment wall. On top of that it was smartly painted inside and out with the neutral colors that Anne liked. As a result, we made Casey take down the for sale sign down and signed a contract with him that day — such was the hysteria in the market at that time (although I still prided myself on negotiating Casey down a few thousand from his asking price).

Interestingly enough, that real estate transaction (one which I handled without the use of realtors but instead with a real estate attorney and in which I also negotiated the mortgage on my own) was the best real estate experience I have ever been a part of. Unfortunately, the thrill of that successful experience (and the quick riches which our friends were soon making by flipping houses) whet my appetite (read: greed) for more — but as the real estate market exploded in Florida in 2004-2007 it brought with it a cast of shady characters who were all too eager to prey people eager for a quick buck. As you’ll soon learn, we became caught up in that mess as well.

But all of that was in the future — for now, we had a new home to enjoy, Sassy was in heaven in her new digs, and everything was right with the world. At least for a little while…

 

Sassy’s Life Lesson #12: Ask, And Ye Shall Receive

In the Gospel of Matthew (7:7-12), Jesus tells us “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you…” Sassy wasn’t happy when we lived at The Preserve and her way of asking was apparently to pee on the carpet. Hopefully when you want something, you’ll think of a better way of asking! But the point is the same – if you want something, don’t just sit around and hope it will come to you. Ask for it!

Wanna make more sales in your career or want a promotion? Ask for it!

Wanna get the girl of your dreams to go out on a date with you? Ask her!

Need help with your schoolwork? Ask for it!

Wanna make your owners move to a new house? Pee on the carpet!

OK, maybe you don’t do that last one, but you get the idea. If you want something, you need to speak up. Life doesn’t reward people who sit around and hope, it rewards those who take action. After all, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, right?

 

Point to Ponder

What’s something you want that you need to ask for? How much better would your life be if you got what you wanted? What’s stopping you from asking? You’ll never get it unless you try so don’t delay, ask today!