I’ve spent a lot of years—fifty-some-odd now, if you’re counting—looking at the balance sheet of life. And if there is one hard-won truth I can pass down to you, it’s this…

Your life is a reflection of what you choose to nourish.

Think of your mind like a plot of garden soil. It’s fertile. Something is going to grow there whether you like it or not. You have two types of seeds in your pocket: the “Fear and Doubt” variety and the “Faith and Confidence” strain. The one that ends up taking over the yard isn’t the one that’s “right” or “true”—it’s simply the one you decide to water every morning.

The Year the Weeds Took Over

I remember back in 2017, I was staring down a lot of unknowns. I was working for a company on the verge of bankruptcy that kept me up at 2:00 AM wondering if I was about to sink the family finances ship. On top of that, I’d stopped working out and my health was a uncertain—I was dealing with an intermittent edema that doctors couldn’t explain and the occasional vertigo that only added to the ‘spinning’ of my world.

I knew at the time I was feeding the wrong things. I was feeding the “What if I fail?” and “Why don’t I have any energy?”. I was watering the frustration and the anger. And you know what grew? A thick, thorny hedge of anxiety that started to choke out the things that actually mattered—like the joy of watching my older son grow or the “indomitable spirit” of youngest one.

It took a course correction to realize that if I kept giving life to the negative, I was never going to have the energy to build the legacy I so desperately wanted.

Starving the Weeds

You see, we all have those “weeds”.

We have the insecurity that tells us we’re not talented enough, or the guilt that nags us about past mistakes, or the fears that we’ll never get healthy again.

In 2020, during the height of the lockdowns, I felt that old anger and frustration creeping back in. My relationship with with my wife was feeling the strain because I was withdrawing into my own head, feeding fears about those uncertain times and all the external chaos that went with it.

I had to make a choice.

I had to “starve the discouragement.” For me, that meant shutting off the news and picking up my personal journal. It meant replacing the “What if the world ends?” thoughts with affirmations like: “I am the rock that my family soars from” or “My mind is a sea of happiness”.

It sounds simple, maybe even a little “woo-woo” to some, but it’s practical as a hammer. When you stop feeding the doubt—when you quit talking about it, quit ruminating on it, and quit giving it your “Now Moments”—the negatives in your life eventually lose their power – they wilt and you begin to win.

Planting Seeds for the Long Run

So, what does “feeding the positive” look like in the real world? It’s not about ignoring reality, instead…

It’s about choosing a different focus.

In my own life, I’ve found that feeding my faith and confidence means doubling down on the “Legacy” activities that bring me joy. In 2023 and 2024, I tracked my “Top 10” activities. You know what was at the top? The Bible, journaling, “Now Moments” with my family, and working out.

I started feeding the relationship with my boys and my wife. Instead of worrying about my older son’s struggles in Middle School, we fed his confidence through basketball and weightlifting. Instead of feeding my own career frustrations, I fed my passion for writing—finally getting my fantasy book series moving. My younger son and I went fishing more – and we discovered he’d really good at it. My wife and I went out for more walks together and enjoyed talking again.

When you feed your “Faith,” you aren’t just hoping for the best; you are actively investing in the version of yourself that can handle the worst. You’re building a foundation of love and determination that makes the obstacles of life look small.

The Practical Integration: The “Morning Audit”

If you want to change what’s growing in your life, you need a daily maintenance plan. Here is a hard-won hack I use every morning:

1. The Affirmation Anchor: Before you check your phone (which is basically an IV drip of “Doubt Seeds”), write down three things you know to be true about your value. Use “I am” statements. “I am a provider,” “I am a finisher,” “I am grateful”.
2. The “Now Moment” Hunt: Throughout the day, look for one small thing—a sunset, a laugh with your kids, a good cup of coffee—and mentally say, “I’m feeding this” by remembering it and focusing on it.
3. Starve the Complaint: Try to go until noon without voicing a single complaint or worry. Every time you complain, you’re just watering a weed.

Perspective from the Front Porch of Life

In the long run, nobody remembers the fears that didn’t come true. They remember the man who was a “foundation of love”. They remember the father who was “consciously aware of his life’s focus”.

You have a limited amount of energy. Don’t waste it on the things you don’t want to see grow. Quit giving life to the negative. Starve the inferiority. Feed your confidence. You’ll be amazed at how quickly the garden changes when you start planting the right seeds.

The Legacy CTA

Start that “one thing” you’ve been putting off because you were afraid you weren’t “talented enough.” Whether it’s writing a book, starting a garden, working out, or just sitting down to have a real “wisdom chat” with your kids—do it today. Feed the action, and the doubt will starve.

Stay helpful,

Mike (“That Helpful Dad”)