Tag Archives: fear

Starve the Fear, Feed Your Hope, and Step in to a New Life

I’ve spent a lot of years—fifty-some-odd now, if you’re counting—looking at the balance sheet of life. And if there is one hard-won truth I can pass down to you, it’s this…

Your life is a reflection of what you choose to nourish.

Think of your mind like a plot of garden soil. It’s fertile. Something is going to grow there whether you like it or not. You have two types of seeds in your pocket: the “Fear and Doubt” variety and the “Faith and Confidence” strain. The one that ends up taking over the yard isn’t the one that’s “right” or “true”—it’s simply the one you decide to water every morning.

The Year the Weeds Took Over

I remember back in 2017, I was staring down a lot of unknowns. I was working for a company on the verge of bankruptcy that kept me up at 2:00 AM wondering if I was about to sink the family finances ship. On top of that, I’d stopped working out and my health was a uncertain—I was dealing with an intermittent edema that doctors couldn’t explain and the occasional vertigo that only added to the ‘spinning’ of my world.

I knew at the time I was feeding the wrong things. I was feeding the “What if I fail?” and “Why don’t I have any energy?”. I was watering the frustration and the anger. And you know what grew? A thick, thorny hedge of anxiety that started to choke out the things that actually mattered—like the joy of watching my older son grow or the “indomitable spirit” of youngest one.

It took a course correction to realize that if I kept giving life to the negative, I was never going to have the energy to build the legacy I so desperately wanted.

Starving the Weeds

You see, we all have those “weeds”.

We have the insecurity that tells us we’re not talented enough, or the guilt that nags us about past mistakes, or the fears that we’ll never get healthy again.

In 2020, during the height of the lockdowns, I felt that old anger and frustration creeping back in. My relationship with with my wife was feeling the strain because I was withdrawing into my own head, feeding fears about those uncertain times and all the external chaos that went with it.

I had to make a choice.

I had to “starve the discouragement.” For me, that meant shutting off the news and picking up my personal journal. It meant replacing the “What if the world ends?” thoughts with affirmations like: “I am the rock that my family soars from” or “My mind is a sea of happiness”.

It sounds simple, maybe even a little “woo-woo” to some, but it’s practical as a hammer. When you stop feeding the doubt—when you quit talking about it, quit ruminating on it, and quit giving it your “Now Moments”—the negatives in your life eventually lose their power – they wilt and you begin to win.

Planting Seeds for the Long Run

So, what does “feeding the positive” look like in the real world? It’s not about ignoring reality, instead…

It’s about choosing a different focus.

In my own life, I’ve found that feeding my faith and confidence means doubling down on the “Legacy” activities that bring me joy. In 2023 and 2024, I tracked my “Top 10” activities. You know what was at the top? The Bible, journaling, “Now Moments” with my family, and working out.

I started feeding the relationship with my boys and my wife. Instead of worrying about my older son’s struggles in Middle School, we fed his confidence through basketball and weightlifting. Instead of feeding my own career frustrations, I fed my passion for writing—finally getting my fantasy book series moving. My younger son and I went fishing more – and we discovered he’d really good at it. My wife and I went out for more walks together and enjoyed talking again.

When you feed your “Faith,” you aren’t just hoping for the best; you are actively investing in the version of yourself that can handle the worst. You’re building a foundation of love and determination that makes the obstacles of life look small.

The Practical Integration: The “Morning Audit”

If you want to change what’s growing in your life, you need a daily maintenance plan. Here is a hard-won hack I use every morning:

  1. The Affirmation Anchor: Before you check your phone (which is basically an IV drip of “Doubt Seeds”), write down three things you know to be true about your value. Use “I am” statements. “I am a provider,” “I am a finisher,” “I am grateful”.
  2. The “Now Moment” Hunt: Throughout the day, look for one small thing—a sunset, a laugh with your kids, a good cup of coffee—and mentally say, “I’m feeding this” by remembering it and focusing on it.
  3. Starve the Complaint: Try to go until noon without voicing a single complaint or worry. Every time you complain, you’re just watering a weed.

Perspective from the Front Porch of Life

In the long run, nobody remembers the fears that didn’t come true. They remember the man who was a “foundation of love”. They remember the father who was “consciously aware of his life’s focus”.

You have a limited amount of energy. Don’t waste it on the things you don’t want to see grow. Quit giving life to the negative. Starve the inferiority. Feed your confidence. You’ll be amazed at how quickly the garden changes when you start planting the right seeds.

The Legacy CTA

Start that “one thing” you’ve been putting off because you were afraid you weren’t “talented enough.” Whether it’s writing a book, starting a garden, working out, or just sitting down to have a real “wisdom chat” with your kids—do it today. Feed the action, and the doubt will starve.

Stay helpful,

Mike (“That Helpful Dad”)

Are You Willing to Make a Fool of Yourself…And Become a Master?

“The time came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin


I think it’s fair to say that most people who want to achieve a goal understand that it takes hard work and effort, but in order to break free from the mold and achieve mastery level it takes something more: it takes a willingness to expose your work to the world — even if it means you risk making a fool of yourself.

The question is — are you willing to pay the price it takes to achieve such greatness?

I deliberately selected this pic because (personally) I can think of nothing more scary than dancing in public in front of a bunch of strangers. (Without a bit of liquid courage — I’d rather go in front of a firing squad!). And yet, it’s often these ‘moment of truths’ that make all the difference in life.


Flowers cannot bloom unless they are exposed to the sunlight.

Our work can never be discovered if we only keep it to ourselves. As creators we know this, and yet still we delay. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. We KNOW that sooner or later we have to put ourselves and our work on display — whether that be dancing, writing, music, or whatever is our passion. If we don’t share it with the world we are wasting God’s precious gifts to us. And we tell ourselves “Someday I will. When the time is right. When the work is perfected. Definitely, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it and not care what others think. Yes, I’m gonna do it…someday.”

But that someday never comes. We keep delaying — it’s safer that way. Yet still the urge grows inside. Until, finally, at last — we decide it’s time to let the flower bloom. It’s time to show ourselves to the world — even if people think our flower isn’t all that beautiful, it no longer matters. All that matters is we are free. We are pursuing our destiny.

And it feels incredible.


The question is — what’s stopping YOU?

Here are four questions I often ask myself in order to make progress. Pondering them helps me change my mindset and the new perspective I gain makes me think about my creativity (and my life) differently. Perhaps they will help you too.

HONESTY — are you willing to be honest with yourself, even when it hurts? It’s easy to be aware of your strengths and work to build them further, but it takes courage to acknowledge your weaknesses — especially when they are painful — but unless you are willing to view yourself from all angles, you’ll be trapped by an illusion that limits your growth. This doesn’t mean you should spend all your time developing your weaknesses and not work on your strengths — on the contrary I’m a believer that you should have an 80/20 (or even 90/10) focus on ‘living your strengths.’ But you still need to be aware of your weaknesses — make sure there are not any limiting factors that could hamper your growth.

The Wacky Weed | Walter Lanz, 1946

In our flower example, if there’s a weed growing up right next to you, it would probably be a good idea to nip the weed in the bud (better yet pull that sucker out from the roots!) before it has a chance to strangle you!

2. EMBARRASSMENT — Are you willing to endure embarrassment in order to grow? Nobel prize winner George Bernard Shaw once said…

“I learned to speak as I learned to skate or cycle: by doggedly making a fool of myself until I got used to it.”

If you want to achieve greatness, you have to be willing to suffer through some awkward moments in front of other people. Do you have the courage to face such public embarrassment while you continue to practice, make mistakes, and keep trying? Most people like the security of sitting on the sidelines and laughing at other’s mistakes — that’s why most people don’t achieve greatness. They are the weeds of life. The weeds think they are strong. The weeds think the flowers are weak. The weeds are wrong.

Courtesy of rmac8oppo/CCO Creative Commons

A beautiful flower seems fragile to the weeds, but what the weeds don’t understand is that the ‘fragility’ of the flower is an integral part of its beauty. The willingness to pursue your craft in front of the whole world, by definition, makes you more fragile, and yet it’s the only way to bloom. Let the world SEE your beauty — and gain strength in the process.

3. CHILDLIKE — can you become like a little child — unafraid of failure and instead focused on getting what you want? Babies make mistakes like they are going out of style, yet they learn and keep trying because that’s all they know how to do.

Jesus reminded his disciples of the importance of humbling themselves and ‘becoming like little children.’ Accept the fact that you still have more to learn, and see the world with the open mind of a child. That change in perspective can open your mind to recognize new paths you never even knew existed before — and these are the paths to your destiny.

4. FRUSTRATION — are you willing to deal with a little frustration in order to grow? Flowers have to break through the soil to find the light — imagine how difficult that must be? In the same way, when you must break free of the crowd. But it’s not easy. When you first start learning a new skill, you might enjoy some early successes that will inspire you to keep going, but eventually you’ll hit a wall and feel like you’re going backwards. This is because the more you learn about your skill, the higher you begin to raise your standards — and soon what was good in the beginning is no longer good enough. Additionally, the more you learn, the more you become aware of your errors — recognizing things you often overlooked in the beginning because you didn’t know any better.

Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash

You’ll feel frustration, anger, and even a loss of self-esteem as you struggle to open the petals of your flower. You may even feel like quitting. But don’t give in to this temptation! Instead understand that these ups and downs are all part of the growth process. No mountain climb is just a straight line directly up the path — there are always some peaks and valleys on the path to greatness. In the same way, no flower goes from bud to bloom overnight — but if you keep pushing through the soil, you WILL bloom.

Now that you know, it’s time to grow

I’ll leave you with this quote and then send you on your way…

“Awareness is like sunlight over a dark well.”
Dan Millman


Did This Wisdom Help You?

If so, take a quick sec and…

  1. Share this page with a friend so they can benefit too
  2. Share your wisdom – did you have a similar experience? Drop me a line below and tell us about it.
  3. Follow my blog and let’s stay connected – we can help each other reach new heights.

Let’s talk again soon!